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Stories!
The Homecoming Story
At homecoming we had some spare time before the actual dance, so we got some gasoline and glass bottles and blew up a molotov cocktail. It was pretty cool, but after that my hands smelled strongly of gasoline, so I went to the dance and shook hands with a whole bunch of people and then their hands probably smelled like gasoline too, but when I sparked my lighter, everybody's hands didn't explode... But I think we were the only people there that blew something up before homecoming. Because we're hard core.
Another story about a crazy night on the town
Yesternight, I went to Wendy's with Kelsie and Katherine (Kathrine, Catherine, Cathrine) and got a frostie. Then, we drove around and doorbell ditched some people for awhile, but that got kind of old, so we got a paper bag and put some dog crap in it and I lit it on fire and left it on someone's doorstep. Then I rang their doorbell and ran away. Kelsie and Katherine (Kathrine, Catherine, Cathrine) knew the dude to whom we did it, but I didn't so if he'd caught me it woulda been kind of awkward... Well, I don't know if he stomped it out or not. Probably not. But it was fun anyway. Then when I got home, there was a guitar case full of tons of peanutbutter cookies and a note from Kelsie asking me to go to homecoming. and I don't know how it got there.
A story about a crazy night on the town
Ok, so tonight I went to this High School football game with Kelsie and Kristin, and it reminded me of how cliquish and shallow these people are. Well, anyway, there was this obnoxious kid that was laying on the stairs screaming stupid stuff at people and this kid asked me to kick him so I did. And then I didn't see him for awhile and I saw that it was good. Well, also, this girl gave us these doughnuts to hold for her and we started selling them, and our price rates were as follows: $0.25 for people we liked, $0.50 for people we didn't know, $0.75 for people we didn't like, and $1.00 for people that were Ukranians and/or living off the government. Well, the game got boring and we were winning so we left early. Then we went to DQ and ate some blizzards and stuff. After that, we took someone home at like 10:00, but she realized that she'd lost her cell phone so we went to look for it. We looked for it for like a half hour and we still didn't find it. But when she went into someone's house to look for it, we burned a newspaper in their driveway. That was the most fire I'd seen for a long time. Which is pathetic. Well, then, we went to a food store and bought some candy... but instead I bought a new lighter (yippee!). Then we went to toilet paper people's houses. Well, it was too early so all the people still had lights on and were walking around the houses, so we decided it wasn't such a good idea. So instead, I rang their doorbell and ran back to the car and we drove away. We did that a few times to that house, then a few times to another house, then we got bored. So we went over to this person's house to throw rocks at her window and her neighbors across the street were sitting on their porch, watching us. Well, we threw rocks a few times, but I guess she didn't wake up. Well, we were acting kind of crazy and then the neighbors were staring at us, so I waved to them. Well, they didn't wave back. In fact, they just thought we were drunk and they said, "Glad to see you made it home alright." and we were like, "Oh... thanks..." and then we went to get back in the car and the neighbors were like, "do you need us to call you a cab? Are you sure you should be driving?" and we were like, "no thanks, we'll be fine." and then they were like, "You're going to make it home alright?" and we were like, "yes" and then we got in the car and when we were driving away, Kelsie drove crookedly and ran over some curbs to make us look even more drunk, it was funny. So after that we went to this place by the supermall where there are railroad tracks that are elevated so there's a huge bump and we drove really fast over it a few times and got some air. That was fun... So we were originally just going to look for the cell phone and take that girl back home, but it ended up taking until like 12:30.
A Probably Fictional story about a Security Guard and a Janitor and a kid that threw up and another kid that was bleeding profusely from a head wound
A story about a Gibson
Holy Crap, so today was pretty boring but I went on this triple date thing. And the plan was to make Christmas cookies, go Christmas caroling and then watch a Christmas movie even though it's September (obviously planned by a girl) but it wasn't planned so well. So, we show up at the house that we were gonna do it all at and for some reason it turns out we can't do it there. So we go over to this other house and we didn't have time to do the caroling (thank goodness) and we were too lazy, I guess, to make cookies so we just watched Frosty the Snow man. Well, right before we started the movie, Kelsie (the girl that lives there with whom I was on the date) was like, "Oh, my dad collects guitars." and I was like, "ok" and so she asked if I wanted to play one... well they have this huge amp and she was going to let me play some 12-string guitar, but instead she pulled out this 6-string electric and she was like, "oh, this isn't the 12-string, but you can play it anyway" and I looked at it and I was like, "Holy crap, that's a Gibson." and it looked frickin' awesome and sounded suite. So after that, we watched Frosty the Snowman. Well then, Kelsie breaks out Britney's Dance Beat. And I was like what the crap. But, so, they started playing that and I was pretending I was somewhere else... They even had the dance pad that you put on the ground and step on... It's kind of like a tiny twister game. Well, we ate some cake and stuff... After that we went home. It was pretty crazy.
A story about Chiemsee
So today (july 6) we got back from Chiemsee! It was awesome. The trip there took us 11 hours because our navigator fell asleep and we wound up in Switzerland. While the driver and navigator were scrambling around, frantically trying to find out how to get back on track, Cristina and I were in the back seat bouncing around and yelling excitedly, "We're in Swizerland!" Well, we eventually got to Chiemsee and it was raining. We caught the last few minutes of a fireside, then went to eat dinner at the buffet. After dinner, we went and did... something... and later we played pass the sign for like 2 hours. At about 12:30AM, I went to sleep because everyone else started playing this game called, "choo-choo train" or something. They were running around outside acting like a train and making train whistle noises. I was like, "what the crap," so I went to bed. When I woke up, we went to this devotional and then we ate breakfast. After that, we all got on busses and went on this tour thing. Cristina made me take pictures. >:( We went to this mine and they gave us miner uniforms and butt-flaps. I was like, "I have this butt-flap, why am I even wearing pants!?" Well, we went on this little shuttle thing and then we slid down a slide into a big cavern. There, we listened to some stuff and went on with the tour. We watched a movie and this guy was talking and, at one point in the presentation, he said, "And this is how it looks like!" and it was funny. He also called salt "white gold" but we thought he said "white goat" so that was wierd. Then, we went into this cavern that was taken up by a little 3-foot deep "lake" of salt water. I tasted some salt water. Anyway, later we went to a restaurant and then to a bunker. Then, we went home and hung out. Later that evening, we played pass the sign for like 2 more hours then, at 1:30AM, we jumped off the dock. It was cold, but not too cold. There were people that were like, "I'm going to remember this forever" and Cristina was all, "I thought it was just a cheap thrill..." Well, then we talked for awhile until 3:30AM, then I went to bed. I got up at like 9:45. We had a fast and testimony meeting and then we ate lunch and came home. The ride back only took like 5 hours. I was glad.
A story about the Czech Black Market
View the article here
A documentary about a quarry trip
There is a documentary so magnificent, that I decided it should be in slide-show format. View it here.
Landstuhl Castle Invasion
Today Cristina, Ashley, Erik, and I were going to go see the 8:00PM showing of X-Men 2 but they were all sold out so we bought tickets for the 11:00PM showing. Then we were like, "Now what," and we had 3 hours to kill so we went to Burg Nanstein near Landstuhl. We were going to buy tickets, but we were like, "tickets are for rabbits and sissies." So we decided to infiltrate. Actually, I decided to infiltrate. I climbed up the wall and it was slow-going and handholds were scarce-and old-and they usually would break off in my hand-but I made it anyway. Then, when I got to the top of the wall, I thought, "now what," and everyone else couldn't get up because they were too short. And so I felt superior. And I was superior. Then I climbed down and we hiked around my newly-conquered castle for awhile, but all the sudden one of the windows opened and, next thing I knew, somebody had stuck a cannon out of it and were like, "Deutschland Rocks!" and they shot at us and I was like, "America Roc-" and I was hit in the face with a bowling ball and I was like, "-ks." and then I pulled out my axe and I leapt at the castle and was like, "For the commonwealth!!1!11!!!!1" and I hacked at it and it fell down and the German radical that had shot me in the face with a cannon ball bought us Icecream in recompense. And we let him come to the movie with us. That movie was cool, I recommend it.
Nightcrawler Rox.
Quarry Trip: April something, '03
So, today, Erik and I went to the Quarry after school. It was crazy there were thousands of people there. There were some Germans drinking alcoholic beverages on top, there were two fishers, a boy and his dad, a couple of teenagers, two hikers, and two elderly people with their dog. (elderly meaning older than me) So it was going pretty slow at first. We climbed some rocks but it was too cold to take our shoes off so it sucked. Then we ate lots of food and climbed down to the bottom. We looked for the burnt duck, but it was gone. That sux. We figure someone probably threw it in the water thinking it would float and/or fumigate profusely. Well, then we climbed back up and I made a really loud sound to attract everyone's attention and I think they thought I was some kind of circus freak because they were staring at me for like five minutes, expecting me to do a trick. Well, then, the best part. We walked over to a place to which we had never been and were exploring and we found this jacked up old Volkswagon that we figure must have fallen off the top at some time because there is absolutely no way it got there by any other means unless it was dropped out of something that flies. Like a bat. So we looked at it for like a half hour, it was intriguing. Then we found a refridgerator door and we'll probably shoot something through it later. Well, after that, we were on our way out when, atop the rubble pile, we noticed some nice-looking polished granite. Upon a closer inspection we noticed it was a tombstone. Named and dated more than 40 years ago. The guy's name was Adolf, and the last name didn't start with Hit-. So we found a chunk of it that was already broken off and took souvenirs. Then, on the way home, Erik was driving and all of the sudden he was like, "What the balls is that!?" and this person was standing in the middle of the road and he suddenly jumped on the hood and was like, "I am Adolf, give me back my stone. er." and I was all, "no way, it's mine and then Erik turned on the windshield wipers and all was well.
Lunch Trip: April 23, '03
So, today, craig and I went to the BX for lunch and bought some pizza. Well, on the way back we stopped at Craig's house and he paid me back in bagger money (all one-dollar bills) and then we played duck hunt for a few minutes. That crazy mofo's got more pieces of stuff in his room than... something with a whole frickin' lot of pieces of stuff. In it. Well, we gave his mom a piece of cold, rubbery cheese pizza and that was my good deed for the day because I think I only need one. Then we still had one piece of pizza left and we saw some german guy "eating weeds" near our school, so we gave him a piece of pizza. I was going to tell him it was because I appreciated the work he was doing to better our military community, but I noticed he was only speaking German, so he probably didn't know English. Then we went back to the school and I thought it was a lunch break well wasted.
Quarry Trip: April 9, '03
So, today we went to the quarry. It rocked. First, upon arrival, we built a fatty bonfire. Actually we just had one of those "put fire here" logs and we put the fire there. Then we roasted some bratwurst (and ate it) whilst Erik was trying to catch the much coveted "wahoo fish." After we ate our bratwurst, Jessie, Craig, and I climbed down the cliff, met up with Erik, and burned a plastic duck. Then Erik caught a lizard and let me hold it and I was all, "freedom!" and I let it go, but then he caught it again. Actually I just accidentally dropped it. Then we went rock climbing, but we didn't jump in the water because it's still too cold. Bummer.
A story about my Childhood.
The Story that Previously Occupied this Space has been Removed Because No one Cares.
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