He's Just A Typical Psychopathic Killer

One day Al was polishing the windows when BT came up and smeared BPFL all over the place. Al got so hopping mad that she chased after BT until everyone woke up from their sleep and looked at them. Micky wandered out and BT shrieked, "MIIIICCCKKKYYY!" and haphazardly attached herself to him and hugged him tightly about the head and neck.
"Ugh.. BT.. can..'t..." said Micky, blacking out.
"BT! LET HIM GOOO!" shrieked Al.
BT stared at Al until Al began smacking her about the face and head and she was forced to let go to protect herself.
Micky was laying on the floor.
"Uh, I don't think he's breathing anymore.." said Sassip, tentatively poking him.
"AAAHHH!" shouted BT.
"SEE!? It's ALL your fault you evil little naughty boofer!" shouted Al.
"NOOO! I CAN FIX HIM!" said BT and began to administer mouth to mouth.
Suddenly Micky spluttered and half sat up and grabbed BT about the neck and began to pull her hair.
"You good for nuttin' lil thingy!" he said evilly.
"NO MICKY STOP OUCH THAT HURTS PLEASE!" shouted BT.
"Uh, Mick.. I think.. um..." said Davy.
BT was crying and whinging and blubbering and had the worst pained expression anyone had ever seen.
Al was sick of the noise so she forcibly pulled BT from Micky's grasp.

"KIIILLL ARGH KIIIILLLLLLLLL KIIILLL!" said Micky and made evil faces all around. Everyone backed up.
"Man, what's with him!? He usually couldn't hurt a fly!" said Mike.
"Yeh, and we all know he's TRIED!" said Davy laughing.
"Davy its not funny. What's the matter, Micky?!" asked Al.
"KIIILLL!" said Micky and went for Al.
"YEEP!" said Sassip and punted him because she was afraid.
"ARGH!" said Micky and flew at Sassip.
"ACK HELP! He's BITING MY FLIPPER!" said Sassip spinning around and knocking things and people over. BT had recovered enough to be terribly afraid of Micky.
"Why Daddy be so mean!?" asked MT.
"AH YOU!" said Micky and went for MT.
"Now why are you going to go and do a thing like that for!?" asked Mike irritably.
"HE LOOKS LIKE MEEE AND HE'S STUPID!" shouted Micky. MT started crying, which paralyzed Micky for a minute.
Al started to chide him. "Naughty Micky! Knock it off already! You've got to snap out of it! You're worse than BT and Sassip put together sheesh...."
By the time Al had finished Micky had HER in a headlock and was ripping out hair left and right.
"OH FOR THE LOVE OF FUZZY!" shouted Al and flopped around trying to get away from the nitty Micky.
"Micky has head lice?" asked Peter.
"NOOO!" shouted Micky and lunged for Peter. Peter somehow calmly sideswiped him. This only made Micky all the madder.
"YOOOUU!' he shouted and lunged again. Peter had a betrayed bewildered look upon his sweet adorable little face, but somehow he kept avoiding Micky.
Micky got annoyed so he stopped.
Then he spied Mike trying to harvest his sparkplug seeds.

"THAT IS SO STUPID!" shouted Micky and began to tear Mike's hat apart.
"MICKY!" shouted Mike in horror.
"OMIGOSH! MIKE'S HORROR!" said Sassip, punting Al by accident who was bandaging up her flipper what Micky was biting earlier.
"Ugh.." said Al, getting up.
Mike tried to recover his hat but Micky was eating it.
"AUGH man!! GIMME!" said Mike, trying to get it back. Micky proceeded to headbutt him into the sparkplug.
"MICKY STOP IT RIGHT NOOOWWWW!" cried BT.
Micky looked confused and sat on the floor and went to sleep.
MT was running around freaked out and Al was trying to get out of the wall because Sassip had actually punted her so hard as to embed her in it.
Then Micky got a mischevious smile on his face.
"Hiiiiii BT!" he said, blinking alot. Well that was the end of BT. She was attached to him in two seconds.
Probably less, if not for that pesky air.
BT was happily swooning all over him when he promptly stopped, dropped and rolled.
BT became a smear on the floor.
"OH HAHA IT WORKS!" said Micky cackling evilly and tralala-ing over to Sassip.
"Go ahead.. take your best punt.." he said.
Sassip reared up and ran over to Davy. "HE'S SCARRRYY!" she shrieked.
"That's nothing new," said Davy & hid in Sassip's pouch. By this time BT had managed to resolidify & was running at Micky, but he stepped on her a lot & she whinged & whinged until she had the brains to poof out.
Micky looked around frantically for someone to attack.

"KILLL!!! KIIIIIIIILLL!!!" he shrieked & giggled maniacally.
"Gee, Mick's not usually that deep," commented Mike in all his stoic deadpan glory.
"OH!! Mike has glory HEEHEE!" shrieked Sassip.
"OOH SHE'S STUPID!!!!" Micky shouted & made for Sassip but Davy jumped out of her pouch & whacked Micky lightly on the head.
"Don't do that," said Micky annoyedly.
"Sorry," said Davy, & promptly got punched out.
"OH!! YOU PUNCHED DAVY!!" shrieked Al & leaped on Micky's head & started whacking him & then Micky calmly picked her up by her hair & threw her at Peter & then ran around in a circle muttering something about elephants.
"Elephants...chickens..." Davy mumbled, starting to revive.
"Whaaaaa??" said BT poofing back in, and suddenly Micky got all nice & then BT was attached to him & then Micky somehow managed to make a giant 16-ton weight drop on her and then he giggled evilly & everyone stood and watched and thought that was dumb.
"Oh hey author type person chick thing girl?" said Mike.
"Yeah what," said BT the author distractedly.
"How come you alternate between '&' and 'and' so much? It's getting annoying," said Mike.
"Hmmm, I don't know..I think I'll have Micky attack you next," said BT author evilly.
"WAIT no!! I think ... uhh, I think that displays extreme diversity with-" Mike started, but Micky was hitting him a lot & then Mike fell down. Micky poked at him tentatively with his shoe.

"C'mon get up Mike you're not dead!!" he said frustratedly.
"Hey, what is this?" said Mike.
"NO NO NO NO !!!!! STOP QUOTING HEAD !!!" screeched Al.
"Whyyyeeeeeee," pouted BT. "It's CUTE."
"EEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW, LEMMYPOPS GO MELTY!!" shrieked MT happily, wandering in.
"I'd punch you a lot, but you're all sticky and oogy," said Micky & punched Peter instead. "DON'T DO THAT!!! HE'S CUTE!!!!" shouted BT punching Micky but it had no effect & he punched her.
"MT go take a shower or something honey kid lamb thing," Al said disgustedly.
MT blinked. "SHEE-YOWWWWER?!!!" he shrieked.
"Yes," said Al.
"Ooohhhhhh you're so DUMB," said Micky & kicked MT viciously in the shins.
"Oh Micky knock it OFF!!!!!" said Al & made a big thing fall on his head, but instead it missed.
"AAHAHAA!!" said Davy 'cause it landed on his foot. "OOOWWWOOOO!!!!" he said hopping around.
"Oh man I'm sorry cute lil short Davy thing!" said Al.
"AL GET IT ORFF!!!" shouted Davy painfully.
"Oh right," said Al & poofed the thing away.
Sassip glared at Al. "Dumb figment boofer," she said & nuzzled Davy.
"Don't do that luv," said Davy.
"Whoohhehehee he said luv," said Micky & punched him.
Davy reeled backwards and fell over on Mike.
"DAAAVVYY MAN!" shouted Mike.

Then everyone stayed really still and didn't do anything, because everytime they did Micky found some reason to attack them.
Al made sure MT shut up and sent him to his room to play.
Then everyone sat around and did NOTHING.
"NOOO!" said Micky looking around frantically for something to annoy him. "I.. I can't TAKE it! Its too.. NORMAL ARGH!"
He ran around attempting to rile someone into annoying him but everyone took his kicks and punches and insults and he was boiling hopping mad.
Finally Micky realized that he was annoying himself.
"STOP ANNOYING ME! NO! FINE THAN!" shouted Micky. He began to fight with himself. Everyone looked confused at first but then they began to try HARD not to laugh. Al threatened BT with a giant tarantula lest she hop up and make Micky mad.
"I CAN TAKE YOU ANY DAY OF THE YEAR!" shouted Micky and picked up a stick. "OH YEH!? YEH! HAHAHA!" said Micky and began to beat himself o'er the head. Finally he got to the point where he was verily unconscious.

"Hmmm, think it worked?" asked Al, nudging him gently.
BT was ready to administer mouth to mouth but then she remembered the unfortunately bald patch on her bonce.
Al kept nudging Micky and then she got annoyed that he wouldn't wakie wakie and she dumped about 3 gallons worth of ice on him.
"EEEEKKKKKKKKKKK!" shouted Micky and popped up.
"MICKY!" shouted BT and swooned on him.
Al held her breath and Peter hid with Davy in Sassip's pouch and Mike was behind the chair.
"EUGH BT! Get off man!" shouted Micky and unsurreptiously knocked her onto the ground.
But he didn't beat her up, he walked off to the fridge.
"OH HE'S BACCCCKk!" shouted BT, running after him, but Al felt mischievous and made the big tarantula appear and it scared the begeebers outta BT and she ran away shrieking and everyone giggled except Micky and MT who were too busy stuffing their face. The end.

Next Issue: Micky finds himself a girlfriend & invokes the wrath of BT.

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