A very British condition.

 I like beer adverts. They're funny, intelligent, appealing and very memorable- far more memorable and amusing than any of the government's alcohol awareness campaigns. They've not got the budget, the flair or the spending power; besides...who needs a kill joy when girls just want to have fun? With the promise of tranquillity in the Latin Quarter, whatever your demographic- the marketers have got it covered. You're not buying a drink, you're buying an image in a glass, a bottle or a can; distinctive shape, colour, an accent, an ethnicity, a defining feature, a pulling power- it's the drink to be seen drinking! You're a connoisseur, one of the lads, a sophisticated lady.

Adverts add to unbalanced image that drinking is given in the media. Be a wife beater, be drunk and disorderly, be ill the next day at work, be subject to liver damage, chemically dependant, and subject to peer pressure, not wanting to look out of place in the UK (5% abv). Who wants to buy that warning message? It's a hopeless task warning that alcohol is harmful when so many people are observed to drink. The soaps attempt to create a "problem" character as a warning to us all; easily ignorable since the rest of the cast so happily exist, on a daily basis, in the realm of the Queen Vic, Woolpack or what have you. Monday's papers full of your favourite celebrities drunk again at the weekend. It's normal. Heck, even recovering (perhaps) alcoholic George Best, or "him out of the Pogues" are confirmed to be better, far more amusing company whilst drunk. It's endearing, and besides, it never happens to us (although most recent figures quote the toll of alcohol related deaths at 1 in 30).

The tobacco companies claimed that their adverts weren't to encourage new customers, but to encourage brand switching. This argument was shot down in flames. Ads for personal injury lawyers "national accident helpline" and the like, are widely acknowledged to be damaging to society; creating a culture of suing and counter-suing.

Whose fault is it there are waiting lists in hospital when 1 in 3 NHS admissions are drunk? Whose fault is it that police don't have enough time to investigate crimes? Isn't it funny that the media always highlight the dangers of illicit drugs whenever a junkie commits a murder...yet it's far more likely you'll be assaulted or killed by a drunk, or perhaps one of the 500 unfortunates killed by drink drivers each year in the UK. Should we make drunken people pay for their hospital care (1.7 billion per year)? It's a hazardous activity they choose to indulge in, an insurance liability, except we, the taxpayers have to pick up the tab. Britain is like the alcoholic in denial, even when we finally admit we've got a problem, the reluctance to take any firm action is apparent. Aren't the public smart enough to make their own decisions? An argument disproved by the number of people going out, getting drunk and using up our precious police and hospital resources. Even if tax from alcohol covered this (which it doesn't), the human cost is immeasurable. If the media took alcohol's involvement in serious violent crime as seriously as it does on the rare occasions other substances are involved, we'd only begin to comprehend. We don't need a nanny state, we need less corporations encouraging consumption of a product that we already consume too much of. The "enjoy responsibly" message is lost when backed by images of semi naked dancers indulging in the spirit. The question is no longer "Why?”, but "Why not?”  Not finishing your pint is a crime worthy of a brewery sanctioned mafia punishment. With a record amount of leisure time and spending money, it seems any excuse is a good excuse to go out and get drunk.  Pissed comedians, actors, musicians, footballers, radio DJs; they all endorse it in their own special way; getting pissed on nights out, drunk at award ceremonies. Why does the government ban tobacco advertisement, yet doesn't ban alcohol advertising? They're not commercials, but "infomercials" - we're told  - ...if you're going out with the lads to not get drunk, make sure you don't get drunk on our beer/bourbon! (wink) For obvious reasons, it can suit the authority in power to have an unfocused, de-energised public. How can we be reliant on the advertising revenue, whilst spending money on publicity that attempts to quell the drinking culture? Mr Blair, the question I put to you, is when are you going to stand up to the alcohol lobby and "say when"?