Screech Out And Touch Someone

One night Sassip was pining for the sea and stared out longingly at it.
"MEOW!" she said loudly and scratched at it with her flipper.
"OMIGOSH!?" said Micky and dove for cover.
"Oh oh oh!" said MT and made things sticky.
"TOOOOO MUCH MICKYNESS!" shouted BT and was stickified.
"Haha." said Al and ate raviolios.
"GIMME!" said Davy and punted her.
"YOU CANNOT DO THAT!" shouted Al and flew off.
"MEOW!" said Sassip and scratched at the door again.
"WHYYY!?" shouted Mike and threw shoes at Sassip.
"MIKE! MIKE I HAVE YOUR SHOE!" shouted Sassip excitedly and bounced up and down in place.
"No that's MINE!" said Davy and snatched it.
"MEOW!" said Sassip and resumed scratching.
"WHY is she doing that?!?!!" said Peter. Just then MT ran in and bowled everyone who was standing up over.
"Ugh, I think MT would be better as an actual kid." he muttered.
"Hey, you can do it too!" said Mike who was tired of MT's lip.
"HE does not give you lip!" shouted Al and stalked in furiously.
"MEOW!" said Sassip and wagged her tail, further knocking everyone about.
"Well, he is an actual kid!" said BT stupidly and wagged her tail.
"YOU do not have one!" said Mike pointedly.
"Don't do that." said BT and poofed a tail and wings on Mike.
"URGH NOT AGAIN!" shouted Mike and fell over.
"HEHEHE!" said Micky with glee.
"SHUSH stalkboy!" said Al in malice and made him grow antlers again.
"OH THEY ITCH!" shouted Micky and went to find some young saplings in which to rub off the itchy velvet.

"Why everybody shouutttteeennnggg?" asked MT, sucking on an 8 ball.
"OMIGOSH! WHERE! Where did he get THAT!?" shouted Al and grabbed it from him.
"NO NO NO MOMMY!" shouted MT and bowled her over.
"Oh! I *SHOULD* do something about that!" shouted Peter and turned MT into a little kid.
"But he *IS* already a little kid!" shouted BT from somewhere on the floor.
"No but I turned his body into that of a little kid as well." said Peter pointedly.
"Don't say things pointedly or you end up with a wing and tails." muttered Mike unhappily.
"Uh, you mean tail and wings?" asked Davy.
"Yeh. Let's go!" said Mike and they rolled off, though Mike a little wobbly.
Al's glasses promptly shattered.

"Ugh I just bought these! Why is he all whiney and high pitched!??!" shouted Al.
"HEHEE!" said BT and poked at him.
"GIMME POPS BEEEETEEEE!" shouted MT and shattered BT's glasses as well.
"Micky uh.. did you have the rather annoying capability to shatter glass when you were young?" asked Al.
"No, why?" asked Micky.
"Just wondering." said Al and gave Micky a glass of Coke.
"Oh gee thanks!" said Micky and started to drink it.
"MICKY I WANT SOME THINGY!" shouted MT screechily. The glass broke. Micky was covered in coke.
"Ugh.." said Micky. "I see what you mean." And he rolled off to take a clothes sheeeeeeyower.
"MT honey muffin oats, we don't screen we talk whisperingly." said Al. "BUT BUT BUT MOMMY EVERYONE ELSE WAS SHEEEEYOUTING!" shouted MT and ran around.
"Ugh.." said Al and fell over.
"MT, if you stop shouting I'll give you raviooooolios!" said BT coaxingly.
"Yummyumm!" said MT and sat on the floor with a fork and knife.
"HEY where did he get them?!?!!" asked Al.
"Hehehe I am coaxing young boys." said BT and sauntered off to prepare things.

"Huh, that BT, she has marbles in her head." said Peter. He wandered in and took a can of Micky's Coke.
"NO NO NO!" shouted Micky running in.
"MICKY MICKY MICKY!" shouted MT and ran around.
"NO NO NO!" shouted Al and whonked Micky.
"NOOOOOO!" shouted BT and whonked Al.
"NOOOOOO!" shouted Davy and dove for the chicken fry.
"When did YOU get back!?" asked everyone, gawping. This included Mike for some reason.
"Uh.. Mike? Why are you gawping at me?" asked Davy.
"Oh, I dunno babe, you know how the chicken fries." said Mike with a chuckle and wandered off.
"Ewww Micky is sopping wet." said someone and hung him up to dry.
"SOMEONE IS HERE!" screeched MT with such force that someone was blown out the door.
"Pita Pita Pita I am missing the marbles from which were in my heady mind," BT sang happily.
"Oh my gosh she's regressing! What in blue tarnation my lucky stars shut my mouth WIIIIIIIDE open," remarked Mike stupidly and made a hasty hasty quickness exit go bye-byeeeees dun forget to write sugar cheeks.
"I miss someone... they were good to have around," Al reminisced fondly.
"UGH UGH MY ANTLERS ARE WET AND THEY ITCH MAN!!!" whined Micky until he dried out and then went to unison because nobody ever had in a long time but he found a ghost town because Unison was desertred in 1960 and we dunno why.
"That was really stupid," remarked Davy.
"You were most DEFINITELY not asked," whined BT and kicked him.
"MOMMY MOMMY BEETEEEEEEEE IS KICKING DAAAAAAAAAAAYVEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" wailed MT with such such force force that that... um. With such force that everyone fell down and went BOOM.
"Boom!" said Micky and Mike, re-entering.
"You're LATE," yelled someone.
"SOMEONE WENTY BACK TO MEEE!!" MT yelped happily but someone left hastily again because they were made of glass and were bound to shatter.

"This is stupid. Mute him whilst I ponder," said Al.
"Mute him yourself," said BT and went away to sulk somewhere.
"I have wings," said Mike.
"We know," said people.
"They are feathery," said Mike.
"WE KNOW!!!" said Sassip pronouncedly and sprouted wings and antlers.
"No no you are not allowed to," chided Davy.
"I think Davy would look cute with fins," said BT sweetly.
"WHAT THE HECK?!!" yelled MT.
"OHMYGOSH WHERE DID HE LEARN THAT?!" screeched Al and muted him again.
"I find him disconcerting," announced Micky and ravenously consumed the rest of his Coke stash lest Peter keep steeling it.
"Hey wait... My feathers are not feathery, they are scaly," said Mike proudly.
"NO NO NO!!!!" yelled Peter.
Everyone stared in shock as it was very unlike Peter to burst out in shoutings.
"Whoops, I mistook BT's line bucket for my own," said Peter sheepishly.
"Ouch, please get off," whimpered Peter.
"Oh, he's cute," said BT contently and left.
"I guess that'll teach you not to pilfer other people's linebuckets," said Davy smugly.

"I have scaly wings," Mike said stupidly.
"I think they're taking up the oxygen needed for your brain," remarked Micky.
"My wings require NO oxygen," Mike said huffily.
"Ooooooo!!" said Sassip with admiration and bit off a piece of one of Micky's antlers.
"DON'T DO THAAAAAT!!!!!" he yelled.
"Ow," Al winced. "I know why MT is like that now."
"Mmmm... crunchy!! With a cinnamon aftertaste," Sassip sighed and went to slee.
"Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww," remarked BT in distaste. "LINKY WILL YOU MARRY MEEEEEEEEEEE??!!"
"No," said Link and hid in Sassip's pouch.
"Oh, 'kay," said BT, pilfering the remainder of Micky's coke stash and rolling off to have gigglepot fun fun and sun in the city.
"We'll see about that," said Mike fiendishly.
"TALKY TIMES!!!" MT yelled.
"UGH will you make him stay quiet?!!" yelled Micky.
"He keeps unmuting himself," said Al annoyedly.
"Didn't you figure out a thing to do?" said Sassip, waking up.
"Hey, how did you know to say that if you sleed through your cue?" Mike demanded.
Sassip smirked. "I know all."
"I know Tide!!" Peter said proudly.
"I am funny with my scaly wings, a-derrr," Mike said stupidly.
"Oh he is a hick," remarked Davy.
"MIKE IS HICKY!!" shouted MT.
"OMIGOSH WHERE DID HE LEARN THAT???!!!!" Al screamed and sat on him. No uh she didn't do that... she put him in ... a thing. Yeh.

"I want out now please," MT said sweetly and chewed on his fingers coquettishly.
"AWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!" screeched BT, zooming back into the pad with a string which she dangled in front of MT for about fifteen minutes until she realized he was not a kittycat and therefore had no interest.
"I am not a cat," MT said innocently.
"OH, YEH?! WELL YOU DON'T FOOL ME!!!" said Micky.
"Bye-bye," said MT and screamed a lot.
"Its YOUR fault for being a screechy thing!" accused Al evilly and pointed a finger at Micky. Micky got too close and it went up his nose.
"LKFHAKFHKAHDKJAS!" said Al and Micky and ran off to take a clothes shower. They ended up wrestling for the bathtub and as usual somehow Micky's orea stash got mixed into the fray and they came out covered in oreos.
Just then Mr. Babbit came in and eyed Micky and Al with contempt.

"YOU are not allowed to have those cookie things in this pad!" he shouted.
"How did you know where I kept them!?" asked Micky in horror.
"NOOOOOOO HORROR!" shouted Sassip and flopped about. Al sighed and was fed up with her lip. She turned Sassip into a green cat. Sassip went back to meowing and scratching at the porch door.
"You also aren't allowed to have pets! Especially loud, large green drooly things!" shouted Babbit and gave them the evil eye.
"Thanks, but we already have an evil eye." said BT boredly and threw it away.
"Oh.. well how about the... uh.. pensive eye? No no that's not it.. UGH You Monkees and you.. freaks.. I'll be back with the zoning laws and blah blah blah... blah blah.." screeched Babbit as he walked away, barely containing his anger. They thought they heard a muffled explosion about 1 minute later but they weren't sure.

Meanwhile Micky was munching on his oreo skin and started on Al's but Al did not want to share and punched him on the antlers until he lost his balance and fell over.
"But they are MINE!" shrieked Micky.
"NO! They are mine now!" shouted Al and then realized Micky was shrieking. "AND IT'S YOUR FAULT! IT'S YOUR FAULT MY BABY IS A SHRIEKY THING!"
She pointed a finger again but then remembered the nose incident and quickly retracted it.
"*I* am going to take a clothes shower." she huffed.
"NO NO NO DON'T WASTE THOSE OREOS!" shouted Micky and ran after her but he was too late and had the door slammed in his face.
"Hehe good thing he already has a pug nose." said Davy cutely.
"YOU!" roared Micky and they got into a bit of a tiff.
"OUCH MY EYE!" shouted Davy and fainted dead away.
"Huh?" said Micky in fear.
"HAHA FOOOOLED YOU!" shouted Micky and rammbed Davy in the tush.
"NO NO NO!" shouted Linky.
"OMIGOSH! HOW WHO WHAT?!?!" said BT and stared at the jaunty angle in which Link's hat was perched on his head.
"Mmmmm jaunty angles.." she drooled. Sassip came and joined her. Al would have but she was having trouble with the oreos, since the bathtub was clogged with them, and she decided to take a bath, and forgot and ended up taking an oreo bath.
She stayed in there so long that she turned into an Oreo and ended up running away from Micky for 5 hours til she had the common sense to turn back. BT thought that looked fun, but was horribly let down when her yummy chocolately cookie was bitten into and it hurt alot. Meanwhile, Davy was flopping around on the ground because Peter thought it would be amusing if he was a merman thingy.
"Ugh Peter Peter no!" said Davy and flopped about.
"Oh! MY THINGY DAVY PIE CAKES AND COOKIES IS FLOPPING ABOUT!" shouted Sassip and rubbed against him.
"EWW CAT FUR" shouted Davy and slithered onto the couch to watch some TV.
"Don't you even care?" asked Al, fending off Micky by grabbing his antlers.
"Come on just a *TEENY* bite?" he asked.
"I thought you changed back, Al!" said Peter.
"Nah that's not for another 4 hours." said Al and was calmly munching on some chips.
"CANNIBAL!" shouted BT. "FOOD should NOT eat food!" and she set about Al with teeth and nailfiles.

Anyway, all that insanity was amusing. And I forget what happened. But I think MT was wandering around and Al was bitterly accusing Micky for being a screechy thing in general to which Micky protested in general and BT thought was cute and Micky was annoyed and Davy was twinkly and Mike learned to fly again.
Davy, meanwhile, was sleeing on the couch with Sassipcat on his lap and when he woke up he was so startled with his appearance he flung Sassip with his tail.
"DAVY I THOUGHT YOU LOOOOOVVVEEEDDDDD ME!" she wailed as she flew off.
"I WANT CAT THINGY!" shouted BT and ran off after her.
"Uh, are you sure you want THAT one?" asked Peter.
BT meanwhile had come back all scratched up and spied Micky, still trying futiley to get at Al's sweet sweet chocolatey self. Davy had managed to grab a quick bite and Al had put him into a giant fish bowl with a lid.
But Micky was stuck because of his dumb obtrusive antlers.
"MICKY CAT!" shouted BT and he was one. But she was dumb and couldn't undo the antlers quite right so it ended up being her chased by an antlered cat, who was very tetchy and trying to horn her spleen in.
"OHHH baby is sooooo cuuuuute!!!" BT whined and turned Micky back to his antlered self and made MT a cat instead. Unfortunately he was a really highpitched screechy cat and yowled a lot, so she put him in a cat carrier and fed him tuna snackies.
"You stop that!!! You were not authorized!" Al demanded and turned her baby MT precious cute honey bunches of oats back to his cuddly little self. Ummmmm... yeah.
"She is now," said the author and made BT eat raw antlerfish.
"ANTLERFISH? Oooooohhh..." meowed Sassip and drooled.
"OH NASTYYYY, cat drool!!!" Micky yelled.
"STOP YELLING you are setting a bad example for Cute Thing," BT whined and used Micky as a lovely coat rack.
"I am not a coat rack," said he.
"You are HATRACK!!!!" announced Sassip and jumped up on Micky's head to find a comfy perch betwixt his antlery protrusions.
"Dear heavens me my goodnesses," BT murmured and ssssssslinked off to watch some tellyvision.

Meanwhile Al was consoling MT.
"Now now deary no one gets what they want," she said.
"EVER?!" shrieked MT.
"Uh... well... I got cheese once when I really wanted it," said Al helpfully.
"I'M FLYING!!" said Mike, soaring through two windows MT had blown out with his shrieky childish voice.
Then MT thought it would be funny if Sassip was an elephant so he managed to make her one, and she was one and protested violently and punted things with her trunk and drooled all over everything so MT turned her back.
"Mike is flying!!" said Davy in awe.
"Awwwwwwwww," said Peter.
"No no, AWE," Davy corrected him.
"No, I was aw-ing at MT. He is so naive and stupid," Peter giggled.
"THOSE BOTH WERE MY LINES YOU LINE-STEALING CAD!!!" BT yelped and set about beating Peter with her umbrella.
"MIIIIIIIIIIIIKE!!!" he yelped.
"Here I come to save the daaaaay!" Mike said in a deep manly tone, zooming through the window, seizing Peter in his talons and carrying him to safety.
"Hey, Mike doesn't have any talons," said Micky suspiciously.
"He does now," beamed Davy and swam about.

"Hey hey hey there are hats on my antlers!!" Micky said.
"Oh, he just noticed," Link said sarcastically and hung his hat on them.
"Ooooo, you know I think maybe that the jaunty angle of Micky's antlers are superior... is superior... are? is superior to that of Linkypie's hat but I'll have to check," said BT and made Link wear a lot of hats. "I don't want a hat," said MT suspiciously.
"Ohh, he is suspicion," said Al and wiped a maternal tear of pride from her eye.
"Well where else would you wipe it from? There are no tears in your appendix," Sassip pointed out.
"You weren't asked," said Davy.
"Oh he is a sea thing like me," Sassip said wistfully.
"You are a cat," Peter reminded her.
"ARGH!" said Sassip and scratched people a lot. "I thought MT turned me back..."
"He turned you back into a cat," said Peter and poofed her into her large, green, obtrusive seabeastie self.
"OH I am MEEEE!!! Thank you Peter dearest shnookums pie pie fun in the oven," she said and ate him.
"MOOMYYYYYY!!!" yelped MT and hid.
"Moomy?" said Link in confusion. "Hey hey stop with the haaaats!!"
"But but but the jauntiness-" BT began.
Link sighed and took his own hat from Micky's antlers, because it was threatening to beat up Mike's hat, who was eyeing the Hat with the thing.

"I love pants." sighed Al stupidly.
"Meeee too." said Mike, who had alighted next to her cookie self and was nibbling at the edge of her cream.
"OOH YOU!" shouted Al and kicked at him.
"Hey, what's a cookie doing with arms and legs!? That's no fair!" shouted Mike and huffed off, outraged by this travesty.
"No fair my filling!" shouted Al after him. She still hadn't the smarts to change back though.
"But you said 5 hours and its only been 4." said Al.
"Riiighht.." said the author and made Mike eat raw hedgefish.
"UGH I *TOLD* YOU NOT TO GIVE *THAT* AUTHOR LIP ANYMORE!" shouted Mike and was forced out to his watery dinner.
He would avenge his stomach later.

Meanwhile, BT had shellacked Micky with a nice mahogany finish and was arranging him near the door.
"BT KNOCK IT OFF!" he shrieked.
"SHHHHHH MT is about!" said BT and kicked him in the shin.
"OUCH!" shouted Micky and tried to horn her in the eye but she was too short and he misjudged the distance and instead went entirely over her head, rolled over her completely and landed on Peter.
"Micky.. Micky your.. my.. my ear.. Micky remove your antler from my ear PLEASE!" said Peter.
"Sorry.." mumbled Micky and got up groggily. He laid down on the couch and took a nap. When he awoke, there was garland strung about him and pretty red and gold and green Christmas balls.
"*I* AM NOT A COATRACK OR A CHRISTMAS TREE OR OR OR OR OR A LIGHTSWITCH OR ANYTHING!" shouted Micky and huffed off, spewing tinsel everywhere. "Psshh.. LIGHTSWITCH?! I bet he went to a fishfry nasty nasty.." muttered Mike.
"NOOOOOOO FISHFRIES ARE NECTARS OF POSEIDON!" shouted Sassip and attempted to punt Mike but he flew out of her reach and snigged at her. "UGH!" said Sassip, but was over come with the need to punt, so she punted Al who rolled off down to the beach and came back covered in sand and seaweed. Suffice to say no one wanted to eat her and the 5 hours were up so she turned back into herself.
Meanwhile, MT was sitting around quietly watching the plot not revolve around himself.
"Time for me!" he thought and got up at long last to take his rightful place in this tale.
"Uh oh.." everyone muttered and watched him approach.


"OH.. my.. baby.." said Al and fell over cause she was deaf.
"OH OH OH WHAT!? WHAT DID YOU SAY!?" shrieked Mike.
"OH MY FISHBOWL!" shouted Davy as it was cracking and leaking everywhere.
"NOOO DOn"T GET MY ANTLERS WET!" shouted Micky and ran around stupidly.
"Oh man.." sighed Peter and decided he should change MT back soon.
"You darn tootin' better well have!" shouted Al and fainted again.
"MOMMY GO FAINTY BYEBYES??!!!!" yelled MT uncertainly.
"Yes dear Mommy cookie went all sleepies," said Link as he was really beginning to figure out the lingo of these weird... things.
"I am not a cookie now," said Al stupidly, waking up only to faint again.
"LINK is my new mommy!!!" said MT and threw his arms around Link's legs in pure kiddie rapture *dundunDUN*!!
"I should change him back soon," said Peter.
"No no wait wait the story isn't quite long enough! We need some filler," protested Davy.

"MICKY MICKY MICKY, c'mere I decided your antlers were at a more jaunty and tantalizing angle than Link's hat - sorry Link I don't mean to hurt your feelings but you just don't measure up - Now then I went to JC Penney to pick out drapes, I narrowed it down to four kinds and I need your opinion-" BT rambled.
"THAT'S ENOUGH!!!!!!" yelled Davy.
"Help," said Micky and hid in a dumpster not far from the pad.
"There are no dumpsters near the pad," said Mike suspiciously.
"Oh, for cryin' out loud, enough with the suspicion!!!" said Sassip.
"That was unlike you," said Davy in a hurt tone.
"-and the floral pattern is sort of a nasty color but I think it would work depending on what kind of wallpaper we had and whether we had blinds or a curtain, or-" BT continued, despite the fact that Micky had long since gone away to hide in Mike's eyrie deep in the cliffs of... somewhereorother.
"Oh I went there last year, they have really really overpriced snowcones," Peter remarked.
"If there's one thing I can't STAND, it's overpriced snowcones..." griped Mike in a strained tone.
"Oh wait, I gotta turn MT back, we can continue this conversation later," said Peter and made MT his six-foot self.
"I AM ME I AM ME MOMMY MOMMY I AM ME!!!" said MT and jumped up and down on her.
"Ooouffghgh," Al protested and cracked right down the middle (someone turned her back into a cookie, although we aren't sure who. We think maybe it was Peter...).
"OREOS FOR EVERYONE!!!" Micky shrieked and was rabid.
"Ewwwww stop stop stop!!!" said Al and made herself herself but then she was in two pieces but then she wasn't because she fixed her and went to play with Tinkertoys with MT.
"Micky I'm so glad you're back, I need to know what kind of-" BT started but Sassip sat on her because somehow or other she was herself again, we think Peter fixed her, we aren't really sure.
"It was ME!!!" shouted Al.
"Oh, well... Okay," said Sassip agreeably and punted people right and left until there was nobody left in the Pad but her and poundcake.


Next Issue: Sassip pines for her old beau. During the meanwhile, Micky will molt and Mike will try feathers but he will molt too and Sassip will meow again and no-one will know why and Davy will be at home in the seaaaa under the.. oh nevermind and andandand Al will not be a cookie cause cookies in the sea are nasty and BT will probably still be on about the drapes and Link will snigg and keep his hat all to himself.

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