Revenge of the Ninja (1983)

Cast:

Sho Kusagi is Cho Osaki
Keith Vitali is Dave
Virgil Frye

What the box says:

The Ninja are back! Brandishing swords and fists, leaping and kicking, wielding blow guns and explosives, they know a thousand ways to kill. Martial arts legend Sho Kusagi delivers a heart-pounding display of strength, speed and lethal Ninja know-how in this action-packed thriller that "Takes us back to the good old days of the kung fu extravaganza" (Screen International).

When a band of Ninja assassins slaughters the family of Cho Osaki (Kusagi), he flees to America in the hope of building a new life. A former Ninja himself, Osaki tries to escape his deadly past but soon discovers he has become the pawn of a ruthless drug trafficker - an American Ninja intent on killing anyone who crosses his path...including Osaki!

Plot:

Numerous Destro references are peppered throughout this plot description...

In a traditional pagoda next to a babbling stream, things look peaceful and serene. However, ninjas are crawling all over the place.

I see London, I see France...I see Sho Kusagi's... A family is doting on a baby when the ninjas attack. A woman manages to hide the baby before being killed. The ninjas retreat.

Braden, the white guy, asks Cho about moving to America. They discover Cho�s family slaughtered. The ninjas attack Cho. Full raging Sho Kusagi ensues on the ninjas.

While, Braden is shooting ninjas, Cho is catching arrows in his hands and teeth. Dude, this guy is good�

Sho Kusagi ninja fu ensues�Ninjas versus an angry Sho.

Cho�s mother arrives while Cho finds his son, Kane. Braden wants Cho to leave Japan. Cho�s family died on this land. Cho and mom talk it over. He decides to go to America but is warned about not being able to outrun his destiny.

6 years later, in California, Kane leaves school with his grandmother. Some street toughs decide to pick on the 6 year old Kane. He thrashes them soundly. Cho arrives to get onto his son for fighting. If half a dozen 12 years old try beating my 6 year old son, I wouldn�t be too angry for him going David Carradine on them. Granny wants Kane to be taught the way of the ninja.

Cho refuses to follow the way of the ninja. Definitely, he will follow the way of the ninja by the end of the movie. He only practices the katas for tradition.

Cathy, the blonde strumpet, arrives for her lesson. She loves helping Cho. Cathy longs for Cho�s chopstick in her miso soup repeatedly. OK, that was a bad sexual reference. They spar. However, Cathy forgot her pants. So, the pantless sparring ensues. The pants-clad Cho wins hands down.

Braden arrives at the gallery Cho is setting up featuring Japanese dolls. Cho explains the ninja to Braden�s disposable girlfriend.

Later, Kane accidentally breaks one of the dolls filled with white powder. Cathy chews him out but will take care of it and not mention it to Cho.

Cathy reports to Braden that Kane broke a doll filled with heroin. Is this a movie that has drug dealing and ninjas? It gets better�

Braden meets with his buyer, Caifano. Braden wants his money to pay off his Japanese partners. Caifano refuses and forces Braden to wait. Braden threatens them not to anger his partners.

Braden is clad in his quite studly Destro mask and ninja suit. While some of Caifano�s men are on a picnic. A silver masked ninja strikes.

Caifano is told on the street how the Japanese are managing to take over the heroin trade in several cities. This informant is quickly silenced with a throwing star.

In an apartment, a couple is going at it like 2 Kandorian pigs in heat. A blowgun takes care of the guy. Destro ninja drowns the innocent and naked girl.

The cops are wheeling the bodies out. They try getting Caifano to tell them what is going on.

Cops watch Dave Hatcher, martial arts instructor, spar. They show Dave an X-ray of one of the killed Mafia guys. Dave�s opinion is no man could do this without special training. Dave has Lieutenant Dime to Cho, an expert on Japanese history.

Cho and Dave spar. Dave asks for Cho to help the police.

At the police station, Cho and Dave explain the training a ninja undergoes. This may be a first. Lieutenant Dime wants Cho to help the police. The police ask an outside expert for assistance and don�t mock him.

Cathy refuses to ride the Braden train. Caifano calls Braden. Cathy listens on another extension to arrange a meet to buy the drugs.

Caifano stages to have some Indian steal the drugs from the gallery. Yes, Virginia, an Indian is in a ninja movie�

Spirit Bear will fight the Ninja....

Cho finds his dead mother. He takes the family seal she wore on a necklace. The cops arrive on the scene. Kane is missing.

Mr. Fuji, Braden�s henchman, is in his sumo diaper and about to have his way with the Cathy the strumpet. An angry ninja kills him. Cathy is ordered to find Kane. Destro hypnotizes her to do his will.

Kane is wandering around the streets.

Braden readies to go out on the town as the studly Destro Ninja.

In the gallery, the Indian and several rednecks pack up the dolls. Cho arrives to find the dolls gone. He manages to find the thieves loading the dolls into their van. A fight ensues so much for Cho not using the way of the ninja. The Indian fights Cho. A sweet Indian Ninja fight ensues.

The van gets away. Cho manages to catch up and ride the top of the van like a surfboard before jumping inside. Another fight leads to the van crashing.

Cho contends with a tomahawk wielding Indian. During the fight, the van is able to drive off. Cho catches up with the van and is dragged for several blocks before being thrown from the back bumper.

At the gallery, Cathy tries calling Cho to no avail.

Granny is meditating when Destro sneaks in the gallery to find the dolls gone. Granny follows after him. Nunchuck wielding Granny ensues. Dude, Granny got some mad ninja skillz! Destro manages to wound her before she disappears in a puff of smoke. Destro deducts where she is and kills her. Kane is on the roof looking through the skylight to see Destro unmask. It is Braden. He chases after the little Kane. Roof running ensues. Destro has lost Kane.

A bloody and battered Cho returns to the gallery.

Cho finds his dead mother. He takes the family seal she wore on a necklace. The cops arrive on the scene. Kane is missing.

Mr. Fuji, Braden�s henchman, is in his sumo diaper and about to have his way with the Cathy the strumpet. An angry ninja kills him. Cathy is ordered to find Kane. Destro hypnotizes her to do his will.

Destro is creepy wearing his ninja mask...

Kane is wandering around the streets.

Cho is at the temple. Dave offers to help him. He has some info on the thieves. They go to the park and try to interrogate the Village People. What else would you call these guys?

Is this a gang to fight or the Village People?

Cho starts fighting with the gang: cowboy, biker punk, Asian guy, and workout guy.

A crowd gathers to watch the fighting. Dave is cow punching the cowboy. Cho is whaling on the Asian guy. Our heroes will trade off and beat different members of the Village People. Cho is trouncing the cowboy with a pair of Oriental fans.

The workout guy pulls out his gun to open fire. A throwing star later, he isn�t a problem.

Kane is still wandering around the streets before returning to the dojo where Cathy is waiting. Kane senses that she is evil. A little Japanese boy is fighting a fully grown blonde strumpet. Stick fighting eventually ensues. After Kane wins and walks away she knocks him out from behind.

Kane is brought to Braden. Cathy apparently is no longer hypnotized. Braden�s tattooed henchman is to take care of Kane. Braden is going to take care of Caifano once and for all. He readies his ninja gear.

Caifano has his men all packing heat to stand guard.

Dave and Cho arrive at the dojo. Cathy calls Cho that Braden plans to kill Kane and used Cho to smuggle heroin into the country. Braden is after Caifano. And, the most important thing is Braden is a ninja. Braden cuts the call off and will take care of Cathy, too.

Cho will have to stop Braden.

Braden has a white tank top clad Cathy tied into a hot tub with high pressure jets shooting at her face.

Cho opens his secret stash of ninja stuff. Cho prepares himself at the shrine. Drawing his katana and breaking that little paper strip meant to symbolize the sword won�t be drawn again, we see that Cho is ready.

Caifano�s men are on guard. Braden tracks the guards. Apparently, our Destro looking ninja bought some of Hawkeye�s trick arrows. He shoots an arrow from another building and using an intricate pulley system slides into Caifano�s building. Picking a lock, a guard spots him. Destro uses his ninja marbles and jacks to kill the guy.

Cho is outside the building, watching the guards.

Braden is roaming around the building and dispatching guards easily.

Cho gets pass the guards and uses his spiked gloves to climb the building.

Braden is still running around whacking more guards.

Cathy is still in the hot tub of death. Kane is locked in a nearby steam room and trying to escape his bonds.

Cho climbs into the building. Dave takes the direct approach and beats his way through the guards at the front door.

Cho finally uses his ninja skillz to take care of some guards.

Back at the hot tub, Cathy is almost finished. Kane breaks free and takes care of the hideously tattooed henchman. Kane frees Cathy who calls the police.

Braden keeps killing more guards and is getting very close to Caifano. Dave encounters Braden. They fight and Dave gets impaled in the process. Cho arrives as Braden escapes.

Cho follows him onto the roof. It is Braden versus Cho to the death. The katanas are drawn. They battle on a tennis court. Throwing stars and smoke bombs ensue. Braden manages to get away while Cho searches for him.

Braden grabs Cho who cuts him in half. It is a decoy ninja.

Cho is still trying to follow Braden. An arm in a hot tub grabs Cho who cuts it off. That was another decoy. He can�t find Braden, who jumps out of the hot tub. Gymnast fu with a smoke bomb chaser ensues.

Cho and Braden start the final round. Sword fu ensues. Braden manages to escape again. Cho is thrown off the building but manages to climb back on it.

Cathy and Kane arrive and run up 30 stories of stairs�

Cho is starting to get the edge over Braden and kills him.

Kane runs to Cho�s side as the movie ends.

What I say:

Ninjas...Ninjas...Ninjas...Everywhere on the ground and in the air...Well, no tunneling ninjas in this movie.

First, Cannon Films never met a movie genre they couldn't exploit. The 80s Chuck Norris movies, Breakdance movies (yes Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo), cheezy action movies, multiple Lambada movies, ninja movies... I don't really remember much of their ninja movies. But, first we had Enter the Ninja, which starred Franco "Django" Nero as the white ninja and Sho Kusagi as the evil ninja he must fight. They realized Kusagi would make a better hero for the sequel, Revenge of the Ninja. At least, ninjas have Revenge unlike other movies in 1983, (Return of the Jedi). And the ninja trilogy was concluded with Ninja III: The Domination starring Lucinda Dickey from the Breakin' movies as a woman possessed by an evil ninja. A Breakdancer possessed by an evil ninja? It has been too many years since I've watched it... Why have we lost such quality entertainment nowadays?

This movie is one of the true prototypes for the ninjaploitation moves of the 80s. It was far more influential than just cinemawise. Didn't you ever play ninja back in the day? It was a great game at the time. However, it was based off more from Ninja III: the Domination than the this movie. Ninja III seemed to be shown more on satellite channels and one of the early video stores rentals in the big clamshell cases, too.

Sho Kusagi is better known as a martial artist than actor for a good reason. I�m sure he would have no problem beating me senselessly even without the ninja superpowers shown in this movie. He starred because of his martial arts skills not his thespianic skills. Some actors have a hard time expressing emotions. Sho has less ability to convey emotion than George Washington on a quarter.

Now, I'm lucky that emotional expression isn't very relevant to a movie where ninjas fight. I want sweet ninja fighting. While nothing in this movie is like the Jackie Chan, Jet Li, or whoever you can think of in Hong Kong, the fights are just so off the wall. A ninja fighting the Village People possibly one of the greatest ideas in movie history. In fact, some of the later ninja movies from the 80s had far screwier fights and powers. Revenge of the Ninja is one of the precursors that allowed for such a movie as Ninja in the Killing Field and the other ninjaploitation movies.

Cho�s family is wiped out by a swarm of ninjas. It is never said who they were except something about some family grudge. I think Braden had the ninjas wipe out Cho�s family. Cho would then have nothing to stay for and go to America. Braden used Cho�s galleries to smuggle heroin into the country. The movie starts 6 years after the Cho family massacre. Caifano�s informant mentions that in other cities how Japanese were taking over the heroin trade. Braden had Cho start a series of galleries throughout the country that pumped in the heroin.

Braden�s plan had a few flaws to it. If Cho wasn�t dumber than dirt, in 6 years, the man never broke a doll filled with white powder. Well, wouldn't a ninja be the only guy who could do enough backflips to not break any dolls? Braden could have used a gymnast or a cheerleader instead of a guy who has sworn a vow not to kill. Why not just use someone else to front the drug smuggling? I'd think a guy that is a martial arts badass should be left alone. Though, Braden's plan isn't great, it at least is several dimensions more complex than John Travolta gold mining scheme in Battlefield Earth

My big complaint is Sho Kusagi doesn�t much for most of the movie. Cannon was trying to promote him as an action star. However, a good portion of the movie he doesn�t do anything except talk about not wanting to fight. The fights are staged decently enough. None of them may be believable. If a ninja fights a tomahawk wielding Indian, I don�t care about believability. If a ninja battles a poor man�s version of the village People, I am there.

The Joseph Lai ninja movies were made to cash in on the popularity of Sho Kusagi ninja movies. They also were filled with ninjas that were more powerful than Sho thought of being. Ninjas can dig through the earth as easy as walking. Various movies keep making ninjas even more and more powerful. They speed read and can form a giant ninja�

Kane Kusagi has to be excused for being so young. I was almost having flashbacks to Ernie Reyes Jr. television show, in Sidekicks. A kid who is that small shouldn�t be able to hold his own against grown men. It was more believable than the kids in 3 Ninjas or the far more dreadful Pocket Ninjas if that means much nowadays. I can accept a 6 year old Kane Kusagi as Kung Fu master a lot easier than the infamous Pocket Ninjas.

Action movies have irrevocably changed since the 80s. Many movies from the day would feature drug deals in them. The 80s tried coming up with some of the most off-the-wall drug schemes ever. This movie had heroin being smuggled into the country in Japanese dolls. I'm sure this will show how great a social life I have. In a episode of Hunter that recently came on TV Land featured drug smugglers flying heroin into the country using homing pigeons. Ninja drug smugglers and homing pigeons have a kind of pointless charm about them nowadays.

Today, we get action movies that are just a large number of explosions. Martial artists seem to be a dying breed replaced with leather clad waifs doing wire fu. Give me Michelle Yeoh, Anita Mui, and Maggie Cheung any day over Carrie Anne Moss (sorry you threw away youur chance with greatness, with SideOrderOfNinjas). The 90s had several martial artists doing movies. I still wonder whatever happened to Cynthia Rothrock. Don "the Dragon" Wilson may be reviled but at least his movies aren't trying to be profound and more pretentious than a philosophy major in college as what the world is to think of Matrix movies.

Some movies are a tribute to the time they came out. I've been looking for a movie that is a true time capsule of the 80s. This is 80s enough to be the perfect movie. However, Revenge of the Ninja has enough of the generally accepted early 80s style. We have almost enough neon to be used in a Miami Vice episode. We don't have any fast cars like what Magnum PI would drive. A lot of the most copied aspects from 80s movies and television weren't around to be stolen from yet in 1983.

I do realize that for a site called sideorderofninjas I do focus more on other types of b-movies than on ninja movies. Trying to spread out what few ninja movies out. Several more ninja movies are on the back burner and a couple are on the extremely crazy side. So keep your eyes open for some that make a Destro-clad ninja who employs the Village People to kill his enemies seem like Shakespeare.

Quotable Dialogue
"You can't fight the ninja forever."
"If you want to work out, you forgot your pants."
"You must teach me the way of the ninja."
"I think it involves some ninja techniques like bone-breaking, blowguns."
"He hynoptized me...He's a ninja..."
"Impossible, he's an American. How can he be a ninja?"
"Only a ninja can stop a ninja."
Morals of the Story
Ninjas love javelins.
Star Trek based necklaces are big in Japan.
Ninjas emit clouds of smoke.
SENSEI 7 is a great ninja license plate.
Mafia love picnics.
Ninjas love to backflip instead of run.
Cratewielding Indians are no match for a ninja.
Elderly Japanese women disappear in a puff of smoke.
Ninjas love neon lights.
Waving your hands in circles will hynoptize blonde women.
Ninjas carry marbles and jacks.
Ninjas carry decoy ninjas.
Ninjas carry blowtorches.
A woman in a bathrobe can go anywhere.