Oh my gosh
Never Underestimate The Power Of A
Baked Pickle, Fish & Lasagna Sandwich

One day, everyone was fooling around in the pad, like they usually did, and Al & BT showed up, like they usually did.
Micky held up one hand and said, "BT...don't even think about it."
BT stared at him innocently and jumped behind Al, who rolled her eyes.
Mike looked up from the corner, where he was restringing his guitar. "Hey, you two. Davy, do we have any extra guitar picks? Mine keep mysteriously disappearin'."
Davy thought for a second. "Nope, I don't think so."
"Hold on," said BT. "I've got some," she said, and promptly poofed out. But she hadn't been gone for more than a second when she suddenly came back.

"OUCH!" she cried.
"What's wrong?" asked Al.
"I don't know ... it's like I got smacked in the face, or something! I'll try again, maybe I forgot something," said BT, and popped out again. Again, she snapped back into view, and fell backwards.

"I don't understand!!!" said BT. "It's like the gate isn't there!!"
"You did go in the purple one, right?" Micky asked, recalling that there had been some confusion about the gates a few stories ago.
"YEEEESSSSS, I went in the PURPLE one," snapped BT.
"Sheesh, I was just ASKIN'," Micky said under his breath.

"Let me give it a try," said Al, who was considerably more careful, and figured BT was just forgetting something. But when she snapped back, too, she got a little worried.
"Ummm, it looks like BT's right - it is like the gate's not there."
"I told you!!" said BT, who promptly went into hysterics & wound up attached to Micky, hiding.

"Peter...what happened to the gate?" asked Al.
Peter looked confused. "What gate?"
"There are two gates we use to get in and out of your mind, and one is missing," Al explained patiently.
Peter looked at her dumbly and scratched his head.
"Oh, well Peter doesn't know about them I guess." Al said.
"I wonder why they aren't there?" BT wondered aloud.

"Ahhhh.. well.. they can't stay HERE..." Micky said.
"Yeh, where would they sleep?" Davy shrugged.
"Listen guys, we can't just turn them out onto the street! We have to figure out how to get them home. But in the meantime they can sleep with Peter." Mike said.
"Why me!?" Peter asked.
"Because they're YOUR figments!" Davy said.

They all sat around in silence for a while trying to think.
"Man, I wish I was back at our pad. I want my pickle, fish and lasagna sandwich I set to bake before we left..." BT said out loud. Her stomach was rumbling.
"Eww BT do you have to talk about that.. MESS you call food?" Al said. And turned green.
"But I'm hungry and the guys never have anything good to eat!" said BT. Al promptly nudged her hard in the ribs.
"YEOWCH!" screeched BT. Micky and Davy giggled and Al looked very stern.
"Mind yer manners, girlie!" she whispered through clenched teeth.

Even for a figment BT was rather ill-mannered at times.
Al had taught her a good bit and she was catching on but she was still a pretty young figment and was sometimes a little rowdy. (Okay, A LOT of times.)
Al bounced around the room a bit.

"Well, we'd might as well make the best of it!" she said.
BT just made a face and sulked.
Davy and Mike went to the kitchen and realized that BT's assessment of their cupboards was pretty right, and Micky was staring at the wall.

"I wonder how my hamsters are getting on," BT remarked.
"What are they named?" asked Peter.
"One of them is named Micky, and the other one is named Dolenz."
"WHAT?!" shrieked Micky. "You named HAMSTERS after me???"
"Yes, " said BT, and burst into giggles.
Micky sighed, went to the kitchen, crawled into an empty cupboard and shut the door.

Just then, the phone rang.
Davy went to answer it but Micky tripped him and he couldn't get up because Peter ran to get it and tripped over Davy. Micky and BT were rolling on the floor and Al went to help Peter and Davy up. By the time anyone got to the phone, it stopped ringing.
"Aw man that could have been important!" Mike whined.
Everyone stared at Micky.
"Sorry guys!" he chuckled.

Al and BT began to pace the floor, with Al periodically popping in and out to see if the gate was back.
"Peter.. TRY to envision the gate in your imagination." Al sighed.
Peter tried hard but nothing happened. Peter tried again. Al tried again. Still nothing.
Al sat down in a huff.

Suddenly BT ran out the door and down to the beach. And then she ran back with a crab.
"COOK IT FOR ME AL!" she said holding it out.
"I can't BT! First of all its a BABY crab, second of all I don't know how to REALLY cook in the real world, and third of all... you're allergic to crab!!" Al said.

BT looked forlorn and gave the crab to Davy, who proceeded to get nipped by it.
"YEOWCH!" Davy shrieked and threw the crab at Peter by accident.
The crab latched onto Peter's nose and instead of remaining calm, he started running about screaming "GET IT OFF ME!!!"
Finally Mike and Micky managed to grab him and hold him down long enough for Davy to snatch it off.
Al rubbed her face with her hands and then said "BT... don't do that again huh?"
BT looked sheepishly at Peter. But Peter though it was funny, despite his sore nose and was laughing.

After that little adventure, they sat around some more and just thought and though. All 6 of them shared the crab which Mike managed to cook up. However, it was so small that they might as well have not had it at all.
"We need food!" cried Micky, rubbing his stomach.
"YES!" shouted BT in full agreement.
Al grabbed her shirt and pulled her back down again.
BT sat down, sulked & started chewing on her hair. But suddenly, she wasn't there at all.

"Hey, maybe she's found a way to get back in my mind!!" said Peter.
"OOH!!" cried a voice which sounded suspiciously like BT's.
Suddenly Micky stood up and started freakin. "Whoa, what...man, I couldn't see for a second!"
Everyone stared at him.
"Well, I couldn't!!!"
Then BT appeared behind him, and she walked straight through Micky. "I'm insubstantial!" she shouted gleefully.

"Oh, BT, quit foolin' around!" said Mike.
BT chewed on her hair some more, and turned back into regular substantial visible BT.
"What," said Al, "may I ask, was the point of that?"
BT thought for a minute, and said, "I don't know."

Al sighed and then remembered something.
"BT! Did you lock the portal again!?" Al said.
BT looked up. "No, did you?"
"Might have. Lemme check." said Al poofing out. When she didn't return right away, BT popped out as well.
All the Monkees looked around but there wasn't a trace of them.

"Hey! They went home!" said Peter happily.
They all sighed.
Al and BT popped back in again and everyone held their breaths.
"We're back in!" they announced. The portal somehow shut by accident... all we had to do was use the key! It had locked. We're not sure how."

BT was munching on a rather odd smelling sandwich. Micky looked at her and helped himself.
"Hey, this ain't half bad!" he said as he munched away.
"Don't talk with your mouth full!" Davy said.
"Sorry!" Micky said with a mouth full of food.
Mike sighed. "Well, back home for you guys I guess!"
"Yup!" said Al happily, looked at Micky and BT in disgust and then dragged BT away.

"Come on. I gotta get some sleep!" she yawned.
"Awwww but what about the food!" Micky whined. "I'm hungry!!"
"We'll bring you one of those 'disgusting' things tomorrow. Seeya guys!" said BT.
They then popped out.

A few minutes later Al popped in again without BT.
"She's getting a shower, so PLEASE take this! It's making me sick!" said Al, shoving the sandwich at Micky.
Micky smiled happily and began munching away.

Next Issue: Al inherits the ability to fool around with matter in the real world.

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