Bad Luck Sticks To You
Like A Bowl Of Oatmeal

One fine summer evening everybody was lolling about the pad in a "who needs it" sort of manner when Mike looked at the author and said "Who needs WHAT!?"
"I dunno," said the author, shoving him back in.
Mike shrugged and filed Davy's nails when Davy wasn't looking.
Sassip was sleeping and drooling and soon they had a huge sized pool on the floor. BT grinned evilly and threw MT and Micky in and then laughed her head off.
"BT that wasn't very nice!" said Sassip, licking the drool off her snout and looking at the puddle in disgust. "Why didn't you WAKE me? Yeesh I look like a fool now!"
Sassip promptly ran outside to sulk in the ocean.
BT laughed and laughed.
"You're gonna get what's coming to ya one of these days.." said Al, barely lifting her eyes from her book.

The next day, BT got mad because Micky kept bouncing her away, so she put really hot sauce in his cereal and laughed all over the floor when he blew fire out of his mouth.
"Hey, we're not cartoons anymore!" said Mike to the authors, once again.
"Shut up Mike," said Al the Author and shoved him back in.
"Geesh, my nose is starting to look like Micky's with all the shoving back into story bit..." he muttered as he stalked off.
Micky managed to drink half the water supply for the city and fell into the drool pool and then realized what it was and cursed BT evilly.
"You're gonna get your share of this some day..." said Peter to BT, but BT was laughing too hard to take him seriously.

The following day BT had a nice list of pranks to pull and foopiness to arrange, when she saw Micky and his hair was all very nice and soft and tidy looking.
"EEEEKKKK!" she said and melted into a disgusting puddle of lumpy BT thing.
"OATMEAL!" shouted MT and scooped her into a bowl.
"NOOO!" shouted BT and poofed back to normal, but the bowl was sturdily planted to her tush.
"UGH I can't get it OFF!" she shrieked and tried everything. But it was one of those sturdy plastic bowls, and she had accidentally made it part of herself in her haste to poof back to normal.
"OOOH! Beeeteeee has a bowltush!" said MT who promptly fell to the floor laughing. He rolled into the drool pool.
"Ewwwww..." he said and stalked off to hug Al who shrieked noisily. BT sighed and sat down on her bowl.
"AHAHAHHA!" said Micky and rolled around on the floor, careful to avoid the drool pool. "AHAH IT MAKES A FUNNY NOISE WHEN YOU SIT ON THAT CHAIR!" and he rolled off to find Sassip and tell her gleefully what happened.
BT sighed and the rest of her day was ruined because no matter what pranks she pulled, everyone laughed harder at her bowltush.

The following evening the bowl was still there and Al refused to help her remove it.
BT began cussing so much that MT looked horrified and Al was annoyed, so Al grabbed BT and shoved three bars of soap into her mouth, muttering something about "potty mouthed little fooper" and other such things.
After said incident, BT let out soap bubbles every time she opened her mouth for a month, and between the bowl and the bubbles, people laughed at her every time they saw her.
BT was getting very pissed and whiny.
"HOW COME ALL THIS BAD LUCK IS HAPPENING TO MEEEE?!" she shouted, and about 50 bubbles came out and she sat down hard on the bowl which made a loug clinking noise.
She never got an answer because everyone was rolling around with laughter.
BT pouted & went to the refrigerator, opened a Tupperware container (Micky cringed), poured the contents into a glass, & drank the glass.
"What is that?" said Mike.
"It's cream of root beer soup I made three years ago," Peter said proudly.
"It negates soap bubbles," BT glurped unhappily. "It also tastes like-"
"Do I have to feed you more Zest?" Al warned.
"It tastes like...soup!" BT said happily & sat down & clinked and everyone pointed and laughed.
BT made an annoyed face.
"Aw she looks all stormy," said Davy, nudging Al, who grinned evilly & blinked at BT. A stormcloud appeared above her head & she looked alarmed as it started raining on her. She went away from it but it just followed her.
"UGH, my hair is getting all wet!!" she whinged & went & stood by Micky but somehow it didn't rain on him. So she went & sat on Sassip and clinked, but it didn't rain on her either.
"AAAALLLL MAKE IT G-G-G-O AWAAAYY!" she whinged. "I'm ccoooollldddd!!"
"Aw, poor baby," Sassip said sarcastically.
Mike whispered something to Al who grinned evilly. The raincloud disappeared.

BT looked shocked. "Thank you, Al!!!" Peter & Micky just stared at BT. "What?" she said.
Micky started laughing & just looked at her incredulously. "You don' can't tell???!!!" he shouted & Peter started rolling around laughing & Micky & Mike were soon to follow.
"What?? What??!!" BT screeched.
"You..your hair..." Davy gasped between giggles.
"Oh ew gigglegasping," Sassip said disdainfully.
"MT!! Baby you'll tell me why they're being all foopy won't youuuu?" BT crooned.
MT looked at BT wide-eyed. "Mommy scary inferno thing!!!!" he whined cutely & hid under Sassip.
BT poofed up a mirror & looked in it.
"AAGUGGHGHHUGUHUHGHUG!!!! MY HAIR IS ON FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRE!!" she screeched and ran around and around and around in a circle until Sassip fell asleep & drooled some more & it put the fire out.
"Waahhh now I'm all drooly and scorched," said BT in a bedraggled tone.
"Don't drool so much luv," Davy said kicking Sassip.
"Alright sweetie," said Sassip and punted him.

"Hey Micky!" said Mike.
"You remember when MT thought he was just like BT and he liked you? That was FUNNY man!!" said Mike & started drawing a big mustache on Peter with a magic marker.
"Oh good grief," Al muttered & poofed up a Better Homes & Gardens magazine, which she immediately set fire to & let it fly away into the night sky.
"WHAT THE HECK???" said BT.
"Uhoh, potty mouth," said Micky & tried to turn her into a bar of soap but he remembered he couldn't. So Al did.
"OH EWWWW I *AM* soap!! Oh this is so nasty and gross I feel all yicky yick yick yick," BT cried.
"But you're super-clean!" said Davy.
"And you come pre-attached with a soapdish!!" said Peter tapping the bowl.
"HEY!!!!! HANDS OFF!!!" BT shrieked & slid across the floor, where she was immediately stepped on by Mike, who tripped & fell down.
"Ohhhhhh that was not fun," he said & just laid there, looking at the ceiling & pondering the reason for stucco.
Al giggled and tried to pull the bowl off but it was stuck fast. "Sorry BT, can't undo that for ya!"
BT moaned and looked offended. Well as offended as soap can be.
Al felt a tad sorry for her and turned her back to normal, but she gave off bubbles when she talked again.
Mike thought this was the most hilarious thing in the world and kept making like he was going to go for the bowl, just to make her open her mouth so more bubbles would come out.
BT sighed and tried to escape outside but she fell down and slid on her own slimy soapy trail.

So BT gave up and laid there for three days straight, except for one hour when she tried to get Micky to help her get the bowl off her tush.
He of course declined, and she didn't want anyone else touching her bowl but him so she tripped again and laid there huffily.
As she started to smell for some odd reason like something weird and BPFLish, Al decided the raincloud was the best thing for her and let 'er rip.
"NOOOO ALLL!" said BT and got up, but she wasn't soapy anymore which made her happy, so she tried to get everyone else wet but to no avail.

Suddenly she looked odd, as if she were listening to something, and then went for Micky's tush.
"BT!" he said as he wasn't turned around when she went for it.
"That was dumb. You should have waited til he was the right way for you to be doing that.." said Mike.
"Sorry.. It wasn't me. Something in my head..." she started, but everyone looked at her funnily.
"Oh, now she's HEARING things in her head oh great oh great.." said Micky running around in circles and covering his tush with a frying pan.
Everyone was more interested in Micky and his fryingpan covered tush so they forgot about BT and her foopy voices.
"Well I didddd!" she sighed and went to hide in the fridge as an egg.
The next morning Peter wanted some brekky so he opened the fridge.
"Wow, where did this egg come from?!" asked Peter, taking the egg that was in the bowl out of the fridge and getting the frying pan from Micky.
"NOOOO Peter I need that!" he said.
"No Micky I need it to fry this egg," said Peter and left Micky's tush defenseless.
Micky sat on it ASAP and looked around for BT.
Peter couldn't seem to wrench the egg from the bowl, but it never dawned on him that the egg was BT. But at any rate he took a knife and cracked the egg. He heard an odd muffled shriek, looked around, shrugged and tried to ooze the egg from the bowl and shell, but it was oddly congealed.
"Ugh.." he said, and threw it away. He heard a loud "OOF" and then a loud "POOF" and then BT was on his hair pulling it violently.

"OUCH WHAT DID I DOO!?" he whined.
"DOn"T EVER TRY TO EAT ME AGAIINNN!" BT shrieked near tears and fell onto the floor with a chink of a bowl and pouted.
Micky grabbed the frying pan but it was hot so he burned his tush.
BT thought this was funny because she felt mean and she laughed at him.
"Hey, aren't you supposed to want to rub my tush or something?" asked Micky.
"YES BUT I AM A MEEEAAANNN LITTLE GIRL!" said BT and she made faces and tried to bite people.
"Wow she's rabid!" said Al and washed her mouth out with soap again.
"ALRIGHT ALLLLL!" said Mike rolling off laughing again because he just loved when BT spewed bubbles from out her mouth.
"UGH Mike it's nooot funny," BT burbled.
"Oh yes," Mike gasped, "yes yes it is!! It's SOOOO funny!!" he said & just rollllled all over until he fell in the drool pool & was disgusted & went to take a shower with his clothes on, 'cause that was the trend. You use detergent *and* body wash. Uh anyway.
"Wahaahahahahhhh!!! You're all evillll," whinged BT & sat down which made her clink and everyone laughed.
"Nooo, YOU'RE evil," said Davy.
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!" said Davy joined by Peter & Micky
"Am not!!!"
"ARE TOOO!!" said everyone except MT who said, "I think you'we eeeeeevil BT thingy," he said & hit her with a stick. BT rolled her eyes & submitted to the stickhitting until MT got tired of it & went to do some foopy kiddie thing, like color on the walls.
"Why do you keep washing my mouth out with soap?? It's so...ICKY!! Oooo I could just, I dunno," BT said dumbly.
"Ohhhh is she ever dumb," Sassip said sleepily & went to sleep.
"Why does she keep sleeping??" said Micky.
"Oh, it's her semi-hibernation season. She gets really sleepy a lot," Davy informed everyone & made a "sh" sign.
"I WILL NOT BE QUIETTTTTT," BT shouted at the top of her lungs.
Peter suddenly looked confused. "Why don't you ever shout anything at the bottom of your lungs?"
"BEE-CAUSE..uh...oh," BT said & looked stonkered. "Heck if I know."
"OHHHH POTTYMOUTH!!" said Al & washer her mouth out with more soap.

Suddenly, Nice BT poofed in. "I would like to know who is tapping into my supply of combination soap/mouthwash," she said huffily.
"Naughty naughty," said NBT & made her drink soap through a straw.
"Ugh ugh ugh I feel so sick. You're all going to feel TERRIBLE when I die of soap poisoning," BT said painfully & went to lie on the couch & think about Micky.
"She's such a boofer. But then so are you," said Al & put NBT in a box, & used a slingshot to make her go far away.
"Soap poisoning? Soap?? Soap...soap..." Micky said, & started wandering around in a daze.
"What'd she say?" said Davy.
"I'm going to die of soap poisoning," BT informed him listlessly. Davy got the weirdest look on his face & said, "SOAP?! Oh...soap...soap...soap!...soap?...soap..." Mike & Peter soon followed & BT was asleep. So Al turned into a cat & pounced on her & stepped on her & swished her tail in her face & did all manner of annoying cat things.

Everyone stood absolutely still and stared at BT, who turned pale lime green. "Oh my gosh, I did NOT say that. It was the voice in my head..."
Micky turned slightly pink & started hitting people with the frying pan.
"NO NO really it was!!! It it it-" BT said futilely.
Al took away Micky's fry pan and threatened him with soap.
Then she whacked Micky when he was about to start dazing off about soap again.
"NO NO NO That is just wrong." said Al and took his fry pan away.
The next night BT was sulking and turned into a bowl of Alka Seltzer.
Actually she was just going to turn into a bowl of water but she was so bubbly it turned into Alka Selter.
"Oh good man, I need that I ate too much stuff.." Micky groaned and staggered over to BT. Then he stopped and looked at the bowl.
"Hmmm... where did I see this bowl before? Oh well." said he, and shrugged, lifting the bowl to drink from it. BT giggled stupidly.
"Whaaa?" said Micky. All of a sudden Al Cat flashed as if from nowhere and knocked the bowl over onto the floor. The weird BT Alaka Seltzer thing did what the egg did and just oozed around a bit but didn't go anywhere particular in a hurry.
"WHAT!?" said Micky, shoving Al off the table. She landed on her feet. "HA! You should thank me! You almost drank the fooper!" said Al and stalked away to tickle someone else.
Micky turned bright red and began to attack the bowl-and-Alka-Seltzer-BT-Thing with his fry pan.
"I know you're you! You better show yourself right now!" he said. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" shouted BT and poofed back to herself.
Micky accidentally whacked the bowl a few times and BT made the worst face.
"Oops, uh.. sorry." said Micky and ran away quickly after wallopping her on the head for a last measure of emphasis.
BT whinged and decided for the moment she'd stop disguising herself as stuff because she always almost got eaten or something.
Just then Mike rolled past.

"HOWDY BEE-TEEEE!" he screeched.
BT looked scared. "MIiiiiiiike don't do that!!!"
Mike stood up & looked weird. "Sorry...I'm not sure what's come over me lately...I just get this urge to *roll*, man, ROLL!! You know?"
Davy looked at Mike. "Why you wanna roll man? The restaurant's half a block!"
Mike stared. "I don't pick that up at alll...oh well," he said & rolled off.
"MICKY," BT shrieked for no particular reason.
"Owwwww, that hurts," said Peter, holding the side of his head.
"You're LOUD."
"I knowwww," said BT evilly until Peter zapped her with his crystal.
"Hey, this is fun!" said Peter & zapped her again. Pretty soon Mike & Davy had joined in, and after awhile everyone with zapping capabilities was zapping her mercilessly.
"ZAPFEST!!" Micky yelled.
"Don't, it's dumb," said Al & zapped him.
"MWHAHAHA!" said Sassip & sat on everyone, but the zapping still continued, since everyone used the trapdoor in the floor they had made for purposes when Sassip sat on everybody. However, they didn't have any lighting in the trapdoor room, so everyone's zaps were horribly mis-aimed.

"OW!! What'dja do that for, Micky?"
"I didn't do that, Peter did!"
"You zapped me, man, it was you!"
"Naw, I did that."
"No, because-"
By some freak accident, everyone zapped BT's bowl at once, & it shattered, the pieces turned into frogs, & hopped away.

"Oh my gosh, what was THAT, and Al why don't you poof up a LIGHT?!" said Davy.
"Oh," said Al dimly & poofed up a lamp.
"No no, too dim."
"I can't help it."
"Not YOU, the LAMP."
"Oh," said Al & used a 70-watt bulb instead of 25.
"Can you even buy 25-watt bulbs?" said Mike.
"I don't have a frying pan! Wah!"
"I don't have pound cake!"
"I just wanna roll!"
"I wish I had a popsicle!"
"I think we should improve this trapdoor theory because now we can't get out because Sassip is still sitting on the trapdoor," Al said drily.

Well, that wraps up another laugh riot! Next Issue: Sassip talks BT into making her she & Al are at it for the rest of the story.

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