Des Taviner sat on a bench outside Intensive care, wishing he could be in the same room as Sheelagh� he could be quiet, he could talk if she wanted, but he wanted to look over her, take care of her. That would never happen when Patrick was around. It was an inescapable fact that Sheelagh clearly did not believe in adultery.
�Excuse me? You�re PC Taviner, aren�t you?� A brunette looked him up and down. She had the look of Sheelagh about her, the same eyes, although less mature. He nodded in assent, glancing quickly up at her and then back to the floor, and his thoughts. �My Mam�s come round�she�d like to see you. Would you come?� Hesitantly, she held a hand out, and he took it for a second, as he steadied himself on his feet.
�When did she wake up?� He queried wildly� How long had he been unaware of her consciousness? What had she been thinking? What hell was she going through? Des was a hardened man, he had seen many thing in his time, but the sight of Sheelagh as he had clasped her to him earlier had made him sick to the core.
�About ten minutes ago, she�s been persuading me da that she wanted to see you, and that she should talk about� about��
�Oh.� He nodded, understanding but unwilling to discuss it, for fear his tone betray his heart. Walking through the ward, they came face to face with Patrick, as he left Sheelagh�s room. �Patrick.� The greeting was all Des could manage.
�Ah Des, my missus is wanting to see you, I see Siobhan here found you, she�s our middle child you know?� How was it possible, thought Des, that a man could lay his claim on his wife so many times in one sentence? �I wanted to thank you meself� for saving her�and me in a lesser sense. I owe ye, we should go out some time.�
�Out. Yeah. � Des was still not capable of much speech. �It�s no problem.� He tried to speak, tried to make sense, tried to seem like a PC not madly in love with this man�s wife. Siobhan pointed him in the direction of Sheelagh�s door. Hesitantly, Des entered.
I�m falling down
Can�t see the truth
I know the hell that you�ve been through
Their eyes locked. Sheelagh had asked Patrick to close the blinds, the door shut behind Des, but even in that darkness, their eyes met each others. He moved slowly towards the bed, she thought he�d never reach it. Sitting down in Patrick�s place, he pulled the chair closer, looked at her with worry. No questions needed to be asked, he was not one for the usual �how do you feels�, she knew that, she was glad of it. Taking his hand, Sheelagh pressed it tightly.
�What happened? I want the whole story� �I want you here as long as possible� was the thought behind those words, and he knew it.
�I�I��
�Don�t be soft with me Des. That�s Patrick�s position�I need you to be different. I know what I�felt, saw, but I need to know. Everything.�
�He�he hit you, when we were in the warehouse. I tried to stop the car, he nearly ran me over. I got your text, but when I arrived at the taxi, I went the wrong way� that�s why I took so long. I�m�I�m sorry.� Her eyes met his.
�What�s done is done Des. We both made mistakes last night. Please� go�go on.� He gulped, she could see a glisten of tears in his eyes. �Des? Cry? Oh God.�
�When I came round the corner to Slate road, I heard a scream of some sort� Then I saw� I saw� He gulped, took a breath, and grasped her hand anew. �He was over you� on his knees. I threw him off, and belted him, hard. That�s the last I know of him, he was unconscious.� Des looked up at the broken lady in front of him, she reminded him of a porcelain doll that had fallen to the ground. She knew what had happened, she knew she had been abused, it was in her eyes, no longer light. They were dark, full of pain. �I held you, and tried to stop the bleeding, and Gina told me to come in the ambulance with you.� Sheelagh knew she couldn�t expect to hear more of his feelings, not now at any rate, and not here, with her husband no doubt pacing up and down outside.
I�m frightened by what I see
But somehow I know that there�s much more to come
Immobilised by fear
They sat in silence, sharing it. Des didn�t know what to say, he wanted to be there, he could listen, and he would kill the man that did this� but he didn�t know what to say. Never a one with words. Sheelagh gazed at him for a moment, before opening her lips.
�I love you.� Des gave a start� surely she didn�t mean this, she couldn�t, not with a husband and children. It was one thing him loving her like never before, but he had not expected it to be reciprocated.
�What�What did you say?� He must have heard her wrong. It couldn�t be true.
�I love you Des. I need you, I need you to be here for me, to take care of me, I need to be loved.�
Why has love has touched us this way?
Why do I cry for the first time?
Why do I want you here to stay?
I don�t know.
She gazed at him. �Can you�can you love me?�
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