the bollweevils

the undisputed descendents of naked raygun. the bollweevils destroyed venues with their blistering sets that left the walls sweating and the kids gasping for more. at their height, they drew at least 500 rambunctious kids on any given night ready to rumble. notorious for starting riots at the metro, the bollweevils put chicago on the map after screeching weasel's demise. invariably they became the staple opening act for headlining touring bands like rancid, jawbreaker, and the queers, which made already rad shows even moreso. the bollweevils broke up during the summer exodus of 1996 (more on that later) when daryl could no longer handle splitting his time between jumping off stages into the crowd while singing and handling delicate surgical tools in his pursuit of becoming a doctor. ken weevil formed the feds for awhile, bob can still be sometimes seen at shows, and brian is still the skinny drummer for oblivion.

los crudos

undeniably one of chicago's oldest and most reknown hardcore bands. los crudos has conquered the world with their uncompromising demand for political, racial, and social justice. breakneck spanish vocals set to unrelenting hardcore, los crudos has no equal. their sporadic shows are routinely attended by kids voluntarily sacrificing themselves to a sonic assault of hardcore. i remember when los crudos opened for bikini kill four years ago, and how ironic that it wasnt the other way around. bikini kill is great, but kathleen prancing around seems almost ridiculously juvenile when contrasted with martin's raw purging screams of defiance. although i dont profess to like them musically, i have the utmost respect for their sincerity and dedication. a rare breed in punk rock and hardcore nowadays.

the mushuganas

the mother fucking mushuganas were always ready to fuck shit up, more accurately their own shit usually. the mushuganas raised broken strings, shitty vocals, and general clumsiness to an artform. their chaotic sets always seemed to teeter on the brink of disaster. craig never fell while precariously climbing the most unstable piece of equipment or furniture on stage while playing, and joe never got his ass kick for discharging machine-gun fire rounds of smart-ass remarks and brutal shit talking. ryan however has nothing to show for except for maybe a bunch of tattoos, and as for annie, well she probably still lives in dekalb with craig. after the release of their now classic 'drop out girl' 7" on harmless records, the mushuganas crumbled under their own chaos and disbanded. a show has yet to pass with the same charged air of recklessness and mayhem that the mushuganas seemed synonymous with.

oblivion

two LPs, a collection of 7"s, and various contributions to compilations later, oblivion remains one of chicago's best kept secrets. after many attempts at national touring, kids outside of chicago have yet to buy a clue. perhaps their manic combination of heavy metal and punk rock into quirky pop songs is too artistically formidable to be accessible to the uncouth non-chicagoan.
    always ready to rock with their cocks out, oblivion continues to practice tasteful fashion sense by playing in their underwear, wrestling masks, wedding dresses, or KISS make-up to fiercly loyal and adoring fans. they are currently still recuperating from their 10 round battle royal show against apocalypse hoboken that suspiciously ended in a draw.

88 fingers louie

88 fingers louie beat screeching weasel to fat wreck chords. as far as my knowledge, 88 fingers louie has the dubious honor of being the first chicago punk rock band to emulate lagwagon well enough for fat mike to sign them to a few 7"s. ironically, their best release was the 10" e.p., "totin' 40s and fuckin' shit up", on rocco records that sounded too much like punk rock to be put out on fatwreckchords. the 10" accurately captured the essence of 88 fingers louie and their death metal reputation for satanic live shows (see song "irreparable damage"). post punk rock prophet denis buckley is now married, and continues his successful practice as a proctologist. dan their guitarist still has long hair, and joe is probably still modeling clothing for victory records and fatwreck. glenn (who replaced original drummer dom) likes to count "1 2 3 4" with punk rock underdogs alkaline trio.

slapstick

local legend and all ages punk rock promoter dave eaves monopolized the microphone at fireside bowl during the slapstick reunion benefit show and drunkenly proclaimed that, "slapstick was the greatest ska punk band chicago ever had... except for maybe operation ivy." dave knows a lot about punk rock, so i guess i will concur with his proclamation. slapstick used to be known for playing eight or nine shows a month. now that they have split up into the bands tueday and the broadways, were lucky if they play a total of one show every three months... rockstars! peter anna though is cavorting around with lessthanjake these days, and is most likely playing around three shows a night.

apocalypse hoboken

apocalypse hoboken has always been about beer and punk rock. but it is never surprising though when they set their drum kit on fire to really draw the ooh's and ahh's from the pyromaniacs in the crowd. formed around the time when the dinosaurs roamed the Earth, apocalypse hoboken have been fucking shit up around chicago for longer than an ice age. refusing to die, hoboken recently hooked up with media darling and notorious booking agent stormy shepherd and are looking to spread their disco inferno all over the country. with past record releases with family oriented titles like "date rape nation" and "jerk lessons," it wont be long before apocalypse hoboken will be a house hold name. hard and fast like most old school punk rock, apocalypse hoboken really cuts a name for themselves due to todd's voice, which always sounds like he swallowed a bunch of razors right before hitting the stage, which of course is always a very good possibility.

the traitors

i really have no idea who is still in this chicago all-star band. i believe todd has been replaced, possibly by billie joe from pinhead gunpowder who can never pass up the chance of fronting an 'all-star' punk rock band. originally their line up boasted todd pott from apocalypse hoboken, marc ruvolo from no empathy, fransisco francheSKA from nostrilasaurus, and aaron cometbus on drums, who also can never pass up the chance of drumming for an 'all-star' punk rock band. essentially, old school snotty puke rock. a few years ago, i remember seeing a real skull of a pig with fleshy remnants still attached thrown out into the crowd, which was most likely immediately devoured by a rabid fan.

AYA

also victims of the summer exodus of '96, AYA inexplicably never got fire outside their small devoted following. AYA was quite possibly homewood's greatest pop punk band, second to the mighty winepress. sounding a lot like green day, AYA played pure pop songs like nobody's business. musically, they distinguished themselves from the glut of other mediocre pop punk bands by chris envy's captivating voice. girls swooned at his feet as he sung like a spring bluejay. he is now in the captivating band show-off. the rest of AYA joe, oliver, and tony can probably be seen still hanging around the homewood record swap listening to emo bands. they only had two official 7" releases to their name, fortunately i finagled their unreleased 20 song demo tape from robbie who forgot he lent it to me.

tricky dick

from the heart of elgin came this peppy band of speedy punk rock. jeff ott's younger brother chris mckaugen supplied the guitars, while memo growled a lot into the mic, and steve katzel thumped his bass when he felt like it. jeff ott's older brother, jeremy rattled on his tin drums. he also poses for local newspaper photos while running the elgin foodnotbombs collective. finally, chris can now be seen playing with the broadways, who have jeff ott's twin step brothers brendan kelly and dan hanaway in it as well. the broadways nobly keep the spirit of tricky dick alive, as they carry on their tradition of wearing excessivly baggy pants that hang around the ankles while playing.

smoking popes

i remember when i used to get sick of seeing them play so much. now, i think i get sick of seeing them on so many stupid movie soundtracks, and wonder why they dont play more. i would imagine, it is because they are still chained to capitol records and are enjoying teaching morrissey a few things while on his tour. their new album is out, and not surprisingly is very good. if you are more interested about the smoking popes, rolling stone and spin magazine are now the definitive sources.

the 4-squares

ken weevil used to tell me that i was to harsh on the 4-squares in my fanzine reviews. i probably was. and because of this, i think for a long time mike alfini disliked me. well the 4-squares are regretfully long gone, and my fanzine is thankfully put to rest. maybe i should buy mike flowers now?

skokie

this is roy's new band. they are called skokie. they sound kinda like lifetime. mostly because roy dismantled his avail shrine, and set one up for lifetime instead. dale from the eclectics is in this band, and he is still wearing tommy hilfiger gear.

the eclectics

the eclectics are star-wars inspired ska. three of their members are vegans, which probably means they should be playing straight edge hardcore and wearing new balance shoes. they dont. instead they play the metro regularly now, and record with steve albini.

the fighters

the fighters broke up a real real real long time ago. i dont even think this is a photo of them playing. but it is cj fighter, and apparently he is doing his best imitation of mike judge. the fighters also had current magazine mogul jason mojica as their lead singer who strangely did jello biafra imitations when he sung. i miss the fighters.