Who
is This E. Coli Person? And Why is He Poisoning Us?
"Clearly,
he is an agent of THE MAN sent to keep us working stiffs down. Hey,
just because I recently made middle management doesn't mean I'm out of
touch with the average Joe Schmuck. My middle name is Schmuck."
- Rik Surrett, Sobey's Seafood Manager
"I
don't know who he is or why he's doing this, but you can rest assured that
as soon as they catch him I'll be right there, lining up to defend him.
Our whole legal system would fall apart if people like me were not there
to defend the guilty." - Shane Goguen, Lawyer.
"Should anyone be surprised in this male dominated, patriarchal, woman
hating society that something like this would happen? Men can do
nothing but destroy. It is the womyn that nurture, that create life,
that fight tyranny on a daily basis. Help! I'm being oppressed!
Can't you see them oppressing me?" - Tracy Hayes, Student,
Feminist, Volleyball Enthusiast.
"I'm
not sure what's going on, but I'm pretty sure they can't pin this one on
the HRDC." - Jennifer Savoy, Parliament Hill.
"You
know, it's people like E. Coli that give sociopaths and terrorists a bad
name." - Peter Berrigan, Surveyor.
"You
smell that? Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love
the smell of E. Coli in the morning." - Ron Savoy, Engineer.
"Oh
baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby." - Marty Foreman, Driver's
Ed Instructor.
"As
Canadians, it is our duty to see that justice is done in this case.
I suggest we take to the streets and destroy all water treatment plants
in the hopes of eradicating this threat from the face of the Earth.
Forever and ever" - Dr. Fantastic, Vigilante.
Copyright 2000 The Upper Canada Chronicle