I Thought Love Was Only True In Fairy Tales
(And it is, until it's hit with a frying pan)

Once upon a time in the land of Kirshner for some reason, Peter was tra-la-laing around the pad when Davy stopped him.
"'Ey, Peter, what you doing, man?"
"Uh, I don't know." said Peter.
Micky slid down the steps.
"Hey guys! Where're Al and BT?" he asked.
"Oh eh, I dunno, lemme see..." said Davy. He grabbed Peter's head and knocked.
"Yeoch! David!" said Peter.
"Yo, you wanted us?" said Al.
"Hellooooo!!!" sang BT.
"Hellooooo!!" finished Al.

Suddenly Micky got twinklies in his eyes.
"Hey! They're MINE!" said Davy, grabbing at them.
"Wow...BT, I never noticed how...uh..." said Micky.
BT began fidgeting as she wasn't accustomed to being on this side of a crush.
"Uh...uh...Micky?!" said BT, panicking a bit.
"Wow BT man, you're like the grooviest!" said Micky, still twinkling.
Al nudged BT and giggled, Davy and Peter just stared and BT flipped her lid. Quite literally. The top of her cranial cavity just flew off and all her brains evaporated into the air.
"Ah, duh, Micky..." she stuttered dumbly.
Al sighed, regained her brain, plopped it back in and sealed it up.
"Thank you," BT smiled with relief.

Peter giggled, as Micky's twinklies were still flashing.
Davy nudged Micky in the side. "Mick...'ey, Mick...please cut it out...that's mine...mine...they're MINE...GIMME THOSE!" Davy yelled, & grabbed the twinklies away & stuffed them in his pocket.
Micky blinked a lot, & then resumed staring at BT, although he was twinkliless this time.
"What in the world kind of a word is 'twinkliless'?" Mike asked, walking in.
"Your eyes," Micky said dreamily at BT, "are like cupca-"
"MICKY!!" Davy shouted. "Stop using my lines, & my effects, and all my stuff, man!"
"Oh, sorry..." Micky said, barely listening.

BT had a rather freaked look on her face, & she looked as if she might either burst into tears, scream "MICKY I LOVE YOU", explode, or shrink until she disappeared. Although none of these things happened, as it turned out. But then they did. She blew her top again (much to Al's dismay) and she burst, came together, melted, screamed her undying love to Micky and ended up swoooning in his arms. Micky grabbed her up and sat down with her in his lap and they just kept looking at each other and doinking each others' noses and giggling.

"Oh for cripes sake, that's DISGUSTING," said Mike.
"Yeh, but at least they're not kissing," said Davy. The last thing he needed was Micky stealing his patented kiss.
Peter was in their faces watching intently. Lucky for him neither of them noticed or else he might have recieved a punch in the face.
"Man, what's up with Micky!?" said Mike.
"I dunno but he's freaking me out man! Totally!" said Davy.
"I think it's nice," said Peter dreamily.
"Ah you always were a romantic," said Davy.
"So are you!" said Mike.
"Oh eh, I forgot," said Davy. "It's better when its ME though."

Everybody stood around and watched BT & Micky make complete fools of themselves for about five minutes.
"Man, will y'all quit with the giggling, & the nose-doinking, & the staring?? I mean, it's just DUMB...the giggling...I'm getting a headache..." Mike said.
They kept giggling.
"No, please stop..."
More high-pitched giggling.
"PLEASE!! NO, PLEASE STOP!" Mike cried, & grovelled.
"Hi, Mike!!" BT greeted him cheerfully, coming out of her Dolenzic trance.
"I don't think Dolenzic is a word, either," Peter mused.
"Nobody asked you," Micky snapped, & got a bit of carpet fuzz out of BT's hair.
"Why is there carpet fuzz in BT's hair?" Al said.
"I dunnooooooo heehee," BT said stupidly & started staring at Micky again.

Mike watched them cautiously for a second, but neither of them giggled (although they were doing the stupid nose-doink thing).
"Sheesh, ya think we should frame them?" Davy asked.
"Huh?" Peter said.
"Wha...no...never mind Peter." Davy sighed.
"Al! Do something! They are completely grossing me out!" said Mike.
"Right...um...er...what!?" asked Al.
"I don't know, I don't care. Do SOMETHING!!! QUICK!" said Davy and Mike together.
"BT, you are a FIGMENT, and you are only 14 to begin with!" said Al.
"OOOH OOOH MICKY! MICKY SHE HURT ME!" said BT, grabbing her chest.
"HA!" said Al.
"Oh yeh!? Well...well you're too bossy and when you take a shower you sing really really loudly and it's always weird when you...walk into a room and..." BT couldn't think of anything to say.
"What?" asked Al.
"Uh...nevermind..." said BT. "MIIICCKKKYY DO SOMETHING!"

Micky stood up abruptly, dropping BT to the floor. "Ooops! Sorry Honeybun!" he cooed.
"AUGH NO! AL! MIKE! MAKE IT STOP!!" cried Davy clutching his ears.
Al was only slightly phased by this blatant show of affection. She swayed a bit but was otherwise in tact.
Micky walked right up to her.
"You don't scare me!" said Al, looking all the way up at Micky.
Al punched BT for no reason at all.
"HEEEYY!" said Micky. And he punched Al. But this is a family story so we're not going into much details.

After much good fun slapping about, Al had turned Micky into a cat and was caging him as BT attacked.
Grabbing Al's long hair she began pulling and yanking and beating Al all over.
"WARGH HELP HELP GET HER OFFFF!" shouted Al frantically, moving about the pad knocking things over in her frenzy.
When BT had succeeded in beating Al senseless she went over and freed Micky.
"MEW!" said Micky happily and doinked BT's nose with his paw.
BT giggled and doinked his cute moist kitty nose and they started it again. Davy grabbed his ears and began whining at Mike and Al to make it stop.

Mike went to find some aspirin.
Al was just regaining consciousness.
"Whoa....... OUCH what HAPPENED?" she shrieked. She then saw BT, and with a small growl turned her into a wooden block.
"Mrew?" said Micky.
"That's right, and if you two don't knock it off, I won't turn her back," Al said.
Micky walked over to Al in that funny snotty way kitties do, & banged his head into her leg & said "Mrrooowweeerrreeww???"
"Uh-uh. Uh-uh."
"MRRREEIAAOOOWWW!!" Micky said, & scratched her across the face.
Micky hissed.

BT started shaking frantically, & fell over on her side...or her face...you couldn't tell, since she was a block.
"Mrroowww??" Micky said, & sniffed at BT-the-block. He then proceeded to use her as a scratching post.
"Oooooobbfffff," the block said faintly. Micky quit, & went back over to Al.
"Meeeewwwwww," he said stubbornly.
"OKAY, okay, but don't try to kill me again," Al griped, & pasted a band-aid across her nose. Micky & BT were themselves again.

Nose-doinking resumed.
Mike came back downstairs, saw what was happening, made a very tired face, & walked back upstairs for more aspirin. Davy was hiding.
Peter smiled happily. "Aren't they cute?"
"NO," Al said loudly, & made them both mute. They kept nose-doinking, but at least they couldn't giggle high-pitchedly.
"I KNOW high-pitchedly isn't a word," Peter frowned.
BT turned to Peter irritatedly & mouthed, "Will you STOP that?!" & went back to doinking noses.

Eventually even Peter was growing tired of it. He had watched them for two straight days and finally started dozing off.
"Man they've been at it two days with no food, water or ANYTHING!" said Mike.
"They're...they're not human!" said Davy. Even HE needed rest and food and stuff.
"I know." said Al. She grabbed a large pan and SMACKED Micky on the head.
Micky blacked out and BT beat Al to death.
Davy and Mike attended to Al as Peter and BT attended to Micky.
When Micky started waking up BT smiled fondly.

"Oh honey possum dearest schnookums m'laddo!" she said.
Micky sat up and rubbed his head. "Ow, BT, whadyacallme?"
BT looked horrified.
She tried doinking his nose.
"Don't do that," he said sleepily.

"WAAAHHHHH!" shouted BT and beat Al some more.
"Hey it's not MY fault!" said Al running around.
"Welllll it appears as if he got into some of my love potion or something. Plus if he didn't eat anything soon he would have died!" Al stopped and pointed at the fridge. Micky was consuming anything and everything even remotely edible.
"Case in point," she sneered.

BT harumphed and stalked off to the back room where she gathered a bunch of pillows. Coming out she evilly threw one to each of the guys and they all attacked Al.
"AAHH NO STOP HELP HELP AAHHH!" she shouted and by the time BT was done Al was hanging by the ankle upsidedown from the balcony.
"Waaahhh someone getmedooowwwnnn!' she shrieked and BT laughed evilly until Al remembered she had silly powers and turned BT into a block again.

The End.

Next Issue: Peter forgets about Al, thus making she and BT rather sick-like.

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