That Guy With The BPFL's A
Bit Effeminate, Isn't He?

One night Peter was having a very odd dream. It involved three pink elephants, Davy in a tutu, Micky in army boots and a gingham dress, Mike was in it but not (You know how dreams are!) and Al and BT were boys. Actually Al and BT were kind of like Peter and Mike but kept switching between Peter and Mike and Al and BT but Al and BT were always boys and it was weird. You know how dreams are.
Anyway, come morning Peter woke up and didn't think anything of it but out of his ear came a VERY loud shriek. Peter fainted from the loudness of it.
"How... what?" said Davy, who was in the bed next to him and heard it.

Inside Peter's mind BT was practically strangling Al who was sleeping soundly through it all.
"AAALLLL AALLL WAKE UP WAKE UPPPPPP!!!" shouted BT and began to whonk Al and stuff. Al opened an eye and saw a guy bouncing on her and freaked out and ran away.
"AALLL IT'S MEEEEE!!!" shouted BT. Then Al shrieked loudly and Davy looked around confusedly.
Al and BT ran around in a panic and occasionally into each other so hard they went right through each other.
"WHAT THE HEEECCKKK!?!?!?" shouted Al and rolled around on the floor.
BT was crying in the corner. Being guys they looks more like guys than girls but still looked like themselves. But they both had shorter hair and Al was taller cause she was 20.
BT was taller too. Because she was still growing, but was a good age to be tall. Oh. I dunno why I said that. Anyway.
Finally Al and BT calmed down enough to poof out. Davy shrieked.

"Davy... you're not a girl..." said Mike.
Davy looked around and prissed with his hair. "Oh... right," he said and went and brushed his teeth because he was bored. Mike stared at Al and BT. "They look like someone I know..." said he.
"OMIGOSH!" said Micky. "IT CAN'T BE!"
"AL!? BT!?" said Peter in astonishment.
"PETER WHAT DID YOU DO TO MEEE!?" shouted BT and lunged for Peter's neck but Al held her back.
"AL LEMME GO I WANT TO KIILLL!" she shouted.
Micky hid under his blankets which wasn't very effective as there was a LARGE lump under his blankets where anyone would tell there was a Micky under there.
Davy came back and looked freaked.
Mike was tentatively poking Al.
"Don't do that," she said and unleashed BT.
BT ran around stupidly and broke things because she wasn't used to being tall and foopy.
Then she attempted to jump on Micky but he had a periscope and saw her coming and ran away.

"So... you're Al and BT..." he said, hiding behind a curtain.
"YESSSSSSS Peter did something to us in his sleep man..." said Al. She was trying to tie back her hair because it kept falling into her eyes but it was too short.
"Why on earth did my hair get shorter?" she asked.
"Uh... cause I dreamed you were guys and your hair was short..." said Peter sheepishly.
"Oh dear..." said Al who was about 5'8" and towering over Davy.
Davy was scared and hid with Micky.

"How come I'm so tall?" asked Al, tripping and falling on her tush.
"Because I dreamed..."
"Oh, gotcha..." said Al. She fidgeted around in her pants because they were too short. "You guys got any bigger clothes I can borrow?"
"DUH You can poof some on!" said Mike.
"Oh right!" said Al and happily poofed on some bigger clothes. Luckily her clothes never looked very girlish so it didn't matter, but it might have since Al wasn't thinking of looking too girlish as a guy.
BT was squished in her clothes.
Al laughed at her stupidly and everyone went downstairs to eat their morning poundcake.

"Gee. I sure am thankful we have morning poundcake," said Peter chewing thoughtfully.
"'Ey that's mine Mike, gimme that," said Davy.
"No, this is my morning poundcake."
"No, look, I put mine where you got that from or something," said Davy casting a confused glance at the dialogue.
"No, look right here on the menu - my poundcake."
"No no don't you start that," said Micky and hit them both with a gavel.
"Nooo that's MY gag," Mike said disgustedly.
"HE CAN USE IT IF HE WANTS TOOO," said BT & choked violently on her poundcake because you can't yell & eat at the same time. "Has everyone finished their poundcake?" said Al.
"No, my morning poundcake consumption has not yet completed itself in its entirety thing thing thingy," said Sassip.
"Hmm I liked you better when you rarely said things," said Mike & poked her with a stick.
"Ugh nono," said Sassip & bit his hat.
"OWWWWW!!!" Mike winced in agony & clutched at his hat.
"Uhhh...okay..." said BT & almost clinged to Micky but her newfound guyishness prevented her.
"Oh good grief," said Micky & calmly stepped on her on the way to the fridge, thus making her let out a high squeaky thing.
"UGH what was that?? OH NOOO," said BT. "My voice is cracky like foopy adolescent guy things!! Can I sing??" she said & tried but everyone got sick & lost their poundcake so she didn't do that anymore.

"Alright," said Al after she had poofed up Antacid tablets for everyone. "Peter has to dream about us bein' girls or somethin' foopy like that 'cause we hate this," she said matter-of-factly.
"Gee, I wanna watch some FOOTBALL!!!!" she added. "Ugh, what did I say that for. I dun. Ugh."
BT stared at her & then danced around muttering something about poached beans.
"Oh I dunno it might not be so bad you bein' guys...Davy won't get all foopy & Al won't get all foopy and, most importantly, BT won't get all foopy," Micky said.
BT looked absolutely horrified. "MICKY!!!" she said in a shrill tone but her voice cracked so Micky giggled and pointed.
"Oh no...what's gonna happen when-" Peter started, but MT came bouncing in cheerfully.
"Hi! Where's Moooommyyyy and who're the guy peoples?" he said, staring wide-eyed.
"Oh gosh...Micky you're his father you tell him," said Mike.
"No I'm not!" said Micky.
"No he's not!!" said MT. "Hmm....I think YOU are my daddyyyyy 'cause you look like AAALLL MOMMMYYY," said MT latching onto Al.
"Uh...yeah sure sweetie kid thing..." Al said in distress.
"Who're YOOOOU?" said MT cutely at BT.
"Ugh...I'm BT but PETER made us GUYS," she said in disgust.
MT blinked & hid in Al's hat.
"I don't have a hat," she said.
"Oh, uh-oh," said MT & hid under Al's feet.
Al fell over as she was freaky tall and didn't like ppl standing under her anyway.

"Daddddyyy!" shouted MT. "Where's Mommy?"
"*I* am remember!?" said Al.
"Oh, I forgot," said MT picking her up.
But she was too heavy as she was a guy not and freakishly tall and he toppled over.
"Did you ever notice MT doesn't really act like a kid? He's too well natured and silly to be a *REAL* kid and..." said Al and Author.
"SHUT UP!" said Mike and punched her.
Mike suddenly had the urge to jump in the ocean and eat raw fish.
Anyway, while Mike was out eating fish, Peter was trying to think Al and BT back to normal.
"Its not working guys..." said Peter worriedly.
"Okay, tonight we have to go into his dream section and fiddle with his dreams..." said Al.
"Noooo evilly," said Al. "We have to though, or else he might turn us into aardvarks or something next..."
"EWWW," said BT and threw cookies at Mike, who came back in and punched the author. Mike suddenly had the urge to sit in Sassip's pouch, so he did that. Davy wondered at Mike's actions. "What's with you man? You better stop punching the author..."
"Mmmbbbff!" said Sassip's pouch.
"EEEKK MY POUCH TALKS DAVY MADE MY POUCH TALK!" screeched Sassip and bounced heavily on her pouch.
"ARHGBNM!!!" said Mike.
"SASSIPP! You're hurting Mike! He's in your pouch!" said Davy in horror.
"OMIGOSH DAVY NOOOOO!" said Sassip and shoved him into her pouch, which didn't work because he horrored all the more.
Al meanwhile was trying to deal with MT.

"If you're Mommy where's Mommy?" he asked.
"NOOO I AM Mommy!" said Al. "I just look different."
"No you're Daddy named Mommy where is Mommy?!"
Al tripped and dragged MT over to the couch. She lifted him with surprising ease.
"You stay there and take a nap, K?" said Al.
MT cooed stupidly and Al rolled her eyes and walked over to Mike, unzipped Sassip's pouch and freed him.
"ARGH!" said Mike and punched Al.
"UGH I'm not the author!" said Al, rubbing her nose.

"Hey, how come the author says "she" for you and BT when you're boys now, huh?" asked Micky.
"Because we're not REALLY boys!" said BT and Micky looked confused and shut up.
"Oh no no don't shut up you're CUTE when you talk!!!" protested BT, & Micky made a pouty face so BT melted. But she only melted half way.
"Oh my GOSH, what the?!" exclaimed Mike.
"OOHhhh I'm like melty jello stuffs!" said BT, wobbling around. "How COOL!" she said & glommed all over Al.
"OH UGH I'm all glommy nasty nasty g'oofffffff," she whinged.
"Heehee," said BT & went to ooze on Sassip.
"What're you gonna do dream thingie mind in me HUHH?" said Peter.
"Never mind sweetums thingie, can you go to sleep for us so we can mess with your dreamy thing?" said Al.
"But Daddy Mommy *I'M* your sweetums thingie!" MT protested, popping up.
"Don't pop up you remind me like of a toastery," said Al & shoved him back down.
"I'm not sleepy," Peter said.

"Oh no no we are not back to this, we haven't had to have him sleep for anything since the first few stories and we shouldn't now because it's such a PAIN! I mean we have to wait for him or feed him gravy or wait no that was BT fooper love weirdo thing but we had to hit him with stuff & make him fall asleep & sing at him and oh GOSH it was annoying PLEASE NO!!" Micky said.

"Maybe that is the longest thing you have ever said," said Sassip pointlessly. "Oohhh I am pointless!!!" she said & shifted uncomfortably because BT was being jelloglommy on her. "Get off you're icky!"
"Alright," said Sassip with a shrug, & punted BT, but she didn't go very far. BT kind of bounced on the floor a couple times & then settled into a mass of relatively sand-shaped jelly, & Sassip was still oozy.
"Icky I'm stuck to the floor! Someone peel me off," BT demanded, but no one lifted a finger. "Micky do something cute so I'll melt the rest of the way," she said.
"NOOOO!!!!" said Micky.
"UGH I'm not doing this anymore!! I can't take it!! So WHO NEEDS IT!!!!" Micky shouted. BT was instantly a puddle, from which she resolidified almost immediately.
"OHHH YOU'RE SO CUTE!! Ugh I'm still a guy with pants though," said BT with distaste.
"You ALWAYS wear pants," said Mike.
"Well...uh...shows how much you know!" said BT, which puzzled Mike greatly until he had decided raw fish was nasty.

"Mommy daddy?" said MT popping up again.
"Yes thing?" said Al.
"Be a Daddy named Daddy! It's sensier," said MT.
"But I'm your Mommmy, I'm NOT your daddy."
"But you are a GUY thing!!!"
"Well, yes, but-"
"And so'sm I!!!"
"But I'm not REALLY a guy thing!! Peter just made me one and we're gonna fix it!!" Al shouted in a fit of ire.
"Irefit irefit irefit," Sassip hummed quietly to herself.
MT's lip started quivering. "Daddy mommy is mad at meeee?"
"Uuuggghhh," said Al. "No no sweetums thingy pie baby cakes, I wuuuv yooou," said Al & hugged him. Everyone almost lost their pound cake again.
"That is a sickening display of affection," said Mike.
"Not as sickening as that time when Micky liked me & we nosedoinked for days until Al hit him with his tushcover frying pan," said BT flatly.
"Huh?" said everybody.
Al coughed but didn't care as she wasn't really a guy and didn't care what it looked like.

BT was jumping around dumbly. She then almost attached herself to Micky again.
"NO!" said Micky.
"I KNOOOWW I wasn't GOING to sheesh!" said BT.
"Yes you were!"
"But I stopped myself sheesh!"
"Riiigghhhtt," said Mike and shuffled around, trying to get rid of the fish smell.
Sassip danced around for a while. But everyone got bored of watching her, which made her mad.
Davy slid around on the floor because some of BT's ooze was still around.
"Why don't you clean it up!?" he said as he slid out the door.
BT sobbed bitterly until Mike kicked her. "Hey.. hey get up, you're not really sobbing.."
"WELL WHOOOOO NEEDS IT!?" shouted Micky and BT fell on the ground and spazzed.
Micky looked confused and shrugged and walked upstairs, stepping on her in the process.
"OOOF!" she said and curled up giggling.
Peter had fallen asleep on the couch, and Al suddenly noticed. She begged MT to get off her and poofed out with BT.

Inside, she found Davy, rifling through the fridge.
"Oooh, come on Davy!" said Al.
They all three of them went into Peter's subconscious where Puma was curled up happily.
Al knocked and let herself in. "Hey, can you help us?"
"AHHH!" said Puma and rolled off the consoles.
"Its just me! Al!" said Al.
"Oh.. whew what HAPPENED?!"
"Well you seem to have let Peter's subconscious affect us physically you silly cat!" shouted BT.
"GRRRRRRRRR......" said Puma.
"Whoops, sorry," said Al & kicked BT out the door, shutting it quickly. Loud knocking followed but they ignored it.
"Well as you can see," she informed Puma testily, "he dreamed we were guys. And now we ARE. This is not cool."
"Oops, I whacked a thingie with stuff, because nobody trims my claws and they make me whack weird things," said Puma fiddling with the controls.
"Nobody should HAVE to trim your claws!!" said Al.
Puma sniffed indifferently, plainly saying that someone should trim her claws because it was not a job worthy to be done by Puma herself.
Al made a face. "Can you fix iiiiit?"
Puma twitched. "Probably. Do you have FISH?"
Al thought.
"MIKE HAS FISSHHH," said BT from the other side of the door.
"Oh! Hey!! Mike has fish," said Al.
"The fooper figment said that," Puma pointed out.
"Oh yeh whatever," said Al & poofed out directly onto Mike.
"MIKEY MIKEY TALLPANTS!" she said. "Have you got any FISHIES eh wot??"
Mike looked absolutely terrified. "MIIIIIIKE!!" he said. "Oh, wait, that won't work. Sassip she catches things."
"I do NOT," said Sassip haughtily & flipped her big green tail back and forth.
"Ugh you're just like Puma," said Al & poofed back to Peter's subconscious.

"Well we can't find any fish but-"
"You IDIOT. Man, he really did make you a GUY - just poof up some fish!!" said Puma.
"But BT said...she said it it's her fault she's the moron," Al said & poofed up fish which Puma happily ate.
"Oh, smart kitty," said Al dreamily.
"I beg your pardon??" said Puma.
"Oh sorry I was miles away...uh so can you make Peter's subconscious quit messin' us up?"
"Yes, yes I can. Whether I WILL is the question," said Puma, sitting up & curling her tail around her.
"And can you also send him to sleep?"
Puma twitched.
"Uh...well yeah okay, thanks," Al mumbled poofing away.
Then Al remembered Peter was already asleep. She poofed back in.
"Hey! You tricked me!" she said.
"No, you just are dumb. Anyway. If you give me lots of fish and mice I will fix you."
"You're mean you used to be nice.." Al said dumbly.
"Yes," said Puma.
"Okay.." said Al blinking.
"Good. Now. Lemme see. You don't touch a THING..." said Puma.
Al blinked and watched her stupidly.
Puma began wacking dials, pushing buttons, flipping switched and watching the screen. Eventually she looked happy.

"Okay. That's done. You go to bed tonight and Peter will have a dream about you being girls again." said Puma.
"Oh thanks kitty!" said Al and petted her.
Puma sighed and evaded Al's petting and shoved Al out the door.
Al went out and told BT but it was only 1 in the Afternoon.
"OH MY GOSH WE HAVE TO WAIT ALL DAAAAAY??" BT said hopping around excitedly.
"What? I didn't even TELL you anything yet!" Al said.
"I eavesdropped."
"BAD BT!!" said Micky & picked her up & put her in a sack & threw her out in the ocean.
"That was weird," commented Sassip.

So Peter went to bed that night & had a dream in which Davy was a donut addict in rehab, Micky was obsessed with frying pants, Mike was two hairdressers, & Al & BT were girls. So they turned back, but nobody knew about BT because she was stuck in the ocean until a month later Sassip went out to play & found BT who was so mad at Micky she didn't speak to him for three whole hours.


Next Issue: BT turns into a cat for a reason nobody knows why yet.

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