The next week was a bit of a roller coaster, with me never being sure if I was in labor or not since my first labor had been completely painless. I went to L&D on Saturday because I had what I thought was an enormous contraction, and I was afraid I had progressed all through early labor and was suddenly in transition. It turned out to be a false alarm, and I was so disgusted with myself that I decided I would only return to L&D if my water broke or I was having regular, obvious contractions.
On Thursday, I had another doctor�s appointment and he told me that I was nearly 4cm. He told me he didn�t expect me to make it through the weekend. Still, you so often hear of women who are dilated a bit for weeks that I tried not to get my hopes up. Of course, most of those women aren�t at FOUR centimeters, but the last week had been so emotional with the constant wonder of whether or not I was in labor that I tried not to put too much into his prediction.
Well, at about 10 Friday morning on November 1, the very day after my 4cm exam, I became suspicious that my water had broken. Unfortunately, if it had broken, it was a very small tear that was barely leaking. After an hour and a half of having a perpetually wet feeling inside of me but with virtually no corresponding wetness on the outside, I called my doctor to ask what I should do. The nurse told me to come in at 1:30 and the on call doctor, who just happened to be the same one who had seen me the day before and at my false alarm on Saturday, would test to see if there was any amniotic fluid present. There wasn�t, but he followed that test with another internal, and said I was now 5 to 6cm. Although I STILL wasn�t feeling any contractions, it was clear I was not going to make it much longer. He said to me, �Go to the hospital now. I�m admitting you � I don�t want you having this baby at home!�
I was totally stunned. I had expected something so much more dramatic before I entered the hospital � hours of mild contractions at home or a huge gush from a broken bag of waters. Instead, my water DIDN�T break, I had NO painful contractions, and still found myself at the hospital knowing I was going to give birth soon! How did this happen?? It was so surreal. For the first couple of hours at the hospital, I was certain I had to be dreaming. Could it be that I was really going to have my baby girl in my arms soon?
I got to the hospital at right about two. On the way, I called Nate, who had not come to the appointment because I really figured it was a false alarm and that I didn�t want to have him work any later that night for nothing. He was pretty stunned, too! I hadn�t even brought my hospital bags since I was so sure it was nothing, so he had to go home and get them. So for the first hour or so, I was alone at the hospital and bored out of my skull. The nurse got me admitted � I skipped triage and went straight to a birthing suite � but then I was pretty much on my own. I watched TV for a bit and kept grappling with the idea that, in spite of feeling perfectly fine (or as fine as any woman feels at 36 � weeks pregnant!) I would have my baby soon.
I honestly thought it would be a long labor since I�d only progressed 2cm in 24 hours. I assumed it would be at least Saturday before I was ready to push. However, I didn�t realize that my doctor was going to break my waters to jump start the process. He did this at about 3:30 and it was the strangest sensation! It didn�t hurt in the least but that gush of warm water felt so bizarre. At first, it seemed as if this might have accomplished nothing. I was having the same painless, moderate and irregular contractions I had had since I got there and my doctor said if they didn�t pick up soon, he wanted to administer pitocin.
Fortunately, my body took the cue, and around 4:30, I started having some mild contractions. They basically felt like a cross between menstrual cramps and bad gas. In fact, I was honestly worried that I wasn�t contracting at all and that I was just having some intestinal upset. Thank goodness for the external monitor that confirmed that they were indeed contractions! At first, they weren�t bad, but after about an hour, they suddenly went from mild to excruciating. I went from some quiet �ooh�ing and �aah�ing during my contractions to crying and swearing in about 5 minutes. Also, my contractions were suddenly insanely close together. They were registering as being about 2 minutes apart, start to start, but lasting about a minute and a half each. Technically, this meant I had a whopping 30 seconds to recover and relax between contractions, but in reality, even those 30 seconds were moderately painful. One of my particularly painful contractions led to one of the funnier moments during my labor. I was having a particularly nasty one, but when Nate looked at the monitor, it appeared to be a fairly small contraction, which he made the mistake of saying to me. While I will admit that this was partially intentional, I glared at him and said in a voice that sounded as if I must have been possessed by a minor demon, �IT�S WRONG!�
Anyway, it didn�t take too many of these before I decided I needed an epidural. I wanted to try natural, but I don�t for a second regret getting the epidural. While we waited for the anesthesiologist, the nurse offered me a shot of narcotic (Stadol or Nubain � can�t remember which) to take the edge off, which I gladly accepted. I won�t waste my time with that ever again! Honestly, it did nothing but sting like hell going in. I didn�t feel any less pain at all with my contractions.
Fortunately, the epidural followed shortly thereafter. Getting it was kind of painful and really frightening since I was of course still actively contracting, but it was well worth it. The worst thing was that it didn�t work at first. After about 15 minutes, my contractions were just as bad and it was clear it didn�t take. So the anesthesiologist came back and ripped all the stabilizing tape off my back � um, ouch! � and did it again. This time it took, and it was marvelous! I suddenly found myself very tired, but with no pain during contractions except for a small spot on my right hip.
The time between when the epidural finally took and when I was ready to push are kind of a blur because I was suddenly so tired. I think it was about an hour. I remember talking on the phone to my mom and I think my dad, but that�s about it. At some point, the doctor checked me again and said I was 9cm, so I figured I still had at least an hour to go. But maybe 10 minutes later, he came back into the room and said he was preparing for delivery. A quiet flurry of activity erupted around me as they got all the equipment ready. And then it was time.
I can�t remember if it was before or after the first time he had me push, but suddenly I could FEEL her. I asked him where she was and, much to my surprise, he said 0 station. I figured since I could feel her so well � it didn�t hurt at all, there was just pressure � that she must have been at +2 or +3. Since she was only at 0, I feared that meant I would push for awhile. And I do remember that when he told me to push, I had a brief wave of mental panic when I chastised myself for hardly ever having done my Kegels or worked out! I was afraid I was too out of shape to push her out. Little did I know!
So I began to push. I think I gave 3 or 4 good pushes when he told me to stop. He said I was doing great but that he wanted to get the vacuum extractor out to help guide her. So we paused for a couple of minutes while they got the extractor out and then got it in place. At this point, he told me that, rather than push, he wanted me to give a good cough. I don�t know where exactly she was at that point, but she was still completely inside me. So I gave a good cough and suddenly Nate, who was holding one of my legs, the doctor, and the nurse who was holding my other leg began laughing hysterically. I didn�t understand what had happened until later, but apparently that single cough sent her whole head flying out of me! The doctor said that her umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck THREE TIMES, and then he had me give another push. I felt an immense (but again, painless � thank God for epidurals!) pressure and they told me she was born and she was indeed a girl.
She began hollering even before she got to my chest, so we knew her lungs were in good shape. I began bawling as the doctor set her on my chest. I was so in awe of how perfect she was. She was certainly sticky with vernix, but she had almost no blood on her, and her head was surprisingly round. (I guess that�s what happens when a baby is only in the birth canal for about 10 minutes!) After holding her for a few minutes, they took her to wipe her off, weigh her, and stick her under the heat lamps. She was never more than 10 feet from me and Nate was standing next to her and stroking her the whole time. It was absolutely amazing.
The rest of our hospital stay was uneventful and pleasant. All the nurses were spectacular � I didn�t have a single one I didn�t like. Maggie took to nursing pretty well, although she often fought against latching for awhile and temporarily rejected my right breast. But we were able to see a lactation consultant and by the time we left, she was certain we would be fine, which we are. Maggie was slightly jaundiced, but when they did a bilirubin test, it turned out her number was low enough that she didn�t even require a brief stay under the bili-lamp. Other than that, she was perfect.
And everything went really well for me, too. I had no trouble urinating shortly after my epidural wore off. Although I had torn slightly and had an episiotomy, I seemed to heal well there, too. In fact, my nurse the very first night was astounded at how easily I was walking and sitting. I think the worst thing was Saturday night when my whole body ached. Even though my labor had been easy, no labor is truly EASY. My muscles were sore from their exertion. Also, my neck and shoulders were killing me from having looked down at her so much while struggling with latch. Finally, my epidural site was suddenly quite painful. Fortunately, they gave me some Tylenol with codeine at about 11 and took her to the nursery (at my request! no one ever forced me to do anything I didn�t want to) and brought her to me for feedings, so I got some really good sleep that night, and by Sunday morning I was feeling entirely better.
On Sunday night, we were discharged. Everything has been really great so far except for a few hormonal hours Sunday night and Monday morning. I discovered much to my surprise that, as much as I had wanted a baby for forever and knew I was totally capable of caring for her, that first night home was incredibly frightening. I�m sure the hormones had a lot to do with it, but I found myself a) missing be pregnant (huh? I never in a million years expected that!), and b) frightened that I was going to be a horrible parent. I think it was all compounded by the fact that I was so incredibly surprised to feel that way. Sure, I�d read about it, but I just never expected it to apply to ME. I had wanted this too bad and I just assumed everything would go smoothly when we got home. I guess no one is completely immune to the powerful combination of hormones, fear, and exhaustion! But the good news is that by Monday afternoon I was feeling back to my old self and have felt so ever since. I know I could still end up with more bouts with that, but as of right now (late Thursday night), I am loving every second of being a mom!