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SOOOO Frustrated
I can't entirely explain why I was so upset, but I was. I think it was largely just from being on such a roller coaster all weekend. She's coming! No she's not. She's coming! No she's not. That'd be hard on anyone, but it's not like I'm not already extra hormonal from being 8+ months pregnant. But I also think a lot of it is frustration over having absolutely no control over this. I'm not sure I've ever anticipated anything so much before that I couldn't "count down" to. With my high school graduation, our wedding, our trip to Ireland, etc, I could count the days. And believe me, I did! It helped me to pass the time by counting off a day each day. But with this, I could have her anywhere from tomorrow until 6 weeks from tomorrow. And since I grow increasingly uncomfortable with each passing day, it makes that possible 6 weeks loom sooooo far in the future. I do know that the chances of it being 6 weeks are extraordinarily low since I'm already quite dilated (whether it be 2cm or 3.5cm), but I can't rule it out.
I know I need to just relax, but between being so anxious to meet her and in so much personal discomfort, that's easier said than done. I was actually doing OK until Thursday when I learned how dilated I was. Prior to that, I suppose it hadn't seemed entirely real, so it was easier to just sit back and say, "Whatever will be will be." But man, once that carrot was dangled in front of me, suddenly the clock sped up. And especially since I was contracting on Friday and not even feeling it, it's so hard to ignore even the smallest twinge, because for all I know, I could dilate to 8cm and not feel a thing. It's highly unlikely, but certainly not unheard of.
So anyway, I hope that once the initial excitement of this weekend wears off - and provided I don't have any more scares - I can get back to the way I was. Otherwise, it's going to be one heck of a month.
She's Almost Here!
Not only am I dying to meet her, I've just now started to get REALLY uncomfortable. My Braxton Hicks contractions are becoming more uncomfortable, but worse than that, I'm having tons of stabbing pains in my pelvis and (warning: not for the squeamish) cervix. These are both probably the physical signs of her dropping and engaging further. Regardless, they are mighty uncomfortable and I'm looking forward to them ending!
Well, I think that's about it. Hopefully the next time I write we will have welcomed our baby daughter into this world!
MAGGIE HAS ARRIVED!
Click here to read about her arrival!