The sea monster of Davy's affection finally
gets her own story

The Life And Times Of Sassip

One day Sassip decided to hog all the attention and so this story is all about her. It has no plot really.
"Speak for yourself" said Sassip.
So anyway, as I was saying. ...
"Ah, hi Davy!" said Sassip, frolicking.
"No no no! Stop that Sassip! You're gonna get Babbit to come over here!" said Davy, hanging onto the couch.
Micky, Mike, Al, BT and MT all bounced in.
"Where's Peter? I have big news!" said Sassip excitedly.
"Peter? Ah, he went out for.." said Mike.
"No I don't want to know. Okay. I can't wait. This is MY story!" said Sassip proudly.
"You DIDN'T!' said Peter who had just walked in.
"Yes I did. I paid off the authors." said Sassip.
"More like you threatened them!" said Mike.
Muffled voices from Sassip's pouch.
"Oh? Nah, they were more than willing... ehe.." said Sassip.
Sassip frolicked some more.

"Man you're gonna get us CAUGHT!" said BT.
"No no, this is MY story!" said Sassip and frolicked some more. She messed up the whole pad.
"ARGH!" said Davy and Micky.
"But she's SO cute!" added Davy.
Sassip skipped over to Davy and nuzzled him fondly.
"Oh ho she's fondly!" said Davy giggling.
"Ugghghgh!" said BT, then she frolicked over to Micky and nuzzled his leg fondly.
"Get off yon cur!" said Micky.
"OH HE CALLED ME A CUR!" said BT stupidly. "What's a cur?"
"YOU know!" said Al.
"Oh. Do I? OH I DO! MICKY!" said BT and hit him hard.
Micky giggled and wandered away from BT.

Sassip punted her across the room for no reason and sent MT tumblin' after.
"OOOF!" said BT as MT collided with her laughing happily the whole time.
"SNOT FUNNY!" said BT hurtly.
"Snot?" said MT giggling insanely.
"No, MT, please get off your Mommy!" said Al.
"NO NO NO MY STORY!" said Sassip, sitting down on her pouch hard.
"Ooof..." said the pouch.
"Who's in there Sassip?" said Davy.
"Nobody, Davy." said Sassip.
"Oh.." said Mike.
"I know!" said Sassip. She turned around and whispered to her pouch.
Suddenly Sassip and Davy are on a nice little deserted island.

"Why're we here?" said Davy, looking in the direction of the wind & getting sand blown in his cute lil English face.
"Bee-cause they were DISRUPTING my story," Sassip griped.
"Now then. Once upon a time there was me & I was in the sea..."
"Ooohehee that RHYMED!" said Davy & rolled all over Sassip giggling his head off.
"Knock it orff," said Sassip & batted him into a tree. He then proceeded to whinge & Sassip made it all better.

"So, I'll start from the beginning," Sassip said, clearing her throat. Davy sat down against a tree & listened.
"I was born..." she began.
Davy groaned.
"Well, I WAS," she said gloomily. "Anyway, I was born and I was a CUTE lil baby sea monster oh yes I was I was a princess I was heeheehee," said Sassip & projected a picture into the sky.
"How you doin' that?" said Davy, sitting up. "I just CAN," said Sassip painfully. "Now then, I was cute, and I was adorable, and sweet and nice and angelic and I put all my pet starfish in my pouch because I LOOOOOVED them soooo much and they were named Twinkie and Ho-Ho and Ding-Dong and-"
"SASSIP!!" said Davy in a horrified tone. "WHY?!"
"Beeeeee-caaaaaaaaause!!" Sassip insisted peevishly.
"Aw man if you're going to hog the whole story to yourself, at least make it interesting. We don't wanna know about snack cakes getting all smooshed."
"But they don't get smooshed if you're in the water!"
"So? Micky & Dolenz are MUCH better names," said BT, popping her head up out of the sand.
"GO AWAY!!" said Sassip, and she did.

Sassip sat silently for a few minutes.
"Y'gonna say anything?" said Davy curiously.
"Yes. I'm waiting to see if anyone will interrupt me. Hmmm," said Sassip thoughtfully, & then stuck Davy in her pouch.
"Now, MY STORY. I was a cute lil princess I was I was..."
Muffled groans from inside the pouch.
Sassip ignored him and continued. "I put all my friends in my pouch, and some of my family members, and all my snacks. It was such a convenient storing place to store put store things in it."

"Sspcnbcrrnnt?" said a muffled voice.
Sassip opened her pouch, & BT the author popped her head out.
"Quit popping your head out of places!" scolded Al the author, popping out.
"I SAID...Sassip can you be coherent pleeeeease??" BT begged & ducked back down in the pouch, yanking Al with her.
Sassip frowned, thought, shrugged, & continued.
Davy squirmed out.
"Sassip, PLEASE!" he said. He was very hot. "I am VERY hot! Your pouch is too hot!!!!!"
Sassip ignored him. "Yes, my pouch. I never had a kid because when you caught me I was still pretty young."
"But we only caught you last month!" said Davy.
"Oh, well, um... anyway." said Sassip, thinking again.
She punched her pouch and muffled shrieks of agony were heard.

"Okay! So anyway, I was just so DELECTABLY cute that I had the best suitors ever! Some were royal blue and some were purple, but I liked the sea green one like me! But he didn't like me! So, I went off to sulk in the shallow waters and then you and Mike caught me but not really cause I wanted to be caught cause I knew you needed ME in your stories because I am so cool!" said Sassip.
Davy was about to say something when Sassip began again.
"So anyway, before you caught me and before the suitors came I was nice and happy. My family all had an island in the middle of the sea and it was so foggy and stuff that humans can't go there and most birds either and it was warm and sunny and friendly. we ruled all the sea monsters because we are special. One of my cousins lives in that Loch Ness lake thing and I dunno what everyone makes a big deal over her for. She's stupid... she wandered in and can't find her way out. Anyway, I had 25 starfish pets and they LOVED my pouch and they didn't get squished and they used to stick to me while I swam and they tickled so!"

Davy began coughing. "Sassip! I need water and I'm getting sand in my throat PLEASE can we go back to the pad?"
Sassip turned off the picture show. "FINE!" she huffed and they went back, but the others were not there.
"Where'd they go!?" said Davy.
"I sent them away." said Sassip.
Suddenly BT the author managed to wiggle her way out from under Sassip. "I'm FREEE I'M FREEE!" she called and ran home.
"Well that was odd..." said Davy.
"Ha, but I still have the other one!" said Sassip, punching her pouch.
"Mmmmhccggchhh!!" said the pouch.
"So anyway..." said Sassip, but half of the others reappeared.
"NO NO NO! ARGH!" said Sassip. BT, Micky and Peter had reappeared and were looking around.

"Whoa that was weird!" said Micky. "Where's Mike?"
"Where's Al?" asked Peter.
"Where's Davy?" asked BT.
"He's right THERE!" said Mike.
"No you're not here yet!" said Sassip, shoving him out.
"He's right THERE!" said Micky.
"Oh, I mean where;'s BT?" said Davy.
"No, that's BT's line." said Micky.
"Oh, uh.. where's BT?" said BT.
"NO! You're sposed to be asking about MT!" said Peter.
"Oh, where's MT?" said BT.
"Where we were dumb dumb!" said Micky grinning.
"Oh that was mean!" said Peter.
"I know but she set herself up!" said Micky.
"No you did!"
"I know...." said Micky rolling around on the floor in laughter.

"Okay, what part of SASSIP'S story did you not understand?!" shouted Sassip.
"Now now love, calm your little self!" said Davy, patting her.
"Look who's talking.." said Sassip rolling her eyes.
"Anyway, give us back Mike, Al and MT!" said Peter.
"I DON'T HAVE THEEEEMMMM," Sassip screeched. "I only have Al the author, and I'll let her go, okay?!" Sassip stood up (well not really but she didn't sit down anymore) and Al scampered away shrieking, "FREEDOOOMMMMMMM!" and occasionally jumping into the air & clicking her heels together.
Micky & BT & Davy stared after her.

"That is exceptionally strange," BT commented.
"Shaddap," said Micky.
BT sniffled & jumped into Davy's arms because she could. Davy looked baffled for a second, looked at BT, looked at Micky, looked at Sassip, & put BT down carefully.
"You are ODD," he said.
"I knoooowwwww," said BT & climbed up on Sassip's head, but Mike, Al, & MT were already there.
"EEK!" shouted everyone & fell off because Sassip's head barely had room for three.
"Sassip, how come YOU get your own story?" said MT. "I wanna story for meee all mee!"
"You had three or somethin man!" said Mike.
"Yeah!" said everyone.
"Oh," said MT & hugged Al.
"Aaaallllll I wanna lemmimade pop."
Al (who felt agreeable) poofed up one for MT & one for herself.

"Oh man don't, you're reminding me of when you thought you were five," said Micky tiredly.
"Huh? What're you talkin' about?" said Al.
"Uhhh heheh...tell ya later," said BT nervously, & stepped on Micky's foot.
"OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!" he shrieked. "BT, why did you do that? I thought you LOVED ME! Geez," he said.
"Oh! But I DOOOOO!!" she shrieked & started for him, but Sassip picked BT up by the hair with her teeth, & dropped her into her pouch.
Al looked perplexed. "What are you talking about?"
"You were five, and you were all cute & silly when you were that. I liked you more that way," Micky said thoughtfully.
The Monkees, Al, BT, & MT stood in their respective spots, totally mute.
"Well, okay," Sassip gave in & just put them all in her pouch except MT, who se needed for an audience, & Davy, who she liked.

"Now then...I suppose the suitors don't really matter because I never did marry one of them, although I do remember the pink one and I REALLY didn't like him. Everyone thought he was sooo great because he was pink. But I thought it was RIDICULOUS. Don't you? I know I do. But I digress. Once when I was playing with my starfish & my snack cakes in the anemone garden in the coral castle, I saw a lobster & it bit me and I was mad at it so I ate it!" she said & beamed.
MT shifted restlessly & said, "C'n I have a snack?"
"Not til I finish," said Sassip.
MT sighed & laid down against a tree. Davy was sitting on a rock.
Everyone was muffled and the authors were annoyed.
"Okay, since you shoved us in your pouch, the story is over NOW!" "No no I was just getting..."


Next Issue: For the next few stories, BT is not present & so it's just Al writing. You probably should go read Al's solo stories so you dun get confused & stuffs. The next story with Al & BT writing is...Sassip takes the crew to her home thingy and everyone is amazed.

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