Oh dear.
One More Remark Like That
And I'll Hit You With Me Purse

Davy was in the kitchen making some lunch when Micky and Peter ran in from the beach.
"Hey, Peter! Catch!" cried Micky, throwing the blow up ball at Peter. Peter had run to the other side of the kitchen, and Davy was at the sink. Micky was still at the door, and when Micky threw the ball, Peter took a lunge for it, hit Davy and fell on the ground. Davy ended up banging his head on the countertop.
He promptly fainted dead away.

"Hey, guys! What's the matter with Davy?" asked Al, who had just poofed out of Peter's mind. BT was soon to follow and attached herself to Micky straight away.
"GAH! BT sheesh!" said Micky, sitting down hard from the force of her.
Davy was still lying on the ground with stars in his eyes.
"Hey, how did Davy get stars in his eyes?" asked Peter.
"I dunno." said Micky, still trying to pry BT off his legs.
"Well, help me get him to the couch!" said Al, trying to lift Davy.
Peter and Al managed to put him onto the couch, and they got some ice for his lump on his head.

"OOOH that hurts!" said Davy, waking up.
"Ah, Davy man, you okay?" said Mike, who had walked in the front door. "Yeh... I think." said Davy.
"What happened?" asked Mike.
"Well, I threw the ball at Peter and Peter lunged for it and I guess he hit Davy on the way." said Micky.
"You remember who you are & stuff, right?" Al asked. "No freaky cases of amnesia."
Davy thought for a minute. "Nope...hi, Micky!!" he said, & started blinking frantically. BT looked at him kinda funny.
"Well, I'll go finish the lunch Davy started," said Peter, heading for the kitchen.
"Aahhh, that's okay, Peter, I'll do that," Mike offered, hoping to keep root beer out of the recipe.
Micky blinked at Davy. "Hi."

"Hi!" Davy said enthusiastically again.
"Um, Davy, you feelin' okay?" Micky said, looking a little concerned.
"Oh, sure, sure! I feel great!" Davy said, standing up.
"Uhh...good. BT...off. Now."
BT gazed up at Micky in an annoyed manner, & refused to comply.
"BT...I mean it. Off or I'll never speak to you again," Micky threatened.
BT thought about that for a minute, & got off. She sat down on the couch & fixed her eyes on Davy, never blinking once.
Davy just kind of looked at Micky in a funny way, & then before anyone even figured out what was going on, leaped at Micky & attached himself to the leg previously occupied by BT.

"Whaaaaaa????!!!!" Micky cried, & fell over backwards. "YOU GET OFF HIM RIGHT THIS INSTANT, HE'S MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!!!" BT shrieked in a very high-pitched voice, & flew at Davy. Mike walked in from the kitchen to see the three on the floor in a horrible mess. "CAT FIGHT!" he yelled.
"YOU STAY OUTTA THIS!" Davy cried, & jumped back into the people-mess. Al stared at them, until the initial shock wore off, and then said, "HEY!!!!!"
Everyone stopped where they were.
Davy was still frantically attached to Micky's leg, the other one being occupied by BT, both glaring at each other.
Al looked confused.

"Did I miss something?" she asked. "Davy.. uh.. what's the matter?"
"NOTHING! I just LOOOVVEEE Micky!" he said in a silly voice.
"NO! I DO!" said BT, punching Davy in the face.
"OUCH!" said Davy, punching BT back. Suddenly they went into a bout of slapping with one hand each, the other firmly anchoring themselves to the afore mentioned legs.
Micky on the other hand was whining at the top of his lungs.
Al made a face as she hated Micky whines.
BT started whining. "BUT AAALLLLL!!! DAVY'S STEALING MY MICCCKKYYY!!" she whinged on and on.
Al began to cry and started tearing out her hair.
Peter looked at her and laughed.
Al got angry and punched Peter.

And I say NO NO enough with the punching! this is a FAMILY story! Sheesh!
And back to the story.

Davy was no where to be seen in the time that the author (one of them) interjected her weird thing.
Everyone looked around, and finally he appeared on the balcony in a dress and lipstick.
"MIIICCKKYY!" he said flirtatiously.
"OOOH brother!" Micky said and covered his head with a pillow.
BT was about to fly at Davy when Al grabbed her and chained her to the ground.
"You do and I'll lock you in our pad! You know I can!" Al said viciously.
BT made a scared face and whimpered. "Vicious Al! Vicious vicious Al!"
"Darn straight!" growled Al. She checked the manacles and left BT there with an evil stare.
BT was whimpering.
"Man, did you have to be that rough?" asked Micky. He was annoyed at her but kinda felt bad. Al shot Micky an evil stare, and Micky and BT stood there whimpering together.
Al then walked over to Davy, grabbed him and carried him down the steps and into the kitchen. Davy tried to get at Micky so Al chained him down too.

"AH! Al! I must get to Micky!" he shouted and ripped the chains out of the ground.
"Oh man. he's like BT! SHEEESSHH!" said Mike.
Al signed and collapsed on the floor.
"WAAARGGH!" said Micky as Davy lunged at him.
Peter grabbed the chain though and Davy fell about 3 inches short of Micky.
Micky sighed in relief.
"WAAAAHHHHHHH Mickyyyyyyyyyy!!!" Davy cried, & flailed around madly.
"Guys, I can't hold him!" Peter cried, "help me!"
Mike rushed over & held on to the chain with Peter.
"Micky, maybe now would be a good time to go hide," Al suggested. Micky darted out of the room madly & went somewhere that no-one quite knew where.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO," BT wailed, & flopped around listlessly.

"Okay...DAVY...what is goin' on?" Mike demanded.
"What d'y'mean, what's goin' on? Where'd Micky go?" Davy asked.
"Look, forget about Micky for a sec, willya? Who are you?"
"I'm Davy Jones...are you feeling alright, Mike?"
Mike adjusted his hat, & turned to face Peter. "You try."
Peter thought for a second. "Okay. Davy, if you could be any kind of tree, what would-"
"No no no no!!!" Al said. "Where'd you get the dress, Davy?"
"Well, it's mine, obviously," he said, looking a bit put out.
"Aaaaaahhhh....right..." Al said, shaking her head & walking around the room, thinking.

Mike snapped his fingers. "Got it. Davy - who was vice president under Thomas Jefferson when he served his first term in the presidency?"
Davy looked blank. "What??"
"Ah...okay...I'm thinking of a number between 1 & 10. What is it?"
"Six," Davy guessed.
"YOU GOT IT!" Mike said, clapping gleefully. "Well, I guess he's fine."
"Ahh...she," Davy corrected him.

"WHAT?!!??" everyone said at once.
"She. I'm a girl...are you SURE you're all okay?" he said, looking at them a bit oddly.
"Ohmanohmanohmanohmanohman," Mike said, dropping his end of the chain & going to get a nice tall glass of cool ice water.
"No...noooo Davy you are NOT a girl," Al said emphatically.
"What d'y'mean I'm not a girl?! Of COURSE I'm a girl, I-"
Micky poked his head around a corner. "Can I come out nowww?" he said restlessly.
"OOH!!" Davy cried.
Al slapped herself in the forehead. "NO Micky! RUN!" she said.
Micky gave a look of surprise as Davy's eyes got twinkly.. at HIM.
"Oh... uh.. BYE!" he said and beat it the heck out of the pad.

Davy looked forlorn. "Ahhh... unrequited love..." he sighed.
"Um, Davy.. I think the main reason he doesn't like you is cause you're.. uh.. um... well a GUY." said Al.
Davy looked at her as if she just called him every name in the book.
"HUH! And I thought a fellow GIRL would understand! I am certainly NOT a smelly old boy!" said Davy and kicked the chain around his ankle a bit.
"But you are!" said BT, Mike and Peter.
Davy looked really confused and rather ill.

"Hmm.. maybe we shouldn't..." mouthed Al to the other guys.
"But then how?" mouthed Mike.
Al shrugged. "Hey, Davy, if you're a girl, how come you have a boy name?" asked Peter.
Al grimaced and BT was smiling sillily.
Mike just rolled his eyes.
"What you mean, Peter?" Davy asked. He still had that rather ill confused look.
"Well, your name is David. You know, a guy name!" said Peter.
"Nah, its just Davy." said Davy. "You must be out o your bird!"

"OH!!" BT shouted, and suddenly poofed out & then back in, thus freeing herself from the manacles. "I'm so silly, I should've thought of that earlier. NOW, *Davy*, what in the world do you think you're trying to pull?!" she said, & stared him down evilly.
Davy looked at her for a moment, & broke out in a silly high-pitched giggle. "BT is silly!!" he said stupidly.
BT opened her mouth to say something (probably something evil), but was stopped by the gag that suddenly appeared around her mouth. Al smirked & said, "Behave, BT."
BT just popped in & out again, & Al kept gagging her, tying her up, putting her in chains, etc. for about five minutes until BT got sick of it, & stayed tied to the chain attached to the floor.

"So...you're a chick now," said Mike.
"I've always been one!" said Davy.
"Uh...sure. But uh...well, okay, but canya forget about Micky?"
"Micky who?"
"YESSSSS!!" BT shouted.
"Oh, you mean MICKY!!" Davy said, remembering. "No, never!! I could never ever forget him..." he said dreamily, & stared at the ceiling in an extremely sappy manner.
BT shot him the worst look anyone had ever been shot, but it didn't faze him, as he was in la-la land.

Suddenly, Micky's head appeared in the window. Peter saw him and shook his head frantically toward the window.
"What is it, Pet'ah?" Davy said, turning around just in time to miss Micky.
"Aaahhhhh, the garden gnomes...they're-"
"Never mind, Pet'ah...I don't really want to know..." Davy said scaredly.
Peter shrugged.
Al winked at him.
Davy caught the wink.

"What you two conspiring about?" Davy asked suspiciously.
"MIIICCKKYYYY!!" cried BT, who saw him peek up again.
Al rubbed her face in frustration. "UGH BT YOU ARE SO DEAD!" she yelled menacingly.
"Medicine?" asked Peter.
"No Peter." said Al, and punched BT.
"WARRRRGHGHGHGHG!" said BT and crumpled to the floor.
"Get up BT! I barely grazed you!" said Al with a snort.
"Yeh I know." said BT evilly, "I hoped you wouldn't notice."

Meanwhile, Davy was slowly hunting Micky down.
"Ah, Davy um.. you see.. well.. ehe... um... HELLPPP GUYS HEEEEEEEELLLPPPP!!!" cried Micky.
"Ah, come on Micky! Just ONE little date!?" Davy was crooning.
"Well, I'll think about it... just let me alone!" said Micky.
"Come on! We can go away together were they won't ever interfere!" said Davy.
"NOOOOO I mean Noooo.. uh.. listen.. Davy it just won't work and um...."
Mike appeared and looked around. "Davy, listen, you've got to go back to the way you are as you definitely are NOT a girl, and dresses, man? They just don't LOOK right........" said Mike.
"But Mike, I MUST be a girl! I mean I have long hair and a cute baby face!" said Davy.
Mike sighed. "He's totally whacked!" he sighed again.
"SHE!" said Davy forcefully.

"COOOOMING THROUGH!" said some guy with a plank carried on his shoulder. Davy ducked under it as he passed, but Mike yelled out to him, "WATCH IT WITH THAT THING! MAN! YOU ALMOST POKED OUT MY EYE!"
"What!?" cried the guy, turning around abruptly. The long plank swayed back around and smacked Davy in the back of the head.
"Whaoooo...." said Davy, blacking out again.
"Oh man, here we go again..." said Micky.
Micky and Mike carried Davy back into the pad and put him on the couch again.
"Man.. she's really messed up, ain't she?" said Mike.
"Ugh.. she? I'm a guy, Mike...." Davy said, groggily.

"Wha.. OOOH! You mean you DON'T like MEEE?" cried Micky.
"What do you mean Mick? You mean.. BLECK! NO WAY! Now Al...." said Davy.
"Whew!" said Mike.
"What a relief!" said Peter.
"WAAAHOOO!" said Micky.
"OH YEH!" said BT attaching herself to Micky.
"BLECK!" said Al, hiding behind the table.


Next Issue: Micky gets a crush on BT and BT flips her lid (literally).

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