fireside bowl is nestled in one of chicago's classiest areas. known for its sketchy gas stations and seedy mexican restaraunts, punk rock kids flock here in droves in search of cheap high octane gas, authentic chicano cuisine, and the occasional show. shows at fireside have been happening since 1992, none of which have ever started on time. shows are generally $5, unless brian petersen is thoroughly stoned.
   for a 16 lane bowling alley, our fireside bowl has seen more than its share of punk rock history. the queers, nofx, shellac, veruca salt have all played here. john wayne gacy used to bowl here. an annoying bald guy with no teeth and his overbearing son can still be seen peddling their annoying flowers here. slightly less annoying is wesley willis, who periodically swindles unsuspecting little kids into paying money for his cds here. elliot, the humble yet all-powerful guru who weaves his magic to make bands sound like theyre playing at the acropolis, is in all liklihood the only sane character who can be found regularly at fireside.
   aside from the esteemed patronage, fireside bowl also boasts a swanky bar with the essential pool table, sports tv, and imported beer on tap. the fireside bar has a long lineage of famous bartenders who charge for water but are cynical for free. on any given night, todd from apocaylpse hoboken, or jason from the fighters, or even tony victory can be seen slinging beer and mugging for tips. dont let the '21 and over' sign on the fake naugahyde door fool you, if youre cool enough theyll let you drink. one time, dave eaves nearly caused a riot by announcing to a packed fireside show, "im sorry to say this, but we will not be selling alcohol to anyone under 21 anymore...sorry." he was immediately bum rushed by straight-edged evanston kids who liked getting drunk at XfirstbornX shows.
   fireside bowl wouldnt be fireside bowl, if one didnt examine the pristine and luxurious bathrooms. i have ventured into them once under a servere emergency. whether or not i will ever fully recover from its alluring fragrence of shit, urine, weed, sweat, blood, and puke remains a mystery. handclaps for todd pott who courageously "cleans" it every once in awhile. other subtle nuances of fireside bowl include the meticulously polished bowling lanes and wide selection of perfectly carved bowling balls. there was once a street fighter II machine, but it has been removed. the convex mirror over the stage that was covered in stickers is gone too. speaking of the stage, it used to be a foot high and no more than 20 foot by twenty foot square. it has undergone several expansions and elevations since. im wondering when they are going to install barricades, which might actually be a good idea since the main speakers are always on the verge of being toppled, and the ceiling and ceiling lights constantly kicked to pieces by overzealous punk rock kids. while its still standing, please come check out our home fireside bowl before its too late.