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Snowbeast (1977)


Cast:

Clint "Night of the Grizzly was the greatest Western-monster movie ever..." Walker is
Bo "Buford Pusser of the later Walking Tall" Hopkins is
Yvette "Save me from the Devil Dog: The Hound of Hell " Mimieux is Ellen Seberg
Robert Logan is Tony Rill
Sylvia "I don't trust Damien" Sidney is Mrs. Carrie Rill


What the box says:

Everything would be great at a plush ski resort if a human-eating snowbeast would just knock it off. Made for television.


Plot:

In a snowy forest, a furry arm is glimpsed.

1970s Suzy Chapstick skiing ensues by Jennifer. Her friend, Heidi, wants to call it a day. Ominous music plays as Jennifer is being watched from the woods.

She spots some strange animal tracks. Heidi heads away when the Snowbeast gets Jennifer.

The ski-lift is very bust at the Rill Ski Lodge. The Snow Queen arrives, and the peasants rejoice.

Tony Rill and Buster snowmobile to the rescue lodge. They question the hysterical Heidi who claims a monster got Jennifer. They try to convince her to show them where this happened. Tony convinces Heidi not to call anyone yet. Granny Rill will watch Heidi and keep her from blabbing about a killer monster.

Skiing ensues. Slaloming intercut with searching, Tony find a torn and bloody parka. He hears a strange roar.

Elsewhere, back at the lodge, several teens welcome 1968 Olympic ski champion, Gar Seeberg. Well, Gar is desperate for a job and convinced that Tony will make him beg. Ellen, Gar�s wife, tries to get him to abandon the ski industry.

Tony tells Granny about the Snowbeast. He thinks it might come down closer to the lodge. Granny warns him how the monster could bankrupt the lodge. She suggests closing that area where the girl vanished. In fact, she suggests that an avalanche killed the girl. Well, brilliant Tony doesn�t mention the bloody parka.

Tony finds Gar and gives him a job.

Later, Tony checks with the ski patrol again. The area is to be closed off immediately.

Buster heads off to search for Jennifer again. He hears the Snow beast. Falling down a cliff when he is grabbed as the screen fades to red�

Snow beast is watching some people near a barn. The kid runs into the barn and comes out shocked. The dad goes in and finds a body.

In town, Tony tries to flag down the Sheriff who has to leave on a call about a body.

Tony meets with Ellen. Relationship fu ensues. She heads out. Gar finds Tony who asks if his rifle skills are still that good. Granny pops up. Tony will tell Gar about things later.

At the farm, the body is taken away. Sheriff feels as if he�s being watched.

Hot tub, Gar and Tony talk about Bigfoot. Gar is expected to kill the creature. Tony reveals the monster killed a girl.

A deputy comes around and leaves a message for Tony. That gets Ellen suspicious with her trusty sense of nosiness for being a reporter.

Skiing Ellen ensues. Near the farm, she finds some strange tracks as the screen fades to red.

Snowmobiling Tony and Gar ensues.

Ellen is still following the tracks.

Tony and Gar reach the farm where the body was found. Tony is sure it is Jennifer.

Frustrated Ellen gets off her skis.

Tony talks with the Sheriff about searching for Jennifer yesterday. The Sheriff has hears the talk of the Snow beast. Tony admits he saw it.

Ellen finds some blood which does creep her out. She heads away.

Sheriff theorizes it is grizzly that woke out of hibernation too soon. Bigfoot myth ensues. Gar knows all about it because Ellen investigated it. The Sheriff will let the story of the crazed grizzly be used. Tomorrow, he, Tony, and Gar will head out to kill the Snow beast.

Ellen is skiing when she wipes out. Ominous music plays.

The winter carnival is being set up for the presentation of the Snow Queen in the local high school gym. The school band is playing as more and more people back the bleachers.

The Snow beast approaches and breaks a window, terrifying the Snow Queen. Everyone starts running around and panicking. Granny falls over and is slightly wounded instead of stampeded by a heard of ski-lodgers. Fade to red.

The Sheriff arrives on the scene.

Granny realizes Tony was right. Unfortunately, this epiphany doesn�t curtail right before her horrible death like in most movies.

Gar is having flashbacks about Winter Olympics like soldiers do about war. He heads out to ski in the middle of the night to ski away some tensions. Later, Ellen finds him. Something happens about some sort of relationship decision before they get to the lovin�.

The morning brings a chopper in the sky. Unfortunately, it won�t be attacked by any sharks or grizzly bears like some other movies. Point of View monster attack of Gar and Ellen�s cabin ensues and siege as the door is rattled. Snowmobiling Tony and Sheriff to the rescue.

Gar and Ellen run from the cabin and to Tony as the screen fades to red.

The ski lifts are empty. The lodge is as dead as high school on Saturday.

Buster is having a funeral. The guy who was killed by the snowbeast at the first fade to blood red commercial break.

Deputy announces the creature has been killed. The Sheriff drags in a grizzly. The peasants rejoice over the creature�s death.

In town, Gar hunts up the Sheriff. He is positive the grizzly wasn�t behind it. More Bigfoot myths are discussed. Ellen is sure that Bigfoot is in the mountains nearby.

Well, the elite strike force of Gar, Sheriff, Tony, and Ellen is assembled. They head off into the mountains.

Snowmobiling ensues. Snowbeast watches them leave the camper. It trashes some of the skis.

Great White Hunters return and decide to set watch.

Gar and the sheriff stand the first watch. Tony finally makes peace with Ellen.

In the morning, the Snowbeast unleashes a log slide that overturns the camper, and the Sheriff is trapped inside.

The Snowbeast approaches as the screen fades to red.

Tony, Gar, and Ellen beat feet away. Later, they decide to return to the camper. Ellen heads inside trying to find the rifles. Tony is able to find the Sheriff�s revolver in the cab of the truck. He is able to shot the snowbeast who starts to run away.

Gar gets the revolver and skis after the creature.

Tracking ensues. Tony and Ellen pick up the trail.

Snowbeast charges Gar who pumps it full of lead. Out of bullets, Gar braces a ski pole as a spear and impales the charging Snow Beast.

Ellen embraces Gar as the screen fades to red.


What I say:

Too bad there wasn't a law preventing the rip-off of Jaws. It has been ripped off by so many other movies. It fed plenty of bad Italian rip-offs, made-for-TV movies, direct to video movies, and most of Peter Benchley's other novels. Water carnival at a beach is substituted by a winter carnival at a ski lodge. Replace the shark with a cold weather monster. The 70s had quite a bit of sasquatch movies in fact Steve Austin, the 6 Million Dollar Man met Bigfoot who turned out to be an alien robot...

Part of the synopsis doesn't make much sense. My usual DVD-Rom software wouldn't play this movie so I had to use another one which doesn't allow for screen grabs. In fact, the sound had to be turned up twice as loud as usual and it didn't really seem to help hearing some of the conversations in the movie.

Let me get the avalanche and economic side of not believing in the creature. Tony leaves the one piece of evidence that indicates something killed Jennifer. Leaving behind to mark the spot. Wouldn't a guy off with ski rescue have some kind of markers or just drop a glove, etc? Jaws has personified the town or local industry that tries to cover-up the monster for economic benefit. Peter Benchley can't seem to escape that from any of his other novels. Far too many cheap made-for-TV movies of previous decades and direct to video movies of today have worn that idea into the ground so far it should be popping up in China in the next couple of weeks.

The made-fot-TV movies of the 70s have a tried and true formula. The past couple of years, we seen a few killer sharks or bat movies on CBS. However, the 70s had them almost weekly. This movie may not have stock footage but has plenty of padding with skiing and snowmobiling. I don't think Hot Dog: the Movie had quite as much skiing. Each of the kills are shown as the movie fades away to a commercial. The fade to blood red instead of black seems to make it seem more appropriate. It was done the same way with Moon of the Wolf. Well, not every break has a kill. they do end on a supposed shocker moment.

Sometimes, gore isn't enough. A imagination can picture something far worse than corn syrup and foam latex. Modern audiences have been desentized to not being able to think much if at all for themselves and expect the money shot or the bloody shot. The 70s made-for-TV movies couldn't get graphic like a current movie like Hostel. Cererbral horror will get gore fans to feel cheated.

I'm not sure what the complexities of the triangle between Gar-Ellen and Tony are meant to be. Tony sees to have been pining for Ellen and hitting on her and she pops up again. I almost think this is a rip-off of the Mrs. Brody and Matt Hooper affair angle from the novel of Jaws. Gar either doesn't see what is going on or just doesn't care. Though, I hate to include the swimming pool scene with Bo Hopkins in his Polar Bear man swimming trunks. That is graphic horror to this reviewer.

The snowbeast costume isn't very good. As comparable to the flea-bitten gorilla suit seen in many other movies like Ape and Ape Man. It is almost as bad as the gorilla suits in Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla. However, it still is light years ahead of any of the Larry Buchanon ping pong eye-ball monsters.

Bo Hopkins could have been replaced with a tree trunk, and no one could have told the difference...I've seen more emotional depth from a sweat sock. Unfortunately, he wasn't given the opportunity to wield the Walking Tall stick to beat the Snowbeast down.

Clint Walker isn't in the movie that much. At least, he doesn't play the Sheriff like Chief Brody from Jaws. At first, he is sure the grizzly he killed was the killer. Though, his death has to be one of the most embarrassing of all time. He's in a camper that falls over on its side. We don't have any idea if he is impaled by anything or trapped while the others run away and is eaten by Bigfoot.

You'd think any group who is hunting a monster and has part of the group standing guard would have them carry guns. Well, if so, you'd be a greater tactical genius than anyone in this movie. Even better, is they can't find any of the rifles when they desperately need them. Woudn't snowshoes be a good idea in this much snow to keep from sinking in the drifts?

With as many people, the Snow Beast killed. He wasn't all bad. How intelligent is the Bigfoot? At first, it seems to be just the typical wild animal. By the end, it is setting booby traps like the rolling log slide that would impress MacGuyver. The rampage he caused at the gym was supposed to be shocking. I thought it was the funniest thing in the movie. Guess, that shows how antisocial I am. Is that a surprise for anyone who has created and writes bad movie reviews on a site called sideorderofninjas? The only question is am I writing reviews about bad movies or writing bad reviews about movies?



2 1/2 NINJAS

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Quotable Dialogue

"It's what we used to call hot-dogging."
"I quit being a skier in 1968 because the other skiers were mavericks!"
"You really don't want a job. This is just some damn excuse to back off and still feel right about it "
"I'm not insensitive just realistic."
"A legend is just that, a legend."


Morals of the Story

All ski rescue personeel wear bright hunter orange.
It is easy to ski around trees.
Pickup trucks are excellent coroner wagons.
American high school bands play "Ruled Brittania."
Teenage girls love Bo Hopkins.
The moon is as bright as the sun in day for night shots.
Ski patrol members are entitled to 21 gun salute funerals.
Bigfoot hates beauty pagents and skis.
Bigfoot can easily set up booby traps of rolling logs against his enemies.
People have their car windows down in the middle of the mountains.




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