"Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him."

Step Three, I think I made this more complicated then it sounded.  I kept hearing in meetings about the 3 frogs sitting on a lily pad, one decide to jump off. How many frogs was sitting on the lily pad?  The answer is 3, not two.  No one had done anything yet but made a decision. 

Here I was being asked to commit to a God of my understanding.  I was going to align my will and my life's care over to this source. I was to seek direction from this power but I had a problem with the God concept and I had to find something greater then myself to turn my will over too.  I had found a bare beginnings of one in my step two and this was all that was needed.

From what I have heard others say, a God of my understanding or my concept of a higher power,  what ever it is,  will work. Although, when I first came in a 12 Step program,  I had a punishing God, and I had to change that to something more loving and forgiving.  

I took my third step prayer with Hazel, a friend of mine who had been a great help to me in recovery. She and I had even started a NicA group together at one time a couple years before this last quit. At the time of taking Step 3, she was 2 years smober and on ventilator in the hospital as a result of her progressing Emphysema from Asthma and smoking.  Her death was very premature. She was only 52 years old. It had been too late for her and I had moment of clarity.  This too could be me one day. 

The prayer  was said from my heart and in my own words. And was basically said like this:  I asked to be relieved from bondage of myself, so that others could see what my creator can do for me. I asked to be relieved of my difficulties and fears.  And I asked him to help me because I couldn't do it anymore.  

I was willing just to deal with the moment.  I was going to follow direction and not mine about this matter of quitting smoking.  I was going to go inward to where my creator was and seek him, and start looking for the answers as he laid them down before me.

I do use the Third Step Prayer in it's original form from AA and from NicA. It has it's place in my life.  I am a strong believer in using prayers of others and also prayers that have been written from my heart.  Getting personal with my higher power was and is a must for me. Today, I know that my prayers are good enough and they are right where I am suppose to be.  

If I am not clear about what I am wanting God to do for me, I found I could not see the path that was laid down before me.  In the beginning of my recovery, I often found myself very unclear about a lot of things. Taking of the rest of the steps allow me to become clearer. 

Once taking this step, I was immediately ready for the next. 

Your Friend in Recovery,
Carol R

© 1998-2004 Online Nicotine Anonymous Public Information. All rights reserved.

FOOD FOR THOUGHTS

Developing a relationship with God will provide you with guidance for making decisions and solving problems. God has a universal wisdom that goes beyond what you can accomplish through your own intellect. In traditional religions this has been referred to as the "divine intelligence." Through connecting with God, you can draw upon this greater wisdom to help you resolve all kinds of difficulties. By learning to ask God for guidance, you'll be surprised to find that every sincere request sooner or later is answered. And the quality of that answer generally exceeds what you could have figured out through your own conscious intellect or will. Here, God is like your co-pilot. God is always available in the instant of need to those who have made a habit of waiting quietly before Him for insight and guidance.

Follow these guidelines for an effective relationship with God:

1. Be quiet, patient, and open before God
2. Be confident that he will communicate his wishes and help you execute them.
3. Be humble before God - get yourself to right size.
4. Be willing to accept what God provides. He knows best. "Thy will, not mine, be done." Have full trust in the wisdom of God.
5. Ask for knowledge of God’s will and the power to carry it out. If you must ask for something for yourself or others, ask in be done in the highest good of all and if it be his will. Be care of what you ask for, you just might get it.
6. Start looking for God's manifestation through the universe, in forms of written text, nature, other people, dreams and/or within. God will present himself in the way we best understand. Tus, it varies from person to person.

These are some of the characteristics that define a close relationship with God. All of them can significantly contribute to your personal healing process. The extent and sincerity of your commitment will determine the degree of personal healing you experience.

HOMEWORK

1. Read "Nicotine Anonymous: The Program and Tools"

2. Read "How Nicotine Anonymous Works:  Honesty, Openness, and Willingness"

3. Read in our book on chapter on Step 3

4. Read > Step Three from the Big Book Bunch.

5. How will you take the The Third Step Prayer? Who will you do it with?

6. Answer these Third Step Questions

7. Who will be your network of people that will help you? Write down at least a list of 10 support buddies that you will be using to help you in your recovery.

Idea's on support systems:

Family members, Friends, Co-Workers, Nicotine Anonymous group, Smoking Cession clinic/group, Sponsor, buddies,  etc.

8. Read and this just an idea of a Step 3 Commitment  - It is my way only and I am willing to share.  It is very personal to me.  You will find others that may suit you better. 

Remember the quotation by Mark Twain? Maybe you, too, have quit many times before. So you know that staying quit is the final, and most important, stage of the process. You can use the same methods to stay quit as you did to help you through withdrawal. Think ahead to those times when you may be tempted to smoke, and plan on how you will use alternatives and activities to cope with these situations.

More dangerous, perhaps, are the unexpected strong desires to smoke that happen sometimes months, or even years after you've quit. To get through these without relapse, try the following:

§         Review your reasons for quitting and think of all the benefits to your health, your finances, and your family. 

§         Remind yourself that there is no such thing as just one cigarette -- or even one puff. 

§         Ride out the desire to smoke. It will go away, but do not fool yourself into thinking you can have just one. 

§         Avoid alcohol. Drinking lowers your chance of success. 

§         If you are worried about gaining weight, put some energy into eating a healthy diet and staying active with exercise.

What if you do smoke? The difference between a slip and a relapse is within your control. A slip is a one-time mistake that is quickly corrected, whereas a relapse is going back to smoking. You can use the slip as an excuse to go back to smoking, or you can look at what went wrong and renew your commitment to staying away from smoking for good.

Even if you do relapse, try not to get too discouraged. Very few people are able to quit for good on the first try. In fact, it takes most people many attempts before quitting for good. What’s important is figuring out what helped you when you tried to quit and what worked against you. You can then use this information to make a stronger attempt at quitting the next time.

Modified and taken from Guide to Quitting Smoking.