STEP FOUR

"Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. "

Step four was a big matter to me.  This was where my recovery was thrown into action. I got so turned around and if it was not for my sponsor, I don't know what I would  have done. Some of it I made so hard on myself and then other parts, I tried to completely omitted.  Nicotine Anonymous has a questionnaire that I used in conjunction with the fourth step taken out of the big book of Alcoholic's Anonymous.  If you have already worked a fourth step from AA, that is great and you will know how to update it easily. If you have not,  I would suggest that you answer all the question in the questionnaire first, then go to the 4th Step from the AA Book.

 Before I started writing, I asked God to keep me honest. I said it in a prayer each time I sat down to write.  When I became fearful, I asked God to remove my fears and I talked with someone about them.  I was so sure that God was going to reveal to me some deep dark hidden secret that I could not handle.  I had heard that God reveals stuff while we are working our steps but he did not reveal some traumatic event, just some of my character defects. I was about to use fear to stop my progress in the steps. Thank Goodness for my sponsor that told me to keep writing and say my prayers asking God to remove my fears. It gave me courage to continue onwards.

Put your 4th step in a safe place.  You will need to keep this 4th until you have completed 9th step.  

Your Friend in Recovery,
Carol R.

© 1998-2004 Online Nicotine Anonymous Public Information. All rights reserved.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

 

While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a  roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip. The elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, but didn't miss them until they were twenty minutes.

 

Of course, to add aggravation, they had to travel a distance before they could find a place to turn around. All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. He just wouldn't let up one minute.

 

To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant. As the woman got out of the car and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, that old geezer yelled to her.  "Oh honey while you're in there, you might as well get my hat and credit card."

 

Arthur Unknown

HOME WORK

1) Read in our book on chapter on Step 4

2) Please review all of below and discuss with someone your course of action.  I highly recommend doing all the approaches at least sometime over the first year, but at least doing Approach 1 with 2 first, then Approach 3 if you have are having problems with resentments, fears, self-loathing, or staying in a situation after they stopped being useful.  If you have never done a Step 4 (Approach 3) by the way of Alcoholics  Anonymous and want to do one like that.. be sure to find someone who has done one to help you.  I did my last approach, approach 4 around my year marker on being nicotine free, but I continued working the step before I finished.  No matter what way you do it,  ask God to direct you with how to go about it. He will show you. 

Approach 1) Get our book and answer the question in the questionnaire.  Then do approach 2,

Approach 2) Make a list of things I felt Good about and things I felt Bad about > See example below

Things I felt good about

-Why do I feel that was?

-Who else was affected by this?

-Is this part of a pattern?

-Am I responsible for what happened then?

-Do I go on repeating it? How?

Getting  my nurse's license It was something I thought I never could do, but was doing it. I often thought it was by the prayers of another that enable this to come about.  My family no longer had to support me once I got them.  Good things happening to me are generally not a pattern but this one time it was happening. I never understood why until later on in recovery. I had taken the action by showing up to class and doing my homework. Related to the worsening of my addiction process back then, I could not repeat any type of growth until I got into recovery.
Things I felt bad about

-Where they came from?

-What they did to us?

-Why we hung on to them?

-How they affected those around us?

Smoking in my sisters home and I knew she didn't like it especially after the birth of her son. I had to smoke, I had always smoked around her. She grow up in the smoke too, so I figured she could just deal with it if she wanted me around. I knew she worried about the exposure and didn't want her children reap any ill effects from it.

           

Approach 3)  Take a 4th Inventory by the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Please check these links for this. http://www.sober.org/Step4.html and also you may want to use these forms ..  you will need adobe reader on your machine to view them.  Just right click on the link and save as ...

4th-step-instructions.pdf

4th-step-resentments.pdf

4th-step-fears.pdf

4th-step-sex-conduct.pdf

4th-step-harms.pdf

 

Approach 4) Write your personal story  that  tells how you was led into your addiction - what it was like, what happen and what it is like now. 

 

Weight Gain

Many smokers do gain some weight when they quit. Even without special attempts at diet and exercise, however, the gain is usually less than 10 pounds. Women tend to gain slightly more weight than men. There is some evidence that smokers will gain weight after they quit even if they do not eat more.

For some, a concern about weight gain can lead to a decision not to quit. But the weight gain that follows quitting smoking is usually very small. It is much more dangerous to continue smoking than it is to gain a small amount of weight.

You are more likely to be quit smoking successfully if you deal with the smoking first, and then later take steps to reduce your weight. While you are quitting, try to focus on ways to help you stay healthy, rather than on your weight. Stressing about your weight may make it harder to quit. Eat plenty of fruits and vegetables and limit the fat. Be sure to drink plenty of water, and get enough sleep and regular physical activity.

Walking is a great way to be physically active and increase your chances of staying quit. Walking can help you by:

§         reducing stress 

§         burning calories and toning muscles 

§         giving you something to do instead of thinking about smoking

No special equipment or clothing is needed for walking, other than a pair of comfortable shoes. And you can do it pretty much anytime or anywhere. Try the following:

§         walk around a shopping mall 

§         get off the bus one stop before you usually do 

§         find a buddy to walk with during lunch time at work 

§         take the stairs instead of the elevator 

§         walk with a friend, family member, or neighbor after dinner 

§         push your baby in a stroller

Set a goal of 30 minutes of physical activity 5 or more times a week. If you don’t already exercise regularly, please check with your doctor before starting an exercise program.

Modified and taken from Guide to Quitting Smoking.

Go to Step Five

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The opinions expressed on these pages are of the individual who gave them and not necessarily of Nicotine Anonymous. Take what you like and leave the rest.   If you have any questions about  the content of this website please e-mail me at: [email protected]  For conference approved literature please visit the official site. www.nicotine-anonymous.org

 

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