Tech Support Jokes

TECH SUPPORT: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
CUSTOMER: "I don't have a 'P'".
TECH SUPPORT: "On your keyboard, Bob."
CUSTOMER: "What do you mean?"
TECH SUPPORT: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
CUSTOMER: "I'm not going to do that!"

CUSTOMER: "Can you copy the Internet for me on this diskette?"
CUSTOMER: "So that will get me connected to the Internet, right?"
TECH SUPPORT: "Yeah."
CUSTOMER: "And that's the latest version of the Internet, right?"
TECH SUPPORT: "Uhh.. uh... uh... yeah."

CUSTOMER: "My computer crashed!"
TECH SUPPORT: "It crashed?"
CUSTOMER: "Yeah, and it won't let me play my game."
TECH SUPPORT: "All right, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot."
CUSTOMER: "No, it didn't crash - it crashed."
TECH SUPPORT: "Huh?"
CUSTOMER: "I crashed my game. That's what I said before. I crashed my spaceship and now it doesn't work."
TECH SUPPORT: "Click on 'file', then 'New Game.'"
CUSTOMER: (pause) "Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?"

My friend was on duty in the main lab on a quiet afternoon. He noticed a young woman sitting in front of one of the work stations with her arms crossed across her chest and staring at the screen. After about 15 minutes he noticed that she was still in the same position only now she was impatiently tapping her foot. He asked if she needed help and she replied, "It's about time! I pushed the F1 button over twenty minutes ago!"