Reality Never Dies
( just lingers on and on forever...kinda like matter.
But this isn't like a science lesson so let's leave it at that)

One day...
"It isn't daytime," said Mike.
One night...
"It's only 7:30," said Peter.


One evening Davy & Micky were fencing, using Al & BT (respectively) for foils. (How they happened to agree to this little bit of silliness, no-one is quite sure.) After having had their heads whacked together a few too many times, the silly figmental girl people decided this was not such a good idea, & promptly fell down on the floor. "My eyebrows, I can't move my eyebrows," said BT. "Your EYEBROWS?!" said Davy. "You were supposed to say, 'I can't move your eyebrows either.'" Davy gave her a puzzled look.

"Okay, if you have to fence, why don't you use some of Micky's drumsticks," Al said evilly.
"Aw, those aren't long enough," Micky whined.
"Oh, stop whinging," Al said, & picked up two drumsticks...but they only stayed drumsticks for a second.

Al looked shocked and dropped them.
"Ooohhh..... did I do that!?" she said, like some little annoying Urkel thing that would not be invented for at least another 30 years or so.
Micky and Davy both looked at her oddly.
"I don't know!" Davy said. He picked up one of the foils and tested it tentatively against BT.
"Seems real enough to me!" he said, shrugged and dropped it.
"ME TOO!" shrieked BT. He had dropped it on her foot.

Micky snapped his fingers.
"Hey hey, why don't you try turning this newspaper into some grub!" he said. They were out of money and Micky was starved.
Al picked up the paper and transformed it into a fabulous turkey dinner.
"I'm afraid to try it..." Micky said, thinking again.
"I know, let's get Peter!" Davy said. He ran off and fetched Peter. Peter took one look at the turkey and was all over it.
"MMMPH! This is GOOD!" he said, shoving mouthfuls of meat and potatoes into his mouth.

Davy and Micky tried some as well and found that it was the best food they'd ever tasted.
"WOW! How'd you do that AL?" Micky said. He was grinning from ear to ear and had to loosen his belt because he over stuffed himself.
Davy went to find some floss and Peter went out for a swim. Consequently he returned 10 minutes later with horrible cramps.
"I don't know." Al said.
BT was jumping around like a nut and Al was getting annoyed.
"Hey! BT, knock it off! What are you, a grasshopper? Sheesh!" said Al, regretting it immediately. For BT WAS a grasshopper.

"HEY! TURN ME BACK!" she said, turning greener and hopping up and down madly.
Micky chuckled and grabbed her carefully.
"You'd better stay in here." he said, dropping her into a big jar.
"NONO LEMME OUT!" she cried, but she couldn't hop up high enough.
Micky threw in some left overs and put a towel and rubber band over the neck.
"That'll keep ya safe for a while." he said, still chuckling.
BT turned even MORE green and made evil faces at Al and Micky.

Davy walked in a little later and saw BT in the jar.
"What's with that grasshopper, Micky?" he asked.
"Its BT. Al turned her into a grasshopper."
"WHAT?! Uh.. I think I'll go upstairs and sleep." Davy said, backing away slowly.
Al was futilely trying to turn BT back. "It's no use!" she said frustrated.
"Here, try with the foils." Davy said.
Al took them and concentrated hard. Unfortunately, it backfired, and Micky turned into a drumstick.

"Hmmm that didn't seem to work." Al said.
"AL YOU TURN HIM BACK NOW!" said BT from the jar.
"I CAN'T!" said Al.
Davy was skedaddling up the stairs as fast as his lil legs would carry him.
"Hey Davy! Cool it!" Al yelled, before realizing what she said. She quickly covered her mouth, but Davy had turned into a snowman.
"Oh AL! Look what you did!" he said, his mouth made out of coal in a definite frown.
"Oh dear.... I..." but Mike had walked in.

"WHAT IN BLUE TARNATION..." he shrieked.
Micky the Drumstick wiggled around. "MIKE SAVE MEEEE!" he shrieked.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU!? At least you aren't melting!!" Davy said, bouncing around.
"SO WHAT! AT LEAST YOU AREN'T GREEN! BLECK!" said BT, sticking out her little grasshopper mandibles. "AND YOU DON'T HAVE MANDIBLES!" she said, grossing herself out.
"!" Mike said, and sat down, as he looked a bit unsettled.

Just then Peter walked in, with a chocolate popsicle. "Hi! How come you're a grasshopper and a drumstick and a snowman?"
"We're having some problems with my mental abilities," said Al dryly.
"Oh....well....maybe everything'll just fix itself," Peter said hopefully.
"Yeah, right, and I'm a-"
"DON'T!!!" BT shrieked.
"-giant frilled lizard," Al finished.
"Ohman..." Micky muttered.
For Al was, of course, a giant frilled lizard.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!" BT cried, & tried to hide under the bits of food in her jar, because Al was staring at her hungrily. "I'm BT Al, don't EAT me, it'd be STUPID!! Sheesh!"
"Oh, right...uh...I'm a frilled lizard!!!"
"Oh, you're very perceptive," Mike said. "Just don't call anyone anything else, or tell anybody to do anything, or...just don't SAY anything..."
"I can't not say anything, how can I not say anything, I couldn't SAY anything!!" cried Al, who was starting to panic.
"Man, can someone do somethin' about this soon?" Davy burbled from the corner in which he was melting. "I mean, it's all very well for Al to be a frilled lizard with a purple frill who wants to eat BT...the lizard not the frill I mean...but I'm MELTING!!!!"

Peter grabbed Davy up and shoved him in to the icebox.
"PEEETTEEEERRRR!" he was screaming as Peter shut the door.
They could still hear Davy mumbling from the freezer.
"Oh well. So... what to do... man I'm a bit peckish.." Al was mumbling to herself. Before she realized it, a giant bird also appeared and began pecking at her.
"WEEEOOOCCHHH!!" she cried and flew into Mike's arms. Unfortunately Al was a GIANT lizard and therefore knocked Mike over.
"MIKE! YOU GOTTA DO SOMETHING!" Al shrieked and she scrambled all over the pad.
Mike picked up Micky and hurled him at the bird.
"Ooops, sorry Mick, I forgot." said Mike.
But the bird ran away as the end of Micky poked him in the eye.

Al was sitting in front of the freezer with the door open a crack talking to Davy.
"Yeh, Davy, I wish there was something I could do man" she said.
"Its a drag!" Davy was crying.
"Yeh, a stone drag..." said Al. And Davy turned into a paperweight.
"Oh. Goodie." he said unhappily.
"Hey, look on the bright side!" said Al. Davy turned into a lamp.
"STOP DOING THAT!" said Davy. He was obviously frazzled.
"Davy's obviously frazzled." said BT.
"Yes, and I'm frilled!" said Al. "But man, you really ARE a stone drag, Davy, with all that yelling and stuff." Al said, promptly turning Davy back into a paperweight. It was the only time she would change someone into the same thing twice. But at least he wasn't a snowman again!

"Uh, well, now, first off. Find some tape." said Mike, who tried grabbing Al. Al, using her instincts, frilled up and hissed at Mike, causing him to back up.
"Uh, listen Al, we gotta um, keep you from talking and turning us into things!" said Mike.
"Ah, you're such a hothead!" said Al.
Mike promptly turned into a hot poker.
"OH AL!" he said. He promptly turned and burned Davy on the tush.
"YEEEOOOCCHH!" said Davy, even though he was a rock paperweight. "What'd you go and do that for Mike?" he whimpered.
"Sorry, Davy, thought you were Al."

Micky the drumstick hopped over to Mike the Hotpoker and decided not to get too close as he was made of wood.
Micky the drumstick then fell over onto Davy the rock, who was having trouble moving since paperweights are generally supposed to stay in one place.
"GET OFF MICKY! I can't move as it is!" he said.
"AL! CHANGE US BACK NOW!" said Mike.
Al picked up Micky and Davy and put them over by BT in the jar.
Then she picked up Mike and placed him on a fire.
Then she curled up in a patch of sun and promptly went to sleep.
Everyone was afraid of her saying something so no one woke her up.

"I say, that we trick her into talking up back into human!" said Mike."But HOW?" said Micky.
"I don't know about you guys, but I'm aching all over!" said Davy. He rolled his eyes. He had those little wiggly eyes that things have sometimes.
So did Mike and Micky, consequently. I don't know if they were invented yet, but at any rate, they had those sort of fake eyes, though they weren't so fake.
Mike got himself out of the fire. "I can wake her up..." he said evilly, and had a silly smile on his pokerself.
"OOOOH Mike you wouldn't!" said Peter, who hadn't been changed yet. He smiled sillily and everyone was mad at him.
"Peter you.. you....OOH.." said Micky, and he hit Peter on the hand. "Hey ouch! Micky! Man, just cause you got problems..."
But Davy was irritable and flung himself at Peter's forehead.

"OUCH okay guys. I'll try and think of a way..." Peter said. he didn't want to incur the wrath of Mike.
BT hopped up and down frantically. "SOMEONELEMMEOUTNOWSOMEONELEMMEOUTNOW!" she was screaming.
Al began twitching in her sleep and Micky hammered the jar til BT shut up.
"SHHHH! We have to think of something! She might turn us into air or ... something." he said, shuddering.
BT shut up and she banged pleadingly on the glass. Davy hurled himself at the jar (that was the extent of his mobility) and bashed a good sized hole in it. Then he rolled his eyes.
"Ouch. That hurts." he said as is eyes continued to roll around.
"Yeh mine too!" said Micky.
Micky and Davy just sat there as their eyes rolled round and round.
"OUCHHCHCHC!" they said.
BT hopped around happily and accidentally jumped up on Mike's head.
"YEOWWWCCHHH!" she screeched.

Al woke up and rubbed her eyes sleepily.
"Ah, what;'s all the racket, BT?" she said, turning BT into a tennish racquet.
"ERGH AL!" BT shrieked and went at Al with a passion. Unfortunately her eyes began to roll as well.
"OUCH IT DOES HURT!" she cried out, standing still.
So now BT, Davy's and Micky's eyes were rolling around funnily.
"GUYS! Quit it!" said Mike. They tried to look at him but it was really hard and dizzifying.

"Mike, ugh, why aren't your eyes spinning round and round?" Davy asked, getting nauseous.
Mike smirked. "You think they call us plastic now, babe, but you wait 'til I get through tellin' 'em how we do it, ah?"
BT made the worst face. "What in the WORLD is that supposed to mean?!"
Mike's smirk disappeared. "I dunno, I, forget it."
"Man, Al," said Micky in mid eye-roll, "couldja at least turn us into something with real eyes?"
"Willya put a lid on it, I'm tryin' to think of something!" Al said. Micky turned into a Tupperware container.
"AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!! MY WORST NIGHTMARE!!!" Micky screeched, and started fooping about trying to move.
"TUPPERWARE PARTY!!!" screamed Al.
"NO," said everyone in unison.
"I've never been to it nice?" Peter remarked, coming down the stairs.
"Your fingers are chocolatey," Davy said.

Peter stared for a minute. "Oh, it must've been the chocolate popsicle. I'll go wash my hands!" he announced cheerfully, and tromped back upstairs.
"And use plenty of soap!" Al called after Peter.
"Soap?" said Davy.
"Soap..." said Micky.
"Soap...soap..." Mike said, as if entranced.
"Soooooap," BT said dreamily, and fell asleep. ( should be noted...her eyes quit rolling.)

Suddenly, there was a little tiny sound. "Aaaaaahhhhhhhh..."
"'Ey...shhh...d'you 'eah that?" Davy said.
Everyone was quiet for a minute. "Yeah...yeah I do..." said Micky with the funny rolling eyes.
The sound continued. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..."
"Hey, it's getting louder," said hot-poker Mike, with stationary eyes.
"AaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" BT & Peter both cried at BT the tennis racket was hit by Peter, the bar of Zest soap.
"She's zestfully clean!" cried Micky the Tupperware.
Peter sort of shlooped off her & settled in a soapy mess, with funny eyes shaped out of soap. "Um...Al? Why...why...what...who..."

"OOPS.." said Al covering her snout.
"OOPS!?!?!?" said the others. They knew what happened.
"Whoargh, Davy, your eyes are making me dizzy..." said Al, and she turned into a top that was spinning round and round.
"Oh crap" she was heard to say.
Everyone gasped and shut their eyes tight, but happily nothing happened.
Al looked at them all (well it was REALLY hard as now she had spinny eyes AND she was spinning fastly on top of that). "What? I don't.. OOOH oops!" she said.
"Man, I wish Davy was back to his old self. Those eyes...." said Al.And POP! Davy was himself.

"YEAH!" he shouted and whooped and ran around until Mike burned him in the bum again.
"YEARGH!" he shouted and whooped and ran around.
"Okay Al, now, come on turn us all back!" said Mike excitedly. He was so excited he was burning white and Micky feared for his life.
"HA! How do YOU like it?" Davy asked him with a smug look on his face."Oh shaddup" Micky grimmaced.
Davy carefully moved Micky away from Mike, trying to stop Micky's eyes from rolling too much. It really was annoying.
"Whoops, gotta burp you!" Davy snickered, lifting up Micky's lid.
"Hehehe sorry Mick, had to do it."
Davy decided then to beat it upstairs.
"DON'T MENTION ME AT ALL!" he shouted running up and shutting the door to the bedroom.

Mike was glowing hotter and hotter by the minute. "HURRY AL!" he said.
Al the spinning top kept getting a half view of Mike.
"Whaaa? I can't hear you!" said Al.
"I.............can'!" said Mike.
Al looked puzzled. Of course no one could see her as she was spinning around and around.
"What Mike? I am puzzled.. OH FOOP!" she cried as she turned into a jigsaw.
"Wow! 5000 pieces!" said Peter Soap.

"KWUHELIAHLHASDJKDBLJKABLSNKJAJDGALKDB!" said Al, chucking 500 of her pieces at Peter. It just managed to get her soapy and 350 of her pieces slid around the table.
"Yeh, she's falling to pieces.. literally!" BT was giggling. "Gee, Al you're usually.. MORE TOGETHER BWAHAHAHHA!"
Al sighed and looked evilly at BT. Her "face" was all together but the rest of her "body" was scattered and strewn about like so many snowflakes.
BT started whacking pieces of Al across the room.
"WARGH!" cried Al as one of her pieces hit Mike.
Peter slid over to Micky and giggled. "Davy burped you." he said.
Micky sighed. "PETER! That was SO ten minutes ago!" he said.
"Man, I wish Mike were here!" Al cried.

Suddenly Mike miraculously changed back.
"YAY!" cried Al.
"Ooh, change me next!" said Peter.
"Uh.. I wish Peter were back to normal!" said Al and Peter was.
"And Micky should be back to normal too!" said Al. Micky poofed back too.
"AND BT AND ME!" said Al but only BT changed.

"Darn darn I wish I had it more together!" said Al and she assembled into a nice picture of a sunset with googly eyes and a mouth.
"Hmmm not quite what I meant." she thought aloud.
Then she closed her eyes TIGHT and concentrated HARD. So hard, in fact, that a piece flew out of her and hit Mike.
Then she was back the way she was, standing on the table.
"DAVY! You can come down now!" she called. "I think I have the hang of it! Watch!" she said, turning Peter into a king and then back again. She created a fish tank on the table and turned Davy and Micky into fish. Then back again.
"ALLLL! STOP IT!" cried Mike. Al looked at him and turned everything back to normal, including the drumsticks.

"AAAHHHHHH WE'RE FINALLY BACK TO NORMAL!!" shrieked BT, who started doing cartwheels & somersaults all over the furniture.
"Man...there's been more changing around here than in a vending machine," Micky said.
Mike rolled his eyes, happy to be able to do so without incredible irritation.
"Peter?" said Davy, staring intently. "You've still got chocolate on your fingers."
"You'd think the soap would've cleaned it off," Mike said.
"Al?" said BT, tugging on her sleeve. "C'n we go home now? I wanna sandwich."
"What kind?"
"YOU know."
Al sighed. "YOU have to make it. I personally wouldn't mind a shower after all that...YEESH."
So they went & had a shower and a sandwich.
THE END, tra-la.

Next Issue: BT develops the biggest crush (on Micky of course) known to anyone, where she falls through the floor and melts and blows up when even the M of his name is mentioned.

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