Caution: Shortness May Result In Death
Gina reminded Al of a episode of The Legend of Zelda called
"The Missing Link" (being the cartoon mentioned in the story)
and that is where this plot came from.

One day, or was it night? Oh well, one time, everyone was sitting around and they were watching TV and reading and junk. Davy decided to get some poundcake from out the fridge.
"'EY! Look at this you guys!" he shouted. Inside the fridge was a sentient slice of poundcake.
"CLOSE THAT DOOR! It's hot!" shouted the poundcake, and sniffed airily.
"WOW!" shouted everyone, and Sassip tripped, falling on Davy.
"EEEK!" he shrieked as she fell on him, followed by Micky, Peter, Mike, Al, MT, BT, and someone else they didn't know who it was.
"Get out of here!" moaned Al to the stranger and then proceeded to yell, "GET ORFF OF MEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Everyone obliged and got off, leaving Davy sprawled out on the floor.
"Aw, poor baby..." said Peter, trying to wake him up.
"Ack... is he.. dead?"! said Al, looking concerned.
"NO HE CAN'T BE DEAD! I'LL KILL THE PERSON WHO FELL ON HIM!" said Sassip shouted and whinging and bawling and weeping and crying.
"YOU fell on him dummy!" shouted Mike.
"NO I DIDN'T YOU DIDIDIDIDID!" shouted Sassip and started crying. She put on a black hat with a veil and began to daub her eyes with a black lace handkerchief, the size of a tablecloth.
"'Ey there, Sassip, is that me mum's good table cloth?!" said a voice that sounded oddly like Davy's.
Everyone spun around. "DAAAVVVYY!?" shouted everyone gaping at him.
"What's all the fuss about?" he inquired. Everyone stared at him drop-jawed until Peter motioned for them all to step aside.
"Maybe he should see.." said Peter. Everyone made way.
"ACK!!!" shouted Davy running around and babbling incoherenly.
"DAVY GET A GRIP!" shouted Micky, barely in control himself and attempting to grab Davy and calm him down. He went right through Davy who didn't even notice.
"AWOIGUGHH!" shouted Micky and joined Davy, occasionally running through him. Davy stopped. "Look, man, will you STOP doing that!?" and then he resumed his freaking.
"Sorry warhghsufhlas," shouted Micky.
Al, Mike and MT watched in horror.
"AH THEY ARE HORROR!" shouted Sassip and fell over.

Finally Davy and Micky calmed down and BT tried to comfort Micky.
"I wuv your wittle hair, I wuv your wittle nose *doink doink*" she said cooingly.
"GET ORFFA MEEE!"Micky and heaved BT orff unsurreptiously.
"WAAAHH!" shouted BT and tried to cling to Davy. She ended up sitting in Davy.
"EWWWW WHAT THE..!?!?!?" she shouted and got out. Davy looked offended.
"Uh.." said Al, not knowing what to say.
"I HATE YOU!" shouted Sassip and she tried to punt Davy but went right through and got Micky instead.
"YARGH!" shouted Micky and he slammed into Mike and BT.
"UGH!" sighed Mike and went upstairs to mull over the situation.
"AAWWWW did Micky fall down go boom?? Awwww poor baby," said BT & started for him but he was up & running.
"Gee. You know what?" Micky said, articulating every syllable very definitely. "I think I will go to the refridge-jer-ay-tor, and look for Co-ca-co-la."
Everyone stared at him a lot and then shrugged.
"OH MY GOSH, IT'S SENTIENT POUND CAKE!!" Micky shrieked & then everyone ignored him for an hour or so because he was weird.

"So if I tried to punch Davy it wouldn't do anything?" said Al & walked up & stuck her hand through him.
"That boy just ain't right," Mike said to no one in particular.
"OH COOL!" MT shrieked & went over & stood in Davy.
"IT''s...MickyDavy!" said BT.
"It's DavyMT!" said Peter.
"It's Thingthing!" said Sassip.
"What??" said Micky.
"MICKY! I thought we were ignoring you and your sentient poundcake fantasies!" said BT.
"WHAT?!?!" shouted Micky.
Davy tried to kick BT but he couldn't because he went through her.
"Ooh hey, this could be fun, actually," said Davy & walked outside without using the door.
"Hey Al, try & poof up a cage I can't get out of!" said Davy. "I wanna try somethin'!"
"Okay," Al said & poofed up an everything-proof cage obligingly.
"No, just a normal thing with walls," said Davy in disgust.
"You said something you couldn't get out of," Al said plaintively.
"Oh, you're no fun anymore," Davy sighed & Al poofed the cage away, but then she put BT & Mike in it and decided to leave them in there, just to see what would happen.
"Al? Can we come out now?" Mike said.
"Al? Can we come out later?" said BT.

Peter and Micky pointed and giggled.
"How come you didn't sound proof it, Al?" said Sassip. "Now we have to listen to their boofy whinging, orn and orn about EVERYTHING."
"It is sound proofed," Al said.
"No it's NOT!!" said Micky.
But BT & Mike were talking even though no one could hear them then.
"But it wasn't soundproofed a second ago," said Peter.
"I SOUNDPROOFED IT!! Geez, you people have no imagination," Al said grumpily & threw a big rock at Davy.
"Ow," said Davy.
"I thought you were insubstantial," said Al.
"Well, I am, but I fizzled a teeny bit and it felt funny."
"Hmm...I fink Davy goned WHONKY NUTS!" said MT cheerfully & tried to color Davy's shirt with crayons, but couldn't.
"Hey Davy? Will your crystal still work?" said BT, but nobody heard her. So she poofed up a deck of cards & started up a game of two-handed Hearts with Mike.
"I wonder if my crystal will still work," Davy mused.
"I said that," BT grumbled.
"Okay, run at me," said Davy. And everyone started for him.
"NONONO just one of you! MT, you run at me," said Davy.
"Awww, *I* wanted to," Micky whined.
"Shut up Micky dear," said Al & kicked him out the door until he rolled out to the ocean.
"Micky dear?" said Peter.

"I bet Micky rolled off to a chicken fry party," BT said.
"Them chicken fry parties is fun," said Mike stupidly.
"Mike don't talk like that."
"Oh, alright. I'm beating you horribly, you know."

"I'M GONNA RUN IN DAVY!!!" MT yelled happily.
"Yeah kay just do it," said Sassip, and he did. And he ran right through Davy.
"Oh ugh, my force field is insubstantial, too...OH NO!! Can I even eat pound cake??" Davy shrieked. "Quick Al poof some up!"
"There's some sentient pound cake in the fridge," Micky said.
Al poofed some up & Davy tried to scoff it, but to no avail. "Why not try the SENTIENT pound cake?" Micky said.
"Micky, shhhhh," said Davy. "You're supposed to have rolled off to an ocean chicken thing or something.
"HUH?!" said Micky & went out by the ocean because he was scared.
"Life is no longer worth living," Davy said gloomily.
"OH!! Davy is gloomily," Sassip said dreamily.
"I cannot scoff - and as scoffing is the essence of man, on this bleak horizon, I must-"
"Oh knock it off!" said Al & threw a really huge rock at him.
"OOH ooh ooh it's fizzly!!" Davy whinged.
"Davy it CAN'T be fizzly!" said Al irately.
"Why not?"
"Because you don't feel fizzly.. like.. wait.. Micky, throw me into Davy.." said Al, curling into a big fat ball. Micky obliged.
"Anything?" everyone asked.
"No... OMIGOSH AHHH!" said Davy and hopped around. Then they saw MT ticking Davy's body.
"Ugh get away from there!" said Al.
"WHYY!?" said Davy. "Is there something wrong with meee?"
"Well it's all dead and stuff.." said Al.
"Hmph!" said Davy and tried to eat the poundcake.

Al got Micky to help her pick up Davy's body and place it on the couch. Davy got freaked looking at himself all dead and turned his back.
"Okay, so he can still FEEL his body, kinda..." said Al.
"Maybe he just got the ghost stcared out of him!" said Mike.
"I know! Maybe he just got the ghost scared out of him!" said Micky returning from the sea.
"AHHH I SAID THAT!" said Mike.
"It seems as if someone said that.." said Micky, shrugging.
"What's wrong with this box?" asked Davy. "I can hear them sorta.."
Davy stuck his head in. "Hey guys!" he said.
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" shouted BT and Mike and flung Davy out backwards from the force of their yelling.
"DAVY! Stop being see through! It's scary!" shouted BT and knocked the box over.
"Oh fart!" said MT and everyone looked at him as he giggled his cute little head off.
"WHO TAUGHT HIM THAT WORD?!" shouted Al angrily.
"Oh ahaha Mommy shouts angrily!" said MT pointing and giggling.
"Oh well.." said Al and poofed the box away cause BT and Mike were fighting alot.
Mike had BT in a headlock when the box went away.

"OH, ah.." he said and let her go.
"DARN TOOTIN'!" said BT and huffed orff to cling to Micky.
"GUYS! MY BODY! I WANT IT BAACCKK!" shouted Davy frantically, trying to eat poundcake.
Al went over to Davy's body and poked it a bit on the arm.
"Ouch.." said Davy.
"Hmmmmmmm..." said Al. "Davy, try laying over your body.."
"Where did you get that idea from!?" said Davy.
"Uh, a cartoon or something!" said Al. Davy tried it but it didn't work. "AHHH ALLLL!" he shouted and ran into her.
"Ooops I keep forgetting!" he whinged.
"Forgetting what?" said BT innocently, trying to brush Micky's hair but he kept kicking her with the force field thing.
"I'M DEAD!" Davy yelped.
"Oh, yeah, that...sorry about that," BT said sincerely & immediately turned her attention to Peter.
"I can brush YOUR hair!" she said happily & affixed her self to his head until he looked so scared Mike plucked BT off him by the hair & swung her around & threw her out the skylight.
"'Ey, Mike...we don't have a skylight," said Davy.
"We do now," said Mike & slid down Sassip, because he never ever had.
"Yay!! Now nearly everyone in the Al & BT Chronicles has experienced the joy of: ME SLIDE!!!" Sassip announced proudly.
"Oh Sassip you are a vain git," Al said snitchily.
"Yes, yes, I know, I love all my little starfish pets...You wanna do some Me History?" Sassip said excitedly.
"NO!!" said everyone except Micky who said, "OOH YEH!"
"WHAT?!" said everyone.
"Uh, no no, I didn't say that, sorry," Micky mumbled.
"OH HE'S MUMBLY CUUUTE!" BT shrieked & bounced off his crystal field more.
"Mulberry cute?" MT said.
"Nono, mumbly," said BT.
"Mub-lmy," said MT.
"Ohhhh, he's cute when he can't say things," said BT looking at him fondly. "You sure you dun wanna be my kid, sweet funny cute little Micky lookalike thing?"
"Nooo, ICKY," said MT disdainfully.
"Ah well," said BT watching him play with dumb things like nonexistent crickets.
"Crickets? Where? Can I eat them?" Sassip wanted to know.

"I dooooo," said someone that had fallen on him earlier, but still nobody knew who it was.
"So what? Nobody knows who you are. Maybe I'll just-" Davy started.
"Hey Davy?" BT asked suddenly. "How come you aren't just falling through the floor?"
"Uh...uhmmmm...uh..." Davy stammered.
"Hey, you know, he really isn't," Al observed.
"What if I look down & I fall? Nobody can catch meee because I'm insubstantial, WAAAHH I wanna be alive!" Davy yelped & flailed around.
"Awww poor little Davy fianc�e thing!" Sassip cooed.
"Uh...fianc�e...yeah right..." Davy said. "Aaalll or BT can't SOMEONE make me alive again? You're always reviving dead things."
"Huh?" said BT who was staring at Micky, who was staring at the sentient pound cake.
"Micky, the refrigerator is not a library," Al said sternly.
"Yes it is!" Peter insisted. "I have a card and everything, I checked a book out last week called-"
"Uh-huh sweetie cakes that's nice," said BT.
"Oh, she called me sweetie cakes," Peter said & fidgeted uncomfortably.
"What's this about reviving dead things? Davy, can you revive dead things? Have you been hiding talents?" Al demanded.
"Huh?" said Al.
"Put me back in me!" said Davy.
"Uh-oh, can't."
"'Cause. Dunno."
"UGH," said Davy & tried to roll around but he couldn't really.
"You know I bet if I put you in my pouch everything would be okay," said Sassip & tried to do so, but she failed miserably.

"I can't even put Davy in my pouch!"
"I can't even eat pound cake!"
"I can't even figure out why there is sentient pound cake in the FRIDGE!"
"I can't even cling on Micky!"
"I can't even cling on Davy!"
"WHAT?!" said everyone in a mixture of alarm & interest, looking at Al.
"Uh," Al stammered & started babbling something about pancake leprechauns, in which nobody was terribly interested.

"No, seriously, guys, come look at this," Micky said.
"OOH WHAT IS IT WHAT IS IT MICKY?? I WILL LOOK AT IT!!" BT said hopping up and down. And so Micky showed her the sentient pound cake on its platter in the fridge, because nobody else was interested so at last BT was good for SOMETHING anyway.
"Does the pound cake know how to play the ukelele?" said Mike.
"I'll ask it," said Micky. "No, no it doesn't."
"In that case, we have no use for it. Someone should eat it."
"I can't EAT it!!!" said Micky, plainly horrified. "It's SENTIENT."
"Davy's sentient & Sassip eats him," BT pointed out but nobody cared.
"I'm barely sentient!" Davy said.
"Oh. I don't care," said the someone.
"SOMEONE NEEDS TO GO AWAY, they keep coming and saying stupid foopy annoying things from nowhere!!" said Sassip & bounced around, causing things to fall off the pad walls.
"Sassip!! You're disrupting the sentient pound cake!" Micky shrieked as if the world might end.
"Micky? I'm sentient," said BT & pulled on his shirt sleeve.
"Go away I'm talking to the pound cake."
"POUND CAKE?!!" shrieked Davy. "BUT I CAN'T EAT IT!!"
"No, no, you can't. It's sentient. It also has a British accent," Micky informed everyone.
"Mick, man, what is this hangup with the poundcake?" said Mike.
"Maybe it plays rugby. Does it know how to play rugby?" said Peter.
"Lacrosse? Badminton? Jai alai?"
"No...but it can play two-handed Hearts," said Micky & BT & Mike promptly both fainted because they were so sick of Hearts that they both could just die. But they didn't as one dead person is quite enough for this story.

"So Davy why are you just now interested in the pound cake? I've been orn about it the WHOLE STORY, and you discovered it anyway," Micky griped.
"I'M interested!!" shouted BT, jumping up and down, but MT dragged her off to build a Tinker Toy fort.
"Because..." Davy began. "When a man's soul is separated from-"
"No no silly Davy thing no poetic death thingies," said Sassip & tried to punt him but she of course couldn't.
"Maybe if you eat the sentient pound cake, you will be okay," said Peter.
"But I can't eat anything," Davy pointed out in a pained tone.
"You can eat borscht," said Al, looking up from her magazine.
"BORSCHT?! THAT'S IT?! How am I supposed to live on borscht? Oh, wait, I can't, I'm dead," said Davy & thought about that.
"I had a girlfriend who turned into a glass of borscht once," said Micky, but nobody listened to him.
Suddenly the poundcake got bored of being gawped at by Micky and went over to Davy.
"The easiest way to get back into your body is to be scared back IN. If you got scared out in the first place." said the poundcake.
"Are you gonna be a regular?" Peter demanded. "Maybe, if people stop gawping at me. I seem to be the only one with sense in this stupid story!" said Poundcake, kicking Peter and Micky in the leg.
"How does a slice of poundcake talk and walk and stuff??" Micky demanded.
"I grew legs! Now SOMEONE GET ME A PIECE OF SARAN WRAP BEFORE I SPOIL!" Poundcake shouted, so they got him a piece of plastic.
Then he went back into the fridge because it was hot outside of it.

"Okay, that was stupid.." said Al, shrugging.
"OH I LOVE POUNDCAKE!" said Davy dreamily after it.
"You and me BOTH babe!" said Al.
"Don't call me babe." said Sassip.
"Whatever." said Al and went back to reading.
Davy mulled over what Poundcake had said.
"HOW am I sposed to be scared back INTO my body?? The whole reason I got scared out is because Sassip's fat a...."
Davy started but didn't get to finish because MT and BT came in banging pots and carrying on so. "... on top of me and that squished me out o me body!" finished Davy.
"So?" asked MT.
"So? So I can't be smooshed again because things go right through me!"

So they all sat around, asuddenly Micky had the bright idea that if he kissed Davy, Davy would freak enough so that he'd pop back into his body, so Davy sat in his body and nobody told him what would happen and Micky laid a big wet one on him and nothing happened.
BT was jealous and tried to kill Davy but he was already dead so it was redundant.
Al then snuck over and laid a big wet on on Davy which shocked the heck out of him and in he went. Al ran orff all blushy and giggly and Davy sat up and gasped for air and looked bewildered and somewhere in the background they could hear BT going after Micky with a vengeance. So Davy became good friends with Poundcake, and Micky resented that fact, and Sassip kept Davy in her pouch for the rest of the week, which really annoyed him that he ALMOST wished he was dead again, until Al got over her blushy gigglyness and sprung him out.

The End.

Next Issue: Baby Face comes back from prison and demands that Micky help out with another robbery but BT and MT foop things up with an odd case of three-way-mistaken-identity, and a game of tag where nobody knows who the heck is It.

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