How now brown cow
Learning To Fly: Mike's Foopy Flight

Al and BT were lounging around the pad when Mike rolled off the balcony and agiley landed on his feet. There seemed to be a hang up on the stairwell with Micky Davy and Peter.
"Ah, Mike, see you took the fast way," said Al, who was playing with popsicle sticks and glue.
"Mmm." said BT, munching on a BFPL sandwhich.
Mike wandered over to the stairwell again.
"Oh .. oh for cripes sakes! GUYS! GUYS! I have to get upstairs! HEY! HEY!" he scratched his hat and muttered, "Man, I wish I could fly.. sheesh.."
Al heard him and giggled. POOF. Mike had big ole dragon wings.

Peter, Micky and Davy stopped goofing around on the stairs.
"MIKE! What happened!?" Davy asked.
"Wow, he has wings!" said Peter.
"WHHAAA??" said Micky.
"Hey.. hey now come on BT!" said Mike.
"MEEE!??!! It was AL!" said BT.
Al shrugged. "Hey, you wished it! Its yours!"
"NO I DON'T WANT IT! TAKE IT BACK!" Mike screeched.
"No can do. Its permanent..." said Al.
"ARGH WHAT!?" said Mike, his voice reaching a fever pitch.
"Well... there is one way to reverse a wish, but I can't remember."
"Well I wish I DIDN'T have wings! I wish I couldn't fly!" Mike said frantically. Nothing happened.
"GUYS! We have an audition today! Mike can't go like that!" said Davy.
"Well..." Micky said thoughtfully, "he COULD..." and then burst into fits of giggles. Everyone looked at him disgustedly (except for BT, who looked like she always did at him, and Mike, who looked utterly distressed).
"NO I CAN'T!! I could never fit my guitar strap over these...THINGS," Mike said, fluttering his giant wings around.
"He has a point," said Peter. "Maybe we could just mention we happen to have a guitarist?"
"No, we can't do that," Davy said.
"Forget the audition!! I can't deal with THESE WING THINGS, period!!!" Mike shouted.
"Those were exclamation points, not periods," BT pointed out.
Mike shot her an evil camera-lens-cracking-I-bet-I-can-melt-your-film glare. BT hid behind Micky, who ran off to hide behind Peter.
"Let's see...what did I I even DO to deserve this? I just said I wished I could fly, and then I HAD them, and how come you can't reverse it Al?!?!" Mike shouted.
"Wellllllll, I know HOW, I just forget," Al explained.
"Well, you better remember!"
"Okay, lemme think," Al said, & fell into Deep Thought. Peter & Davy pulled her out.
"Oops...lemme try that again," Al said, and just thought.

Meanwhile, BT had gotten the idea from Mike that if she said something she wished it would come true, so she was running around shrieking, "I WISH MICKY LOVED MEEEEE," at the top of her figmental little lungs. Micky grabbed a table lamp, & sneaking up on BT, hit her over the head with it until she fell on Davy's feet.
"Ew, she's on my feet," Davy said, backing off. "Now then. While Al's trying to remember that, maybe we better see if this dragon-wing thing is going to cause any problems. Can you still walk around and do normal stuff, Mike?"
Mike moved around a little, & walked upstairs & back down. "Yeah, it's just awkward having huge wings. HEY!!" he said suddenly. "I can't tell left from right anymore!!"
"What??" said BT interestedly.
"Hey, you're unconscious," Davy reminded her.
"Oh," she said, & went back to unconsciousness, since it was Micky-induced.
"Why can't you?" Peter wanted to know.
"I dunno, I just can't...weird!!" Mike said.
Al grimaced. "Well, what do you mean by that!? How is that relevant at all!?"
Mike shrugged.

"Can you fly?" asked Davy.
"I dunno, didn't try yet," said Mike. He walked out to the beach and spread his wings and then proceeded to get whipped around by the wind. "No no no!" cried Al. "Like this!"
She poofed herself up some wings and spread them into the wind. She was instantly airbourne and gliding with the currents. "Now you try!" she shouted.
Mike sighed and mimicked her. Though he was a little shaky at first, he found it to be quite exhilarating.
"How do I land!?" he asked.
"Oh, well you use your tail as a rudder and..." started Al, demonstrating with her own lovely dragon type tail.
"Well great, I DON'T HAVE ONE!" shouted Mike.
"Oh, sorry!" said Al. She poofed one on.
Mike proceeded to land on Micky's face.
"Oowrughs Mike!" said Micky.
BT had since woken up.
"Al I want wings tooo!" she whined.
"No!" said Al, poofing hers away.
Mike glared at her. "Look, if I have to keep these things than SOMEONE else is going to have them too!"
"No Mike, we can't do that. Look I'm sorry! But I can't remember how to fix things when its been created by a wish...."
Mike sighed and headed back into the pad, getting caught on the doorframe.

Peter was still inside, trying to make wings out of a blanket.
"Peter, knock it off! Why does everyone else want wings!? They can have mine!!" he shouted.
Suddenly there came a knock on the door.
Davy looked through the door thing.
"Uh oh..." he said.

In barged 3 scientist type guys with a large Mike sized cage.
"We had a report of a big.. WHOA!" said one of them, grabbing a tranquilizer gun and shooting Mike.
"Don't do that!" Mike retorted.
He quickly fell asleep.
"YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM!" shouted Al, throwing herself over Mike.
"Hey, aren't you supposed to have wings too? We had a report of two flying people. We've come from the special weirdo lab to investigate!" Al looked at him funnily. "Me? Have wings!? Why whatever do you mean!?" she said innocently.
But Peter, kind soul that he was, began volunteering info.
"Oh, yeh, she gave Mike wings cause he wished it but she dun know how to undo wishes and then she put on her own wings so she could teach him how to fly and.. er.. ehe..." said Peter as everyone began to shoot him evil looks.
"ALright then, girlie, either you put on your wings or I'm going to shoot this short one here!" said the third man.
Davy shot Al a mean look.
"What? I don't know what you're talking about and... oh.. FINE." Al sighed and she poofed on her wings and tail again.
"AHA! Now, you, into the cage!" said the first man. The other two had gotten Mike onto a stretcher and they wheeled them away.
"Wait.. um.. you have to take that one too!" said Al, poofing wings and a tail onto BT, Micky and Davy and Peter.
"Whoa.. um. how.. er.. uh.. Darn! Call for backup!" said the second man.

Meanwhile, Al was slapping Mike on the cheek lightly to wake him up. She poofed all the wings and tails off everyone but Mike (naturally) and proceeded to look innocent.
"PETER. Do NOT blab okay! Keep quiet!"
Peter nodded.
The men came back with their boss.
"Well?" asked the boss.
"Here they are! Six weirdo freak what happened?!"
Al carefully turned Mike's wings invisible before the boss saw them.
"Well, the one on the stretcher.. should.. er.."
"Look, you bums! I don't see any weirdos! Just a bunch of stupid kids! Now let that dumb looking girl out of the cage and let's go!" said the boss.
Everyone was set free and Mike was laid on the couch because he was still a little groggy.
The men left one by one, taking all their freaky tranq-stretcher-cage equipment with them, staring at the group oddly. Finally Peter shut the door & leaned on it. Everyone exhaled.

"YAAAAYYYY FREAKY WEIRD PEOPLE GO AWAY NOW WE'RE ALL SAVED I LOVE YOU MICKYYYY," BT shouted, hopping around & ending up attached to Micky's head. Everyone darted to grab her & throw her across the room, and ended up in a giant pile on the floor.
"YOU'RE SITTING ON MY WINGS!!" Mike shrieked.
"Who is?" shouted everyone, scrambling to get up.
"ALL OF YOU!!" Mike moaned in agony. "GET OFF GET OFF OWWWCCHHHH!!" Al turned his wings visible again, and sure enough they were all tangled up in them. After about five minutes, everyone got free.
"BT, I hope you realize that's your fault," Al informed her coldly.
BT giggled & pointed at Micky's hair. "HIS HAIR IS ALL MESSED UP!!! EEEEHEHEHEHEHHEEHE."
Micky stalked upstairs to find a brush, muttering something about evil hyper figments.
"Okay, so no more flying," Mike said, trying to fold his wings up. One popped at an odd angle & the other one just stayed where it was. He sighed. "Yacckkkk I can't manage these at all!!"
Al poofed up a book entitled "How To Control Your Newly-Acquired Dragon Wings, by Gertrude Fingerhead." Unfortunately, it was soon discovered that the pages were blank, so BT took it & filled it with silly things about Micky.

Mike, after learning to fold his wings up neatly, could not get them unfolded, & so he toppled over in a vain attempt to sit down. "Waaaahahahhaahhh!! All this wing-practice is making me hungry!"
"Sheesh, Mike, that's awfully uncharacteristic of you," commented BT, dotting all the i's in "Micky" with hearts.
"YOU'RE WRITING IT!!" Mike shouted, rolling around on the floor frantically.
"Oh...well...hmmmmmm," BT thought. "P'raps I'd better let Al have a go," she said, & handed Al the blank book to write in.
"BT, this is no's just Micky's name over and over again," Al said exasperatedly.
"Well, FINE, take the story, see if I care!" BT snapped, & stormed upstairs to go after Micky & hopefully brush his hair (snowball's chance).
Al sighed and took up the weird crayon and blank book.
"Anyway," she said.
She poofed out and began scouring Peter's mind for her book on wishes. After what seemed like an eternity for Mike, especially with Davy trying to amuse him with various beverage waterfalls, Al returned with a large volume which he has strapped to the back of an enormous tortoise.

"Lessee.. wing wishes.. wing wishes.. Aha! 'When a powerful figment grants the wisher the ability to fly, the wisher with aquire a spanking new pair of dragonwings. These wings are ideal for both flying and gliding.. er.. blah blah blah... um.. ah. To remove a wing wish: First, the Figment must turn herself into a wingless dragon. Then the wisher must crawl into bed and fall fast asleep. Then the figment must carefully, without waking up the wisher, pluck off his wings and place them on himself carefully. If the wisher is wakened up any time before or until the figment has placed the wings on himself, then the wish will not be undone."

"Ah, well it sounds simple enough..." said Peter.
"Okay.. first me.. *POOF*... okay.. next Mike..." said Al.
"But I'm not tired.. ugh!" said Mike, running upstairs and crawling into bed.
"Make sure your wings are within easy plucking for me!" called Al.
Mike did so and then took 5 hours to fall asleep.

Al was just about to creep in and steal the wings when BT trod on her tail.
"YEEEEOOOWWCCHHH!" called Al, and Mike promptly woke up.
"HUH WHAT? ARGH AL!" he shouted and promptly laid back down to try and get some sleep again.
Al quickly shoved BT down the stairs & made sure Micky, Peter & Davy were all down there not bothering anyone.
"Miiiiike, are you awake?" she said very quietly. Then she snuck up & just as she was about to get the wings, she tripped over her own tail & fell out the door & down the stairs. Mike sat up abruptly, to find he still had wings.
"Sheesh, what is the hang-up? It's not that hard!" he griped, & laid down again.
Al held her tail until she got to the very edge of the bed, & then grabbed Mike's wings.
"Hey, I'm still awake!!" he shouted.
"Oops, sorry," she said, & when he'd fallen asleep, she grabbed the wings & put them on herself as quickly as possible, since it had taken Mike two full days to get to sleep this time. Al then poofed herself out of dragonness & rushed downstairs, screaming "IT WORKED IT WORKED IT'S FIIIINNE NOOWWWWWW!!"

Mike apppeared at the top of the stairs. "WILL YOU PEOPLE BE QUIET?! Man I've been awake for two days and I am SO tired!!"
"I'LL KEEP MICKY QUIET!!" shrieked BT. Al turned her into a saucepan.
"Oh, foopness," she said & clanked terribly until Mike got mad, filled her with water & put her on the stove.
"Oohhehehe this is fun!!" she said as she bubbled.
"That is the dumbest thing I've ever seen," said Al.
"'Ey let's make spaghetti!!" said Davy. So Peter & Davy made spaghetti & everyone ate it except Micky, who was wary that it had been cooked in a BT saucepan, so he had a BFP&L sandwich. And nobody had to deal with dragon wings or fruit bat wings or orangutan wings or breakfast cereal wings and...
"Skip a bit, BT," said Al.

And that was the end. Thank you very much and we'll be back later with our new story.

Next Issue: It is revealed that Peter has an evil twin with figments from another dimension, Micky is BT's father, Al & Davy are cousins, and Mike doesn't just have his hair under that hat - not to mention Mr. Schneider's secret.

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