Plot:
A man is loading ammo and guns as a manly theme song that somehow makes my long for anything by Midnight Oil is playing.
In a room, people get to see the largest diamond in Africa. It is 526 karats. Suddenly, the room is gassed. As panic ensues, thieves still the diamond.
A plane lands, and the passengers disembark. Michael Gold is checked into the country of Kurango.
Later, he is near a pier and finds the German scientist Dr. Braun. Michael wants Braun to defect to the US and convinces he can do anything. Suddenly, some toughs dart
Michael and Braun.
A Russian military officer awakens Michael who will be executed for espionage.
The guillotine is being tested.
Michael is able to break out of the cell. A gorilla grabs one of the guards?
Ok, every movie that has a random gorilla in a prison cell gets an additional ninja rating.
A Rambo style gunfight ensues. Apparently, one bullet can kill several men. M-16 fu ensues. The guillotine is used on one of the guards as the screen cuts.
At the US embassy, Michael is being chewed out for failing to bring in Braun. Dr. Braun is a physicist who specialized in laser weapons. They want Braun retrieved or
terminated. Michael volunteers to go back after him.
Michael disguises himself. He parachutes from a plane into enemy territory. Impersonating a military officer, he smacks around the non-coms before driving away.
He knows that he is a wanted criminal in Kurango and gets a hotel room.
The Russian Colonel knows that Gold is nearby.
Alissa, the veterinarian daughter of Braun, works at animal clinic taking care of alligators, lions, snakes, and goats. A hunchbacked Michael talks with her and arranges to
meet later.
The goons, Manuel and Sergeant Roberta, are searching for the mercenary Michael Gold.
Gold breaks into Braun�s apartment and trips the burglar alarm. Colonel sends troops to investigate the alarm. The goons turn off their radio to keep gambling.
Michael still is searching and is able to escape the goons and the Colonel.
A rooftop chase ensues. Somehow, Gold falls through the roof, and witty one-liners ensue.
Later, he meets with Alissa. She won�t help him at first. Some really bad innuendo ensues.
I'm gonna keep drinking until this movie makes sense.
They decide to look for Braun�s friend, Professor Rice. They find him as he leaves a cryptic clue before dying. Gold has an idea of where Braun may be. A gunfight breaks out.
Alissa is driving a van as the theme song plays again. Her bad driving assaults us. A jeep full of soldiers is in hot pursuit. Huh-Koo-Koo. Hot pursuit as Sheriff Roscoe
might say.
The car chase continues. They finally get rid of the jeep. The goons run over some fruit carts. The van gets away. Colonel is after them.
The van is getting pretty battered as more soldiers lose it. The goons land into the pier. The Colonel�s jeep catches up with the van once more.
The instrumental version of the theme song plays as the van drives into the country.
In the desert, Eckhardt has Braun who refuses to work for him. He shows Braun his collection of heads belonging to people who wouldn�t do as he commands.
Why does the villain collect severed heads?
Alissa may be in if Braun refuses.
Elsewhere, Gold drives the van on. They stop and have to bypass a village when a firefight ensues. Eventually, the van is hit enough that our intrepid duo must rely on
footpower.
They took a break, and Alissa won�t answer how she packs a gun and drives so aggressively.
That night, the Colonel is still searching.
Gold and Alissa find a miner�s camp. They will discuss things in the morning. When they wake, the camp is gone. An archer starts following them. After killing the
archer, they keep moving.
An old guy on horseback shoots them. Michael walks up close enough to bust a cap in him.
They keep crossing the desert as the sun beats down on them. When a guy approaches, Gold has Alissa keep going. He takes care of the guy Crow style. The guy
tells about Eckhardt.
Our intrepid duo leaves on the horse and ride into town. They go straight to a hotel. Oh yeah, let the lovin� begin. Later, Alissa leaves.
Some Germans question the hotel clerk. By German, I mean making Sgt Schultz of Hogan�s Heroes sound authentic.
Alissa steals the Germans car.
Michael awakens and finds a note left by Alissa.
Another car chase ensues.
Later, Michael is getting worried when Alissa calls. She wants to meet him at Eckhardt�s place. After hanging up, we see that the Germans have Alisa captured.
Gold approaches the perimeter. He kicks a guard into the electrified fence.
A truly shocking experience. Quite electrifying....
He drives a jeep in and eventually gets trapped. Michael awakens to find Braun.
Michael knows that Braun�s work with a giant laser will create a nuclear weapon. However, they don�t know who the evil overlord behind everything is. Eckhardt walks in at
that moment. The Colonel is his partner. Alissa is their hostage, too.
Eckhardt takes Gold away. He wants to give the mercenary a sporting chance. The fight rages. They wind up on a parpet and fall off it. Gold is just winded. Eckhardt had a
slight problem being impaled on a wrought iron fence.
A Samurai attacks Gold who uses backbreaker like shown in televised wrestling.
Michael frees Braun and head to the mine.
At the mine, the Colonel has a lot of people slaving away.
The goons recognize they need to help Gold to get away.
Alissa is tied up. Colonel orders the slaves to be killed. He tells her that Gold is dead.
Michael and Braun are still heading to the mine.
Colonel starts trying to torture Alissa.
Gold spots the soldiers preparing to gun the slaves down.
Colonel is starting to strip Alissa. The nearby gunfight draws his attention from her.
A guard sets the charge to blow up the mine.
Braun heads out to find Alissa.
Alissa is busily cutting herself free.
The goons steal Michael�s jeep.
The gun packing Alissa opens fire.
Gold is gunning down the troops, too. Colonel shoots him in the back. Alissa gets the drop on the Colonel.
The goons run into Braun.
Somehow, the Colonel gets away and chases Alissa.
Gold frees the slaves as some guard attacks him in the mine.
Alissa and the Colonel wind up close to Gold who perforates the Russian officer with few holes.
The goons and Braun are taking care of business. Gold has Braun guard the jeep. When spotting the jeeps, Braun explains how they are their side. Braun reveals that girl with
Gold isn�t Alissa. She was to watch over him.
Colonel crawls out of the mine. He was wearing a bulletproof vest.
The timer keeps counting down as he sneaks up to shoot Gold. The explosive goes off then killing the Colonel.
Gold, Braun, Alissa, and the goons drive off as chopper lands nearby. The CIA agents have brought Braun�s daughter with them.
Braun thanks Gold for everything.
The goons steal the chopper when everyone is distracted. The spooks chase after it to no avail.
A hideously scarred Colonel opens fire on the jeep. Gold runs over him, killing him finally.
Gold reveals he has the diamond as the movie ends.
