MEN ON TOILETS 

 

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 "I've been wanting to put my fit sweaty  bum on the toilet for the last hour.  Pushing a big solid log out now, really  good feeling opening up for it! Heavy  too!  Yeah!  It's going to drop, am I  enjoying this or what!  Big brown  toilet-nugget all set to plunge down the  toilet!"  KERSPLOONK!  "Wow, what  a turn-on getting my balls soaked with  the splash when I do my big ones!"

 

 Getting ready to do one!

 After making a cursory glance to  check the seat is clean, or wiping it  with toilet paper first, guys will sit  down on the toilet adopting a position  of legs wide apart, parallel, or close  together, with trousers, jeans, or  pants either down at his ankles, half  way down or up to his thighs, having  got comfortable on the seat.  In hot  weather, sitting on plastic seats  means you immediately stick to it  with your sweat, so you might shuffle  until you get that perfect feeling of  buttocks and thighs supported, and  the "undercarriage" hanging down  through the seat to catch any water  that splashes up!  Some seats cause  a slight pinching sensation as you  continue to sit there and after a good  long shit, there will sometimes be the  tell-tale sign of what you've been  doing as the imprint of the toilet seat  is visible on your buttocks and thighs.  (Wear short shorts and you can really  display where you sit on toilets!)

 Wooden toilet seats are thicker,  therefore the rim of the seat is less  noticeable.  The most comfortable  wooden seat I ever found had a hole  of only 7 1/2" across, so it felt great  as I sat there sitting on it! Real  luxury!  Some public toilets have  seats that are just two pieces of  wood attached to either side of the  toilet pan, and might take a bit of  wriggling about to get comfortable,  or depending on one's muscular  development, you might feel fine, or  slightly uncomfortable. Seats with a  gap at  the front are uncommon here  in  Britain, although I have found  them  occasionaly.

 Sitting leaning slightly forward like the  guys in the pictures is probably the  most common posture, although  sometimes when trying to do a really  big or difficult turd might make you  want to grab the sides of the seat as  you push, but most grown men have  little left to get hold of as our thighs  usually cover most seats.

 Seat gaskets are not used here, but  some men will tear off toilet paper  before sitting down and place sheets  of it on the seat if they're worried  about any germs, but there's nothing  so good as sitting down on a hot  sweaty toilet seat straight after a fit  healthy guy's just been on for a good  long shit-job!

 If you can't do one, don't worry!  Constipation is a subjective defintion.  It'll come out when it's ready. Some  of us go up to three times a day,  some go twice a week. If it's  comfortable when you shit, there's  no problem!  Just remember -  Constipation is just an anagram of    "I sit  'n' can't poo"!

 

 

 

 

 

 "Masculinising the toilet with a fit pair of  bumcheeks covering the seat, and a big  sausage sticking out of my hole! A nice  relaxing shit and hoping to do some  loud plops!  Anyone waiting to use the  bathroom will hear what I'm doing, and  who's doing it!!  I've just done an  almighty fart that boomed and  reverberated under my plopper!"

 

 PLOP........PLOP...PLIP.....PLOP....  KERPLUNK.......KERSPLOOSH......  PLOP................PLOP...........PLOP.  

 

 

 "With that big smile on my face, my  well-developed bare thigh muscle on the  toilet, and the big plops I'm doing, I  should apply for a job demonstrating  toilets!  I'm really feeling good dropping  these brownjobs!"

 

 "Nice fit pair of hairy legs on the toilet  and the feeling of some turds waiting to  get done down the toilet!  Am I proud to  be seen sitting on the shitter?  You bet!  Hope you enjoy the show and the  sounds!  I usually sit on the toilet for  about ten minutes to do my daily shit,  so you'll be able to sit on a nice warm  seat when I've finished!"

 

 "It's a few years since someone saw  me on the toilet!  I was staying in a hotel  and was having a shit, when a guy about  my age opened the door!  I'd forgotten  to lock it.  Just then I dropped one.  What a splash!  We both laughed and  met again  later on and became good  friends. When either of us wanted a shit,  we'd arrange for the other one to knock  on the door, and the door would be  opened to reveal him or me sitting on  the toilet, looking as though we were  really working hard on trying to drop  one!"

 

 

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