Once upon a time in the land of Kirshner...
Being Human Only Gets You So Far

One day, .. well, one NIGHT, Sassip woke up in Peter's mind and decided she wants to sleep with Davy. So she poofed out and went over to Davy's bed. He was too fast asleep though, so she picked him up and brought him back to Peter's mind and since she was in his mind, she started to see what Davy was dreaming about. Unfortunately, Davy was dreaming about Sassip being a girlie, and suddenly Sassip was. She looked around frantically and then tried waking up Davy. Unfortunately he was still really asleep, so she tried waking up Al but Al was really asleep, so she tried BT, but BT punched her and went back to sleep so she woke up MT who was sucking on BT's hair.
"MOMMEEE!" shrieked MT loudly in BT's ear. BT woke up again and looked evilly at MT.
"WHAT!?" she said crankily.
"There's a strange lady!" he cried.
"ACK!" said BT, jumping up.
Al wandered over and stared at Sassip.

"That's weird. She kind of looks like me without glasses, but she has BT's hair and eyes," said Al sleepily. "Goodnight."
"NONO!" said Sassip.
"Oh, what? Who are you anyway?" said Al, rubbing her eyes and replacing her glasses.
"It's ME! Sassip!" Sassip said.
"Oh dear. What's happened to you? I thought you liked being a sea monster." said BT.
"I DOOO! I... well I wanted to sleep with Davy..."
BT made a face and started laughing at Sassip.
Sassip made a face and punched BT... twice. Once for punching her and once for her stupid teasing.
"Well, you can't say that because it just sounds nasty!" said BT sulkily.
"You have a sick sick mind!" said Sassip and began to cry.
MT looked at Sassip and also began to cry.
"Oh look what you did!" said Al irately.
"Sassip! Stop it at once!" said BT. It was then she noticed a very pretty looking tiara on Sassip's head. "SHINY!" said BT, grabbing it.
"Hey, give that back!" said Al. She examined it for a second and placed it back on Sassip's head. "Looks like a crown or something," she said.
"Well, I am a princess." said Sassip, who had stopped crying.
"Huh?" said MT, who was still sniffing.
"Well, I am ..er.. was the princess of the sea monsters..." said Sassip.
"Oh dear, well how did you turn into a human again?" said Al.
"Well, I tried to wake up Davy but he was really asleep so I brought him here and then I sorta overheard his dream and the next thing I knew..." said Sassip, starting to cry loudly.

Just then Davy walked in. "Oh... hey, who's crying?" he asked sleepily.
"She is," said MT, Al & BT, all pointing at Sassip.
Davy. Sassip. Twinklies. 'Nuff said.
"Your eyes...are like cupcakes...floating in-" Davy began dreamily.
"No no no no not tonight, let's all get some sleep and we can do this in the morning, it's LLAAAATE," BT said, shoving everyone.
"But she's so...divine..." Davy said.
"Oh, come off it," said Al & punched him lightly.
"Don't do that," said Davy, punching MT.
"WAAAHHH!!" cried MT. BT punched Sassip, who punched Al, who punched BT, who punched Davy. BT poofed out because she wanted sleep. But Mike was standing in the living room, looking out the window.
"Miiiiiike what're you doin' awake?" BT whinged.
"I'm watching my spark plug. I think it might be growing," Mike said, focusing intently. "What're you doin' out?"
"Oh, there's some chick and she's Sassip princess monster chick thing or something weird Davy sparkly twinkles, Al & MT blah blah," BT said.
Mike blinked. "Mmmmmm 'kay."
"OW!!!!!!!" BT screeched.
"Sorry," said Sassip, who had poofed in & landed on BT's foot. Micky came downstairs, followed by Peter.

"Why is people living room in our pad in here in sleepyyyy," Micky said incoherently.
"Oh, look, it's a girl," Peter said and smiled tiredly.
"Oh, well you're very perceptive," Mike said deadpan-ily.
"She's Sassip," said BT. By this time Davy had poofed in to follow Sassip & Al had poofed in for reasons unknown. MT had presumably gone back to bed.
"Wwhooooooooo??" Micky said, & got twinklies at Sassip.
"WHAT?!" said everyone in unison.
"I've never been to U-" Peter started.
"DON'T SAY IT," shouted BT & punched Peter, & then felt remorseful & patted him on his cute wittle head. Then she punched Micky for having twinklies.
"DON'T DO THAAAT Davy likes her and she likes Davy and no stop that no don't move stand there NOOO CUT IT OUT YOU FOOPER!!" she screeched.
Then MT poofed in. "Mommy? Can I have a drink of water?"
BT sighed. "MT, I taught you how to poof one up yourself...don't you remember?"
MT smiled & giggled adorably. "Ohhh, I forgot," he said & poofed out.
"We have to do something! You have to do something! Please!" said Sassip. She was walking around funnily cause she was used to having flippers.
"Wow, that's a pretty dress.. and tiara.." said BT, eyeing them greedily. "Where did you get them?"
"I dunno, they just .... hey stop looking at me like that!" she said to BT and Micky.
Then she looked at Davy and they both got twinklies again.

"Al can't you just let her stay this way?" said Davy.
"No, I don't want to.. but maybe you could be a sea monster with me..." said Sassip.
"Wow! That's the most Sassip's said in like 4 stories put together!" said Mike.
"Shhh...." said Sassip.
"Aw, come on Sassip! It'd be great! We could get married, have some kids...." said Davy.
"No! I want to have Sassip's kids!" said Micky. Everyone stared at him funnily.
"You mean you want Sassip to have your kids...?" Peter said unsuredly.
"YES!" said Micky, still twinkling away.
BT sulked in the corner. She kicked Micky in the shin and poofed out.
"YEEEEOOOWWCCHH!" shrieked Micky and fell over.

Davy and Sassip just kept on staring and twinkling.
Then BT poofed back in & turned Davy into a sea monster, just to be a pain. She quickly poofed back out again.
"EH?!" shouted Davy.v "Eek!" Sassip said & climbed up on him & hugged him around the neck.
"Oh, that is odd..." said Peter.
"What?" said everyone.
"Aw, no Unison? Er, I mean, usually Davy's on Sassip hugging her, and it looks funny that way..." Peter said laughing.
"That's nice," Al said, patting Peter on the head & rolling her eyes unsurely.
"But I love Sassip!!!" Micky whined.
BT poofed back in, dropped a brick on his head, & left.
"BT cut it out!" yelled Mike. "You're disrupting the plot flow!"
BT came back. "What plot flow?" she said, poked Micky viciously in the arm, & left again.
Mike poofed out & returned shortly.
"MT is ... taking care of BT," he said evilly.
"THANK you," said Micky relievedly.
"Davy's a sea monster," said Sassip & twinkled.
"You're a PRINcess," said Davy & twinkled.

Everyone put on sunglasses because the twinkles were starting to hurt their eyes, and besides that the sun was coming up.
"Kiss her it'll break the spell!" said Peter.
"OKAY!" shouted Davy happily.
"No no no no no no no...there is no spell, just BT's stupidity," said Al.
"But I wanted to kiss her!"
"Now, really, this is a family story," said Sassip.
"Then how come BT keeps doing terrible vicious awful things?" said Peter.
"Bee-caaaause," Al said painfully, "she's EEE-villlll."
"Not as evil as BT," said Micky.
"Oh. HI, Sassip!!" said Micky.

Suddenly Peter got up, & walked over to Micky. He took his left hand & put it over his face, & then did the same with his right. Then he jumped up & down around Micky in a circle happily.
"OH YAAYY!! I've always wanted to do that to someone else!" he said, beaming.
Micky looked confused. "WHERE AM I!?" he shouted.
Al sighed and poofed his hands down at his sides.
"Oooohhh," said Micky, spying Sassip again.
"UGH!" said Al, turning Sassip into a sea monster again. Unfortunately there wasn't enough room for two (barely for one even!) so Al poofed everyone outside. Sassip began to nuzzle Davy. Davy looked unsure.
"Oh lookit! Sassip's "kissing" Davy!" said BT stupidly.
Everyone but Al looked at her.
"Well, that's how sea monsters kiss, sheesh!" she said and stalked off to run away from the tide.
Davy looked freaked and ran around in circles in place.
"Sassip please no can't we just be humans I wanna be a human I don't wanna be a sea monster please?!" he said.
Sassip began freaking as well.
"Ah, Davy no can't we just be sea monsters we already are I mean really its fun and we can scare Babbit alot!" said Sassip.
Al shrugged. "Make up your mind!" she said.

Both of them stopped moving and looked at each other
"Well.. I guess we'd better both stay the way we were originally..." said Davy.
Sassip sighed. "Yeh, there's no way I could be a human.."
"And there's no way I could be a sea monster!" said Davy.
"Fine fine. But you're sure now?!" said Al.
They both nodded reluctantly.
"Alright" said Al, and she turned them back to their original states.
Davy and Sassip looked at each other and Davy ran over to Sassip.
"Oh, well, I guess its better than nothing!" said Davy stupidly and began sliding down her again.
"Darn! Sassip as a sea monster makes Davy so dumb!" said Mike.
"Its funny!" said MT clapping.

Micky was off to the side, and looked a bit guilty.
"Aha, yeh, guys, I was just kidding!" he said.
BT glared at him and as everyone walked off back to the Pad, Micky kept trying to make sure everyone knew.
"Really! I was!" said Micky.
"Riiiggghhttt..." said everyone.
"I mean, ME, liking SASSIP!? HA!"
Davy punched him.
"Well, I mean she was gorgeous but she's a SEA MONSTER!"
Sassip swallowed him.

The End.

Next Issue: BT shrinks Micky to fit into her pocket and no one knows where he is for the longest time.

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