Catch me as I fall
Say you�re here and it�s all over now
Sheelagh came to once more and found herself in a hospital bed. The room was white and pale green. Hospital green. She felt a tense fear of her surroundings but couldn�t understand why� after all, she had been a nurse for many years, why should a hospital, with it�s disinfectant, other worldly smell bother her, of all people? Moving her head, she saw Patrick, fast asleep on a chair moved close to the bed. Patrick, her husband. The man she and Des had cleared of conviction. Patrick� the man she did not think of when trying to live through� through� that. What had happened? She strained to remember. Someone entered the room, Siobhan, her daughter.
�Mam!� A glow spread over the brunette�s face. �Mam!� She said again, disbelieving. Patrick stirred in his slumbers. The clock read 5 am.
�Siobhan pet!� A smile creased it�s way across Sheelagh�s face, but she could not rid her mind of what happened, of the man who had been with her in the ambulance.
�Oh Mam! I�m�I�m�� the words would not come out for Siobhan, her pleasure written on her face. �How do you feel Mam?�
�I�m ok love, I�ll live.� �The irony�, she thought, as those words left her lips. Patrick�s eyes flickered.
�Sheelagh love!� The eyes of her husband of nearly twenty three years lit up as he bent over her to kiss her tenderly on the lips.
�Would ye like a cup of tea, Mam?� Siobhan looked over her father�s shoulders anxiously, wishing to do something, to have a part in the drama.
�That would be lovely.� One down, one to go. She wanted peace, she wanted quiet�and she wanted Des. How to say that to Patrick!
�Anything else you want love? Bit of food?� Sheelagh retched, the idea of food entering her at this moment was sickening.
�I think the tea will do Patrick� she avoided catching his eyes. They were in silence for a few minutes, but silence was something Patrick could not bear, as Sheelagh well knew.
�That PC Taviner� he saved your life they say. If he hadn�t got to you�� Patrick was so choked up with emotion that he could not continue.
�Des?�
�Aye, that�s what they called him, Des Taviner, the chap who interviewed me the other week. Scouser.� Silence fell again.
�Where is he? Is he ok?� Sheelagh felt an incredible rush of worry settle over her as she looked anxiously at her husband.
�I think he�s ok, he�s somewhere around the hospital. You�re what matters here.� Needless to say, Patrick did not understand her worry.
Speaking to the atmosphere
No one�s here and I fall into myself
�I�d�I�d� She didn�t know how to put it, �like to see him Patrick� I need to ask him what happened.� Patrick shook his head,
�You don�t need to think of that now love, lets just think of you getting better and out of here.� He had bad memories of hospitals now, having been arrested here not so long ago by Debbie McAllister. Patrick was being his usual avoidant self; he felt that if he avoided what had happened, left it in some dark, musty closet of their memories, it would go away. Sheelagh knew she couldn�t cope with that, she needed to talk it over; know what had happened. She also knew she couldn�t explain that to Patrick, it would be like talking to a brick wall. He was a lovely man, they had a lovely marriage, but she was the carer, the one he and the kids came to in trouble, the one that everyone depended on. Right now, Sheelagh needed someone to depend on, someone to care for her.
I know the truth now
I know who you are
And I don�t love you anymore
�You don�t understand Patrick,� she could see how those four words hurt him to the core, �I need to
talk it over with� someone� someone who was there. Now.� Patrick shook his head, disagreeing, but ready to do as his wife wished. Siobhan came back with a cup of tea.
�I think your Mam needs a little time Siobhan love, and she wants to see that PC who brought her in. Do you think you could find him?�
�Sure.� She set the tea by her mother�s side and looked sharply at her. Siobhan was quicker than Patrick, understood her mother�s personality more than Patrick ever could. Leaving the room, she looked over her shoulder at the white face that could only be told from the pillow by it�s halo of golden hair.
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