Woodend Mansion
Bethesda, Maryland
Sunday, June 3, 2001
12 Sivan, 5761
Attendants
Psyche Coderre
Abigail Davis
Sheeri Kritzer
Marlena Negri
Pre-Service Music
I Will Lift Up Mine Eyes, Herbert Howells
Brad Scales, tenor
Craig Zamer, baritone
The Owl and the Pussycat, Bob Chilcott
Processional
The lovers come in together, from opposite sides of the chuppah, to signify that they come to this union in equality, not as one being given to another as a gift. The gift is to each other.
Kol Dodi, arr. E. R. Jones
�Hark! My beloved, behold he cometh leaping upon the mountains, skipping upon the hills!�
Circling
Traditionally, the bride circles the groom seven times. Rochelle and Erin circle each other, again, as a sign of equality. The moment is a meditative one, a quiet before making their commitment.
Tapuach Chinani, Joseph Hadar
Kimball Miller, soprano
Diane Martini, alto
�The wind caresses the treetops and kisses its leaves. There in the garden my beauty picked an apple. If I were a tree and she the wind she would kiss me too.�
Welcome
Blessing over the Wine
Exchange of Rings
Many Waters/Awake (from Wedding Cantata), Daniel Pinkham
�Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it. Awake, O north wind, and come thou south. Blow upon my garden that the spices may flow out.
Let my beloved come into his garden and eat his pleasant fruit.�
Reading of Ketubah
The Ketubah is the Jewish wedding contract, the agreement under which Rochelle and Erin pledge their love and their lives.
Sermon
When I Fall in Love, arr. Kirby Shaw
�When I fall in love, it will be forever, or I�ll never fall in love. In a restless world like this is, love is ended before it�s begun, And too many moonlight kisses seem to cool in the warmth of the sun. When I give my heart it will be completely or I�ll never give my heart. And the moment I can feel that you feel that way too, Is when I fall in love with you.�
Seven Blessings
These seven blessings are traditionally spoken at all Jewish weddings. The Rabbi will say them in Hebrew, and members of the wedding party will say them in English.
Drinking of Second Cup of Wine
Shattering of the Glass
Together, Erin and Rochelle shatter the wine glasses.
Finale (from Vespers), Sergei Rachmaninoff
�Hail to thee, O Bride and ever faithful!�
Simon Tov, Chassidic Song
�May good fortune come to us and to all Israel.� As the couple departs, please join in singing this Judaic song of congratulations, printed elsewhere in the program.
Recessional
Erin and Rochelle will spend a brief period in seclusion, and then will join everyone at the reception. There is traditionally no receiving line.
Thanks
Abi, for hosting the wonderful shower, listening to us natter incessantly about details, knowing when we needed to step back and regain perspective, and the ongoing love and support she has given both of us.
Psyche, for not biting our heads off when we get whiny, being there for us with a ready arsenal of humor, commiseration and support, and especially for arranging the fabulous bachelor/ette gig.
Marlena, for being a consistent and sincere friend to Rochelle for so many years, for being the best comrade-in-bridehood a girl could ever dream of, and for endless amusing e-mails that sustained us both through this process.
Sheeri, for never hesitating to book yet another flight to be with us and for extensive logistical support on the wedding party sponsored events.
Rabbi Miller, for friendship, wise advice, the flexibility to work with our needs, and the sense of humor to handle each curve ball we threw.
All of the Master Singers, conducted today by Craig Zamer, for providing the choral music at today�s service, and for giving Erin a reason for being alive when he wasn�t sure there were any reasons left. You are the soundtrack of my soul, the music that makes my life complete.
Tordis, keyboardist, for her wonderful playing, her amazing ear and musicality, her near-telepathic responses to my requests, and for being simply the finest accompanist a conductor could ever ask for.
Amy, for tolerating a bazillion x-land crises with an open heart and with sincere support.
Lorelle, for all the help with Rochelle�s dress.
Rochelle�s Mom, for being especially impressive in your willingness to geek endlessly with me about wedding details without trying to strongarm the process, and for allowing me to get closer to you through the many phone calls, faxes, e-mails, and visits.
Rochelle�s Dad, for your intellectual curiosity about why we do things the way we do and your nonjudgmental acceptance of the responses we give. Your way of warmly regarding Erin as though he were a child of your own means the world to both of us.
Erin�s Mom, for understanding, for always being there no matter what, for helping me to see the other perspectives, for showing me how to be human.
Random Musings
Community (Rochelle)
I remember attending weddings in the past and watching those who ordinarily were merely relatives or friends assume archetypal roles of "bride" and "groom." I watched this mysterious transformation from a distance, and wondered how they learned how to act. Every bride or groom I've met has been genuinely eager about involving their community in their weddings.
Now we, too, assume those roles, and I see now why they knew how to act. It's because they felt like we do: fortunate to be honored by so many people gathering and celebrating our love for one another. Every RSVP that has arrived has been like a treasured gift from a faraway land; every phone call has been a tether to those both close and far. And we genuinely could not wait to see each and every one of you.
Community is a deeply important aspect of our relationship together. The opportunity to have so many aspects of our community in one place for the first time...family, our DC friends, the choir, friends from childhood or college days, the coworkers who keep us going on a daily basis, and all the others...is a rare and treasured event. Thank you for helping us make this an event that is about our community.
Choral Music (Erin)
I am a choral conductor by avocation and trade, and my greatest passions in life are listening to choral music and conducting great choirs. I have been fortunate enough for the past six years to be the conductor of the finest mixed choir in Northern Virginia, the Master Singers. No solemn occasion of my life would be complete or memorable without a substantial amount of choral music in it. The selections in the service are meant to enhance the occasion, with words particularly relevant to the setting in a combination of Hebrew and English texts. The text from the Pinkham Wedding Cantata is taken from the Song of Solomon, also known as the Song of Songs.
Tradition and Equality (Erin)
In planning this ceremony, we wished to make it a traditional Jewish wedding. We honor, uphold, and cherish over four thousand years of Jewish culture. Mostly. Where the primary differences can be seen are in the treatment of men and women. Rochelle and I believe that G-d did not intend for women or men to be cast into arbitrary roles based on their gender. Therefore, when traditional ceremony called for one of the couple to perform an act (walk down the aisle, wear a veil, circle their beloved, shatter a glass) we have given that act to both or neither. Thus we balance two sacred spheres of belief, intersecting in what we hope is a beautiful and meaningful ceremony, one that is special to us, and we hope to you as well.
An Ode to a Chuppah (Erin)
Admittedly, I am new to Jewish traditions, and much of the past four years that I have been with Rochelle have been spent learning various Hebrew words. Chuppah is one. It is the canopy under which Rochelle and I stand during the ceremony. The first two letters make a guttural �h� noise, so that the word begins more like �happy� than �chess�. Rochelle told me one day that a Chuppah is generally not freestanding, but that during a wedding people usually ��have to hold the Chuppah.� Of course, I couldn�t let that phrase go� Try saying this one three times fast�
If you have to have a Chuppah, do you have to hold the Chuppah?
Do the Chuppah holders have to have some help to hold the Chuppah?
Well if the Chuppah holder helpers help the holders hold the Chuppah
Then some happy Chuppah holders you will have holding the Chuppah!