�teenage girl attempts to rescue her baby brother from the Goblin King.�
L.A. Confidential
�so masterful in showing us the complexity of its main characters that what is familiar�becomes new again.�
The Last of the Mohicans (1992) �I love you but I must kill you�
The Last Samurai (2003) �honor and morality trying to�bridge the gap from one epoch to the next�
The Last Temptation of Christ �uses the life and public ministry of Jesus in order to examine�lifelong struggle between the spirit and the flesh�
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider �developing characters or telling a compelling or even comprehensible story is not on the agendum.�
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen �joyless�
Legend �a fabulous looking fairy tale�with mixed results�
Legends of the Fall (1994) �a two-hour commercial for Marlboro.�
Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events �everything hinges on the grown-ups being amazingly dense and gullible�over and over again�
Letters from Iwo Jima �okay�
The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou �storybook characters colliding with curse words.�
A Life Less Ordinary �Ewan doesn�t so much kidnap her as become a willing accomplice to her split-second decision to kidnap herself.�
Little Big Man �something�s missing�
Little Children (2006) �Not Another Infidelity Movie�
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring �like listening to a good song on the stereo of an overactive teenager, who has the bass all the way up and the treble all the way down.�
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003) �best of the trilogy�
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers �more of the same�a fun movie.�
Lost in Translation �two people who have become exasperated with life and give defenselessness a try�
Love Actually �every possible variation of love�
Lovely and Amazing �never strives for profundity, it is very observant and understands its characters.�
Major Dundee �drunker than a fiddler�s bitch.�
The Maltese Falcon (1941) �the stuff dreams are made of.�
The Man on the Train �will our dying thought be of the lives we have lived, or the lives we could have lived, but didn�t?�
Man Who Knew Too Much (1933) �primitive�but complete�
The Man Who Wasn�t There �existential query�what is my place in the universe if I have absolutely no effect on those around me?�
Marnie (1964) �the mean reds�
Match Point (2005) �they discovered a whole new planet�
Matchstick Men �nothing says �caper� like Frank Sinatra�
Masked and Anonymous �in these troubled times, we need to listen to...a guy who couldn�t enunciate to save his life�
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World �Weir gives his audience a whole lot of credit�
The Matrix �you can only watch someone else playing video games for so long.�
The Matrix Reloaded �better late than never.�
Mean Girls (2004) �say crack again�
Meet the Feebles �the �Citizen Kane� of gross-out movies�
Melinda and Melinda �life is neither tragic nor comic�
Men in Black & Men in Black II �fast, silly, and drowned in special effects.�
Merchant of Venice, The (2004) �the one with Pacino�
Miami Vice (2006) �Sweet, sweet action.�
A Mighty Wind �people who are just a little too goofily sincere about something�
Million Dollar Baby �it�s the part of California that apparently looks like some crappy Midwestern steel town.�
Millions (2004) �many children actually...want to help people and make the world a better place�
Minority Report �aren�t the lives of hundreds worth three freaks?�
Mona Lisa Smile �congratulates us when it should be challenging�
Mondovino �How European.�
Monster (2003) �together they form an odd little family as they roam Florida broke, unemployed, and essentially homeless�
Monty Python and the Holy Grail �if it means anything, it�s a love letter to mankind�s willingness to be stubborn, ridiculous creatures that take their ridiculous world so seriously.�
Moulin Rouge �sheer, overwrought volume drains �Moulin Rouge� of any emotional punch and�replaces it with frustration.�
Mr. and Mrs. Smith (2005) �I�d like to live in a neighborhood where twenty minutes of machinegun fire only summons two neighbors and couple beat cops�
Mrs. Brown �an elegant little film chronicling the relationship between a recently-widowed Queen Victoria and her late husband�s horse attendant.�
Much Ado About Nothing �light as a feather�
Mulholland Dr. �if you do good, you�ll see me once more�
The Mummy (1996) �prime example of what a light action/comedy/fantasy should be.�
The Mummy Returns (2001) �not bad; just unnecessary�
Munich �get receipts�
Murder on the Orient Express (1974) �everyone meet me in the accusation parlor!�
My Big Fat Greek Wedding �unapologetically superficial�gentle, sweet, and sunny.�
My Name is Ivan �the Andrei Tarkovsky version of a Roger Corman movie about WWII�
Mystery Science Theatre 3000: The Movie �I fell out of my chair once, maybe twice during the course of the really great gags.�
Mystic River �the missing girl tests each man to his core�
Napoleon Dynamite �I�m the only one here who knows the secret illegal moves the government teaches its ninjas!�
National Treasure �at least an attempt at a movie, and not just a commercial for one.�
Neon Genesis Evangelion & The End of Evangelion �philosophy explained with giant robots fighting each other.�
The New World (2005) �restless�genuinely romantic�
Die Nibelungen: Siegfried �most magnificent, non-racist silent feature I�ve ever seen�
Nicholas Nickleby (2002) �what a guy�
Nixon (Director's Cut) �a pox on those who bemoan its historical accuracy�
No Country for Old Men �You cant stop whats comin�
Northfork �fanciful and apocalyptic metaphors�
Notes on a Scandal �wicked fun�
Notting Hill �more teeth than a normal person should have�
Novocaine (2001) "talk about quirky"