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| Episode 3: (Filming starts again when Aragorn and the Hobbits are all walking to Rivendell) Sam: -But here�s he leadin� us? Aragorn: Into the wild. I think that the really thick plant growth will slow down the camera people. (Scene cuts to Weathertop) Frodo (stepping on fire): Put it out, you fools! Put it out! They�ll be able to see it! Aragorn (handing swords to the hobbits): Here. Keep these close. The film crew people actually handed them to me. They seem to want everyone to turn on each other and start fighting. (The Filmcrew approach Weathertop. They surround everyone.) Filmcrew #1: There. Now they can�t escape. Filmcrew #2: We�ll get some really good footage this way� maybe I can get a promotion out of this! Filmcrew #3 (to the hobbits): Well, why are you all standing together? Aren�t you going to start fighting with each other or anything? That�s what reality TV�s all about, you know. Sam (brandishing sword at Filmcrew): Back you devils! (Filmcrew #3 pushes him out of the way. Filmcrew #3 can be heard muttering, �If I want anything exciting to happen at all I�ll have to do it myself�) Filmcrew #3 stabs Frodo with Morgul-blade. Frodo (starts screaming) Aragorn: He�s been stabbed with a Morgul-blade! Was that really necessary?! Filmcrew #3: Why don�t you take up that argument with some of your comrades� you know, everyone getting mad at each other and stuff? Filmcrew #3 (mutters under breath): That�ll really be worth filming! Aragorn (looks at Filmcrew and then back at Frodo): This is beyond my skill to heal. He needs elvish medicine. Aragorn (picks up Frodo and runs. The rest of the Hobbits follow) (The Filmcrew try to follow, but end up way behind. It doesn�t matter to them, though, because they�ve placed a hidden camera in the luggage) Sam: But it�s six days to Rivendell! He�ll never make it! Aragorn: Actually, he�ll be okay. He doesn�t really need elvish medicine; I was just looking for a way to escape the cameras. Frodo: See, I�m perfectly fine! The knife was just a prop made out of that foam rubber stuff! (The company stops to rest) Arwen (shows up for no reason whatsoever, and puts the edge of her sword against Aragorn�s neck): What�s this, a Ranger, caught off his guard? Aragorn (really nervous): Uh, honey, what are you doing? Arwen: Oh, there were these camera people back there. They told me to do this. Said it would make things more interesting. I�m getting paid! And I get to be on TV! (Arwen puts the sword away) There are five camera people following you. We must get Frodo to my father! Aragorn: Why? Arwen: Well, all the other people that were illegally signed up for this series are in Rivendell, I figure Frodo might want to come, too. (Everyone starts heading to Rivendell) (Scene cuts to Ford of Bruinen. The Filmcrew have caught up, and are giving instructions) Filmcrew #4: Okay, now just stand at the edge of the water there; we�re going to put some CGI in this shot later so that it�s more exciting to the average audience member. Arwen (says all that elvish stuff. The waters rise up over the Filmcrew, ruining the camera equipment. It doesn�t matter to the Filmcrew, however, because they�ve already placed hidden cameras everywhere between here and Mount Doom) |