Figment Of The Bride

One day MT was watcing some corny sitcom that was around in those days uh.. uh what was around in those days? Oh I dunno.. Leave it to Beaver or something (even though I am prolly off by 398149834 years but anyway).
"Moooommmy hassing to get married to Micky Daddy thing!" MT thought to himself rabidly.
"Don't do that dear." said Al, sweeping up his mindpad for smutty things are not allowed.
MT was befuddled and went into the kitchen where Micky was wrestling BT for a can of beans.
"MY beans!" said BT.
"Micky was YELLING not shouting!" said Peter and wrote things hastily in his book before poofing up a can of spaghetti sauce to tabulate the results.
"MINE!" shouted Micky and lunged.
"NOOO ITS MINE!" shouted BT and lunged also.
"Much lunging going around, must put on a scarf." said MT absently to himself and put on the tablecloth.

Meanwhile, Mike was getting ready for a nappyschnappypoopoo.
"Nap, PLEASE!" said Mike.
Sorry. Anyway. Mike was readying himself for the nap of a lifetime.
"Ten minutes if I set this alarm right. Now bug off!" said Mike.
"Hey hey hey that's THAT author Mike.." whispered Peter.
"Oh uh uh uh.. yeh.. hehe" said Mike and hid under the blankets.
ANYWAY, Mike was settling down for a long ten minutes' nap, and having brushed his teeth and put on his pajamas, he absentmindedly took off his hat.
"Now, WHY did he do all that if its only for ten minutes?" asked Peter, pen at ready.
"I DON'T KNOW GET OUT OF THE WAY!" shouted the author and threw Peter out of the bedroom and into Sassip's pouch.
"Ugh I hate THAT author.." said Peter and chalked up his continuity board that he put in the pouch for when he was stuck there.
So Mike took off his hat like he usually did, and forgot its annoying tendency to make him stupid when not there.
"NO NO NO!" shouted Al and came running in. She bent over to pick up the hat and just as she turned around to put it back on Mike she got pogoed in the face.
"YAAAHOOO!" shouted Mike and pogoed all around.
"OOF" said Al and was dead.
"MOMMY MOMMY you're not dead, you have to get married!" said MT.
"THAT"S WHAT I'M SO FAR OUT I'M IN!" shouted Mike and pogoed up to the ceiling.
"Hmm we really should do something about that.." said Al, looking at a huge hole in the ceiling.
"I CAN SEE MY HOUSE FROM HERE!" Mike shouted from the roof.
"MOMMY MOMMY!" shouted MT, pushing Micky at her.
"HUH!?" said Al and got poked in the eye with Micky's antler.
"CAREFUL WITH THAT YO!" shouted Mike and fell from the roof in a fit of hilarity.
"WHAT THE HECK?!!?!" shouted Al and kicked at him.
"Hey lady I'm not dead I'm only sleeeeeeeeeeepinnggggaaahhh!" sang Mike and giggled and then rolled over onto his stomach and got up, straightened himself out, sniffed condeeeeeescendingly and walked out of the room quite dignified.
He only got one and one half steps when he foolishly tripped and fell off the balcony.

"Uh sure whatever, where did Mike go, is he okay?" asked Al.
"Fffiiinnnee....." said Mike in a shakey, cracky voice.
"OH MIKE!" shouted Davy and ran to his side in a show of comradery.
"Awwwww innit cute?" said Micky and smirked.
"Al is marrying Micky!" announced MT happily.
"You're having my kids!!!" said Sassip incredulously.
"OH!!!!" said Peter and went to start a Continuity Tabloid with financing help from Mike & BT.
"WHAAAAT?!" screeched MT.
"I mean you're kidding! Whatever!" said Sassip and preened Davy.
"Preen me not foul thing!" shouted Davy and flipped off to the bathroom tetchily.
"Heyyyeee I'm not marrying that antlered fool!" shouted Al and rolled around to get the taste out of her mouth.
"But MOMMMEEEEEEEEEE YOU PROMIIISSSSEEEDDD" whined MT and stepped on her to make her stop rolling.
"But MT I am NOT marrying Micky!" shouted Al and was stepped on.
"Yeh I'm not marrying AL either!" shouted Micky and made a face.
"YOU DIDN'T SAY IT ALL STUPID!" shouted BT and stuck him with asparagus until he kicked her away.

"Ah ah ah!!!" said Al and tried to comfort him with promises of pops and tinker toys galore and pudding out the wazoo but he was not comforted.
"MICKY SAYS MT HAD BETTER STOP CRYING!" shouted Micky and shoved cotton in his ears.
"CORDUROY *STILL* DOES IT BETTER!" shouted Mike and pogoed up to the balcony with 2 bolts of corduroy stuck in his ears.
After a whole day of whining and crying, Micky and Al finally relented.
"YAY!" said MT and squooshed Micky in a hug.
"*I'M* wearing the pants in THIS pad!" said Al and kicked Micky in the frypan.
"Yes dear," said Micky and went to make apple turnovers.
"Oh oh I have a BEYOOOOOOTIFUL lacey dress and veil you'd look GORGEOUS in!" said BT and ran to get her makeup kit and sewing stuff.
"Beeteeeeee is a haberdasher," said MT sweetly. He knew BIG words, yes he did!
"Mike will give Micky a home perm!" said Mike proudly and brandished a pair of hedgeclippers.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PERMS FOR MICKY!" whimpered Micky and ran up the staircase upsidedown and backwards.
"HOOOWW??" shouted Davy and fell over giggling.
"I'll take it I'll take I want the perm!" said BT hopping around on two feet in anticipation.
Mike ran over and lopped off BT's hair and squirted gel in her eye.
"I to be givings perms for freeeeeeeeeeeeee!" shouted Mike and gave her a free can of complimentary beans.
"GIMME BACK MY HAIR!" BT shrieked and grew it back.
"Omigosh how come she never did that that time when things happened?" said Peter but nobody knew what he meant. His hair was immaculate.

Mike blinked at BT and began to cry.
"OH BT DOESN'T LIKE MY PERMS!" he twanged bitterly.
"OH Mikey go bitter cry cry twangy foops!" shouted MT and patted him on the back.
"OMIGOSH POOR BAAABY," cried BT and clung to him in remorse.
"Oh," said Mike in alarm and discomfort.
"HUGGIES FOR MIKEEE!" shouted MT and squished them both to kibbles and bits and bits.
"Micky is pleased to be announcing he is not in that sandwich hug!" sighed Micky happily.
"I found your dress for the wedding." said Al, poofing in.
"TIME FOR MICKY TO BE PRETTY," said BT and assaulted him with mascara and eyeliner and lipstick and concealer and heaven knows what else.
"You are buff!" said Peter.
"No I am buff," said Davy in confusion.
"No he is the base shade called buff," said Peter.
"HUH?!" said everyone and ran around wondering when Peter got to be a makeup expert.
"I AM NOT A GIRL!!!" shrilled Micky in a high-pitched voice.
"Hmph coulda fooled me," BT sneered and applied blush.
"Why not? It's a lovely color for you," said Peter.
"It's getting on my dress," Micky whimpered.
"Oh phaw he's girlier than ME," said BT in disgust and threw onions at him.

"Oh Daaaaaayveeeeeee," said Sassip blinking flirtaciously.
"Mm?" said Davy, looking up from his new issue of Poundcake Monthly.
"Al & Micky are getting MARRIED," she said.
"Mm," said Davy noncommittally, nodding and turning a page.
"I think getting married is a great idea!" said Sassip not-too-subtly.
"Oh she will never learn the womanly art of flirting," Sassip said coquettishly and went to primp.
"Oh my starnations," said Mike and pogoed around in a frenzy.
"What?!" said Davy who just noticed BT was staring at him.
"Oh nothing," said BT and went to bother........ someone. Nobody knew who.
"Al I think the hem is uneven on this gown," Micky complained.
"SHADDAP ONION-BOY!" snapped Al.
"Henpecked," said Peter sadly, shaking his head from side to side and clucking.
"HENS HENS CHICKS WHERE FOR ME MINE MINE?!" Mike said frantically pogoing all over Micky.
"OUCH," Micky said and polished his antlers in coral #2.
"NO NO NOT CORAL! Use dark red it matches your ears," said Peter.
"What?!" said Micky.
"Hey hey who is gonna marry us?" said Al.
"I WILL I WILL I WILL!!" shouted BT frantically and climbed up Mike like he was a tree. Really he was not a tree he was a pogo thing, probably Micky was the closest thing in the pad to a tree. But Micky didn't have no spiffin' leaves, so there ya go. Anyways.

"Oh, it's that Author Who Has Problems With The LINE LIMIT Rule," Peter said snitchily.
Oh, bite me. Anyhoo...
"No no I mean marry as in 'Do you take this poundcake to be your lawfully wedded snack in sickness and in illness' and all that," said Al.
"Oh," said BT disappointedly. She had been hoping................ well never mind. Anyway.
"If you say anyway again I'll leave!" Peter said snivelling.
"Peter don't cry your mascara will run!!" said Micky frantically.
"I don't wear mascara, Girlyboy," smilked Peter and left.
"OH OH SMILKIN YEH YEH I CAN DIG THAT we should all smilk some more yo Micky my woman are you gonna have some smilkers at your wedding yeh yeh?!" said Micky.
"I'm a man," sniffed Micky.
"HAHAHAHAHA," laughed BT and poured paint on him. NO she didn't do that... uh... never mind.
"I need cufflinks," said Al and poofed some up but they didn't fit so she poofed some more up.
"Why didn't you poof up ones that fit in the first place?" asked Link, who was feeling decidedly left out.
"Uhhhhh..." said Al and seemed genuinely confused by this statement. "Now now now how come you think SHE'S a girl but you still think I'M a boy?! I mean see she is being stupid and we all know how smart *I* am and we all know how boys are stupid and girls are smart and-" BT rattled until Mike said "THAT'S WHY MICK'S SO FAR OUT SHE'S IN!" and punted her with his pogo stick.
"Punting is NOT a pogostickable thingy," said Sassip pointedly and settled down for a ten-hour nap.

"Mommy marries Daaaaddyyyy Daddy marries Moooommyyyy," MT said skipping around happily.
"Hey MT you wanna get married to ME?!" asked BT stupidly.
"No please and thank you, Boygirl," said MT sweetly and tralalaed around until he stared at Micky.
"But he just couldn't undehstand that his fatheh was notta man and it all was just a gaaaaaaaame!" Davy sang and was wearing a frilly thing.
"OMIGOSH HE'S SO CUTE!!!!" shouted Al & BT until Al realized she was being unfaithful and stopped in her tracks (which nobody bothered to mop up, let me tell you! She's SO MESSY). But BT went ahead and poofed up her own frilly thing and did the dance with Davy and it was really stupid and everyone stared.
"Say you guys are good you ought to be on things," said Peter.
"Hey why are you here? It was MY dance number," said Davy as if he just noticed and kicked BT to the moon.
"HE LEARNS SO FASSST," said Sassip, depositing him into her pouch for safekeeping.
"Nobody answered me," said MT plainly.
"Answered what?" said Micky.
"My question, why is Daddy you Micky me thing in a GIRLY DRESS?!" shrieked MT.
"Oh uh I am not in a dress," said Micky as Al quickly poofed their clothes onto each other, but it was too late anyway.
"SMILE! You're on candid camera!" said Peter evilly and went to develop the picture he took so it would last longer.

"But but but but," said MT confusedly and was gonna cry but he was pacified with pudding pops. I mean pudding. I mean lemmyade pops. Yeah.
"Hey hey Micky!" said BT.
"Yeah?" said Micky.
"Hey!" said BT.
"What?!" said Micky.
"HEY HEY Micky man!!" said BT.
"WHAT??!!!!!!!!!" shouted Micky.
"How come your tuxedo thang ain't got no nifty frills yo yo?" asked BT and rolled around.
"Uhhhhh cause I'm not Davy." said Micky and sulked.
"YEH that Davy he's the spiffiest! He's *MY* chicken fry buddy dontchaknow!!!" said Mike and smiled proudly.
"Uh.. yeeeaaahh Mike.." said Al and was pogoed in the head.
"Ahhh Mike lookit what you did!" said Peter and tsked alot.
"Its "CONTINUITY" and that's MISTER to you Mike!" shouted Peter and stalked off in a hurry.
"He grew up so fast I barely knew.." sniffed Mike and pogoed off to who knew where.
"Al you okay?" asked Davy. He wanted to marry Al. Not cause he really liked her but because she was smaller than him and couldn't punt.
"HUUUUH!?" shouted Al, waking up form slumberlandyunconsciousnessplaces.
"WHAATT?" giggled MT.
Uh.. nothing. Anyway...
"AUTHOR BE'S INCOKEERENT!" shouted MT and giggled.
ANYWAY..... uh.. Oh yeh, Micky was at Al's side in a trice.

"OH.. OH OH .. you aren't.. uh FOUR are you?" he asked in anticipation.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ITS DADDY!" shouted Al and hugged him.
"Ah, well I can't marry her NOW!" said Micky and picked them both up *somehow* and poofed out to Peter's mindpad.
Davy looked relieved.
"YOOOUUUUUU wanted to marry Al's pants!" snigged BT.
Davy looked at her oddly, shrugged and went to talk to Poundcake.
"WHAT?!" shouted BT as she was all alone.
"YOU FORGOT ME AGAIN!!!!!" shouted Sassip and punted BT out of spite and mischief.
Just then Micky poofed back in with his hair messed up and his shirt untucked and MT on his back and Al on his leg. He maneuvered his way over to Sassip.
"Uh.. could you...?" he asked.
"Why certainly, sir." said Sassip and punted them off.
"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" they shouted as they flew through the air and landed on BT.
"WHY ME??" shouted BT.
"Beeeeecause, you are not here and Davy is." said MT matter-of-factly.
"BUT BUT BUT!!! I THINK AL IS SHORTER THAN MEEEEEEE" shouted BT and rolled off to a lace-sew.
"OH OH OH BT IS SCANDALOUS!" shouted Mike, pogoing in for comic relief.
"No relief is too big or small for POGO BOY!" shouted Al and fell over.
"AL PICKED HER NOSE!" shouted MT screeeeeeeched.
"I DID *NOT*" shouted Al and tackled him, and then Micky walked by and they tackled him.

"Are you gonna get marrrrried now?" asked MT.
"HUH?" said Al and stared.
"Stare not at meeeeee." said MT and fidgeted.
"Uh, we're not getting married MT.." said Micky slowly.
"Yaher!" shouted Mike and pogoed in again.
"WHAT!?" shouted MT and looked around.
"Uh, are you what-ing at me or Mike?" asked Micky.
I was hasing a flashback." said MT and stared.
"WHAT!?" said Micky.
"OH OH OH!" said Al and fell asleep.
"Daddy isn't marrying Al!?" said MT and stared.
"Uh.. no because Al is uh... not your Mommy anymore uh wait no she is but she's not and then soemthing happened and she's a kid and I can't marry her because she's a kid see?" said Micky.
"Oh well whatever Mr. Man!" said MT and decided marriage wasn't the best for them anyway. Even though he was a kid and that was too complex a thought for a kid. Uh.. whatever.

"YAHEEERR!" shouted Mike and pogoed in again.
"WHY does he keep doing that and WHERE is he going?" shouted Micky.
"I think I will marry Al." said Mike and tried to grab her but he wasn't allowed to touch the floor and since bending over required him touching the floor he gave up and snagged BT on the way out.
Al woke up sometime later where she found MT playing with Micky's hair.
"IIIIII want to play toooo!" she shouted and ran over and played with his hair too. Then MT tickled her and they rolled around tickling each other for 6 hours.
Micky sighed and got up so he could take an Oreo bath.
"O-R-E-*O*!!!" said Mike and returned BT for a full refund with receipt because she was defective.
"HOW COULD YOU TELL?!" she shouted.

"DAVVVVVYYYY! I got us some chicken fry!" shouted Mike and Davy was by his side in a trice.
"Where is it Mike huh huh where is it you got it didn't you where lemme see it can I have some now is it still hot is it Mike is it can I have some can I huh can I Mike Please?! PLEASE!?" said Davy all frantic like.
"You're cute when yer frantic." said Mike and pinched Davy on his cheek.
"Dondoothat.." Davy said tetchily.
"Ahhhhh smell it Davy, my fishy brethren..... its the fried food of the gods....... AMBROSIA!" said Mike.
"No Mike its chicken fry..." said Davy worriedly.
"Oh yeh.. CHICKEN FRY! BEHOLD!" shouted Mike and unveiled a large Bucket of chicken fry.
"Uh.. Mike.. this is not chicken fry... its KFC!!" said Davy in horror.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HORRRRROOORRR!" shouted Sassip and ran out to the beach to quench her ravenous thirst for lunar eclipses. Even though there wasn't one. And it was daytime.
"I know. A whole bucket of the Colonel's finest!" smilked Mike.
"NOOOO MIKE!!!" shouted Davy and was taken aback.
"No I already took BT back." said Mike pointedly.
"No no not taken back. Taken *A*back!" said Peter.
"I know I took her aback already." said Mike.
"UGH Mike NO this is WRONG!" said Davy and threw out the KFC, and grabbed Mike andthey both rolled off to the chicken fry parties Mike used to love so.

"I WILL JOLT HIS MEMORY!" called Davy on the phone a minute later.
"You could have saved a nickel!" said Peter.
"I like a money-smart man! Marry me, Peter!" said BT brashly.
"No," said Peter.
"WHY WON'T ANYONE MARRY ME?!" sobbed BT who felt very left out. She didn't care really only it was the new trend and she could not participate.
"Well, maybe it's the antennae," said Peter helpfully.
"THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANTED TO HEAR!!!!" shouted BT and slapped Peter upside the head.
"What did you want to hear?" said Link.
"I wanted to hear a truthful yet encouraging reply like, 'Because you are not our type but I am sure there is someone in the Pad who WOULD marry you', or something," sniffled BT.
"I think that's very true," said Link.
"No, what I mean is that if there were two of you and one was a girl you would marry yourself," said Link.
"THAT DIDN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!!!!!!!!" cried BT and tried to crawl up MT's pant leg with no success. Probably because he was banging on the bathroom door with Al. That is, MT had picked her up and was ramming her into the door.
"WHEEEE IT'S FUN MORE MORE!!!!" squeed Al happily.
"Squee squee!!" said MT.
"GO AWAY!!!!!" shouted Micky from in his Oreo shrine.
"No no you love us and want to play with us always and we bring you joy and light up your life and you bring us pops and pudding and that is how it works," said Al matter-of-factly.
"HUH?!" said MT and pulled her hair.
"OUCH!" squeed Al and pulled his and they pulled each other's hair a lot and knocked BT down the stairs where she landed on Davy and got so mad that he turned down her marriage proposal that she slapped him upside the head too.

"YAAAAAHERRR!" Mike shouted, pogoing through and bouncing up and down in place directly on BT's spine.
"OUCHHHH," howled BT and slapped him upside the hair.
"Why not head?" Sassip wanted to know.
"SHUT YER TRAP SEABEASTIE DELINQUENT," BT growled. Sassip shut her trap and ssssssssslinked off to get some sleefish to go.
"Aren't you supposed to be at a chicken fry hmmmmm??? WELL?!" said Peter, getting up in Mike's face.
"No," said Mike sweetly. "I leaved."
"YOU DARE TO DEFY CONTINUITY?!" said Peter menacingly.
"YUP, HER HER HER," said Mike and pogoed Peter into the ground.
"Ouch," Peter winced and chalked that newfound info down.
"Mike! I like a man who won't let himself be walked all over! MARRY ME!" said BT starrily.
"Mike! Have my children!" said BT.
"It goes UP and down and UP and down and UP..." continued Mike.
"What?" asked Mike innocently, never missing a pogo-beat.
"Never mind!!!" said BT in disgust and slapped him upside the head.
"OMIGOSH STOP THAT!!!!" said Micky from his Oreo shrine, but was not heard. He knew he was next.
"Oh THERE you are!" said Davy, rolling in. "Please, Mike, you gotta get down and roll! It's the ONLY way to travel to a chicken fry party!!" he pleaded.
"Huh? POGO," said Mike.
"The continuity," said Peter weakly.
"What about it?" said Sassip nosily.
"Davy was HERE already, because BT fell on him. HE CAN'T HAVE JUST ROLLED IN," Peter moaned.
"Oh, eat the medisings," said BT dropping three Ibuprofen down his throat. He swallowed meekly after Davy made it up to him by giving him some milk waterfall. "Goooood boy," said BT approvingly and fed him grapes. No no no.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH," cried Al less enthusiastically, trudging down the stairs.
"What?!" said everyone who was there. Then Sassip went to get MORE sleefish to go as she just hadn't had enough, Mike pogoed off to who knows where, Davy rolled off to a chicken fry, Peter withdrew into his Continuity Corner, and BT sulked.

"WAAAAAH," sniffled Al and MT.
"Aahahahaha stop kiddie-whining at me!!! Go bother your daddy Micky thing with it," said BT irkedly.
"He won't answerrrrrr," sniffled MT. "He has Oreos. I want some," said Al.
"HEY MICKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY," said BT loudly, going upstairs and banging the door in.
"NOOOOOOO," Micky whimpered and hid under his Oreowooder.
"Chocowooder," said Al happily and climbed in followed by MT.
"MICK-ICK-ICK-ICK-ICK-ICK-ICKY" shouted Mike, pogoing in yet again.
"I have have an Oreo with yer name on it aher!" said Mike and bounced alot.
"I wuv bouncy Mike!" said Al and jumped on him.
"ME TOO!" shouted MT and went to jump but Mike made scared eyes and hopped quickly away.
"Get offa me!" he said and shook Al off.
Al began to cry and MT made eyes at her.
"AHHHHHHHHHHH" shrieked Al and ran away from scary MT.
"Huh?" said MT who did not understand the art of eyemaking.
"OREOS FOR MEEE?" shouted Micky, who was, as usual, LATE.
"HAHAHAHA GOTCHA!" shouted Mike and pogoed into the bathroom where he slipped on milk and went hurdling down the stairs backwards.He flew into Al who smacked her head on one of Micky's antlers in the mad rush for oreos.

"Please to be removing yon selves from Micky now.." said Micky weakly. "Yough.." said Al and got up holding her head.
"AHHHH MICKY TALKS LIKE A STUPID AND MOMMY IS BACK!" said MT and star"AHHH MT what HAPPENED?" asked Al and rubbed her noodle.
"Mommy doesn't have a noodle!" said MT vehemently.
"Oh, scary scary Micky baby kiddie thing...." said Sassip.
"ACK I *DIDN'T*!" shouted Al and stared at Micky and Mike. She giggled stupidly and ran off in a rush.
"WHERE DOES MOMMY TO BE GOING!??!!" shouted MT and ran off after her.
"OOOOOH! OOOH! Its.. its.. a *HAT!*" shouted Mike and put it on.
"Miiiiiiiiiiiikkkkkkkkkkkkkkeeeeeee! You put on your hat!" said Davy.
Mike had fallen on the floor and was getting up. "Ooooooof man, what HAPPENED?" he asked. Then he remembered.
"Oh, I DIDN'T!!!" he shrieked and ran out of there.
"Ahhh my chicken fry buddy is back!" sighed Davy and flipped outta there with a smile on his cute little face.
"WAIT FOR MEEEEEEEEEEEE DAYYYVEEE!!" shouted Sassip and followed her.
"I need burgers." said Peter. "Continuity makes me HUNGRY!"

So they all left, Mike running off to somewhere to hide, Davy following him, Al running off to hide with MT following her, Micky went back to his Oreo shrine, and Sassip following Davy, and BT was left alone. All alone.
"Why am *I* always alone?" she complained.
"AHER!" shouted Mike and pogoed in.
"YOU are not stupid anymore!" BT informed him tetchily.
"OH aher.. uh.. I mean.. uh.. EEP!" shouted Mike and ran out.

The End.

Next Issue: Mike and Davy get stuffed into one person with surprising results! Dundun*DUN*

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