Today I got down on my hands and knees and performed every man�s fantasy. That�s right: I washed the car.
Okay, so I was actually standing for much of this period, but I did have to get down and scrub around the bumper at one point. I am thorough.
So, washing the car. You know - out in our driveway, which is essentially the footpath on a busy street. Because I am not a whore, I was actually wearing a reasonable amount of clothes. But I still got ogled by the guy at the liquor store across the road who always seems to have his cigarette break when I�m running out to the garage in my bikini to switch on the heater for the pool. Wonderful timing.
And three people walked past and used the line, �Haha, gee, would you like to do mine too?� One of them happened to be shambling lard zombie hobo man with an ice cream.
Me: Um, no thanks, ahaha... (aside, to dog) Help!
Him: I�ll give you my ice cream, duhuhurrrr (nb: sound that stupid people make when
laughing)
Me: I DON�T KNOW YOU, LET GO OF MY PURSE!
And one guy started up a conversation with me as I was cleaning the windows. Hey man, are you having a nice day? Enjoying the sun, huh? Well... Have fun...
Thanks dooder. I�m having a great day trying to clean all the muddy pawprints and dog fur out of the car in the burning sunshine with you troglodytes going past.
Two and a half hours later, it was time for dinner. Cwapface. I�d forgotten to put dinner in the oven while I washed the car. Double cwapface. I also forgot to return Trigun to the video store. Triple cwapface. And I forgot to do the laundry. Still more cwapface. And I was still covered in car wax and shampoo and damp clothes.
AND I had to pick Harriet up for the movies in an hour and a half.
Normal people are saying what? An hour and a half? That�s plenty of time! Normal people fail to realise that I typically take at least forty minutes to shower and dress myself and put a gazillion hair products in.
Miraculously, it all got done in time.
Low point of the day: Standing on a slug in my bare feet. AAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAGH! the sound was something like, probably echoing through the neighbourhood and causing dogs to howl and fearful mothers to pull their children inside - though I missed all that commotion because I was jumping around and shrieking and turning on the hose to get the slug bits off me. I repeat: AAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAGH!
High point of the day: Getting to spend two hours listening to Spanish and staring at the most beautiful boy in the world in The Motorcycle Diaries. Oh, and the movie itself was okay, too.
And that was my last day alone. As Teen Girl Squad would put it: IT'S OVER! Only, that's a
damnable lie because epilogue is pending.
Previous - Jan 03
Next - Jan 05
Log Home