From the Lavendar Dragon!

It is terrible to die of thirst at sea.
Is it necessary that you should so salt your truth that it will no longer quench thirst?
(Frederick Wilhelm Nietzsche)

Fear of Same or Paranoia of Same?

A Study in Homophobia and Paranoia.

Technically (and this is the danger of all this genetic research) we are all born bisexual. Sexuality has more to do than simple sexual pleasure. It delves much deeper into our natures, right down to our survival instincts, even to our death anxieties.

Think about Nature in general. Females don’t have to prove anything, males do. This is in part why so many are ordinary, don’t really stand out. The Male has to convince a female that he has what will make her children strong, and survive long enough to make their own selection. So, the Peahen has a bland, ordinary coat that is practical; where the peacock gets this glorious train of feathers that he shows off with all the pride and glory of the Sun. (No, doesn’t exactly apply to humans, but follow me on this.)

Anytime one person does something that is meant to outshine their fellow human, yet in turn strives to get closer to their fellow human, we are expressing our sexuality. Music, art, sports; these are all related to sexuality.

Now, let’s get more personal on this. We are Human. Humans are social animals. We like to be near other humans. This is so important that babies will die without intimate human contact, though we meet every other need. We are each born with a need to be near people, and genetically that does not care if the person you are cuddling with is male, female, or trimale.

Whether nature or nurture programs Sexual arousal (I think with most of us it is a combination of the two) would be a different question. Both genders generally aroused Doric Greeks. I think the problems we are experiencing in Rome-imitating America is of social origin. In the answer of “Nature vs. Nurture,” I am afraid the answer will have to be, “Yes, and if you come back tomorrow we might have a new theory.”

I think some of it is social: Men are expected to be sexually aggressive, women are not. For some men, sex is a safe way of relieving physical stress. It also does not hurt that the same two hormones that govern aggression (Adrenaline and Testosterone) also govern the sex drive. Now, Women have these two, but they have other things to consider. Some of it is biological: A man is done in five minutes, an hour if he is thoughtful. A woman is done when the man is done … and if they have been successful, nine-months or so later she has another commitment to handle.

I am actually of the mind that homophobia is a misnomer. Phobias actually arise from deep within our nature. Spiders and Snakes have earned our fear and respect. They are all predators and dangerous, and all spiders and most snakes are poisonous. So, the fear is there to keep us alive. Where the phobia arises is when we haven’t set our fear as our servants. So, we see these animals on TV, or we see a hose out the corner of our eye, and we panic. We do the dead bug boogie and sing the icky road blues, and teach it to our children. Our nurture enhances the fear, it does not create it.

Homophobia, in my mind, is more of a paranoia. That is, “There is a subject to be mindfully faced, and yet we are thinking about anything but that subject, no mater how close we actually get to it.” I mean, just because I wanna have a committed relationship with someone my gender doesn’t mean I am going to force anyone else to enjoy such a relationship. So, what are they afraid of? Whatever the answer is, is what they are thinking around, and not really thinking about.

Homophobia runs deeper than simply hating or fearing someone who is queer, open or closeted. It is a fear of being less than a man, whatever that means. It comes from faulty thinking about the human condition: women cry, men do not; women are irrational men are rational; women are weak and stupid, men are strong and intelligent. In a society where such a paradigm is used, of course it will be enhanced by the expected behavior of its membership. If women are expected to be stupid, they will be educated — overtly and covertly — with this in mind. This has been identified as the failing of the IQ tests, in that they test both expectations and cultural specifics for the wasp-male. It isn’t fair. A bushman may not know what an automobile is because he has never seen one, but I wonder if the white master would survive in the bush.

The first step toward war and genocide begins with a lie. That lie usually says something like, “They are not human, therefore we can kill them and take their stuff.” Maybe they do not rationalize it in that sort of language. Maybe no one rationalizes it until someone pulls the trigger. Truth is, a thought can manifest as a word, and a word can become an action. Can you really call someone a subhuman demon if you are looking them in the face?

Now, I know my reader is asking what does misogyny has to do with homophobia. Actually, it goes to the deepest lie we are fond of telling ourselves. We like to think ourselves superior to every other person on Earth. Yet, as we look out there, we find this is simply not so. We travel to Africa and South America to bring civilization to the poor barbarian, only to find they had vast civilizations come and go several times while we were still organizing our empires. Modern Anthropologists cannot imagine a Habilis or Neanderthal with the technological sophistication of a Sapient, and so the evidence is ignored, altered, or destroyed to fit the theory (a sin for a scientist in any age or society). And to have a fellow, White male who refuses to accept his role as Supermenschen, and dresses a little like a woman, and actually likes to be receptive in bed, I suppose it renders him fearful that he will have to admit that he would like to do that, too … sometimes.

It has been a lesson of history, that people do not behave well when they are afraid. So, queers and Lezzies have been lynched, slaughtered, and denied basic human rights as well as constitutional rights (14^th amendment), just because of what we might want to do in the privacy of our own homes. Some of us are even more frightening than that. While the brutality against Queers has been severe and relentless, the brutality against SatyaGrahis is even more severe. Why, when all we want to do is love, and have those in power respect us as humans. We don’t always want a share in that power, just to live, and live well.

For some strange reason, I frighten some sorts of religious and political fascists. I am Gay, Satanic Pagan, and a SatyaGrahi. Why are they afraid, I wonder? Of all those, SatyaGraha frightens them the most. Great and powerful Khans and half-naked lawyers throw down their weapons and ask only that those in power behave themselves with other people’s lives; the powerful respond with incredible violence — more violence than when faced with violence — and throw their leaders into jail without due process. Someone learns that I am gay and they get all wigged out. I have a cure for the “Wiggs”; Let’s have coffee sometime. Rather, coffee sometimes, ice cream on others, have a couple of rip-roaring arguments, and maybe a zap or a visit to someone’s deathbed together. If we do this enough times, maybe, we will recognize each other — Straight, Gay, Undecided, sexual Transcent — as humans, struggling for meaning, struggling to exist.

SatyaGraha is a moral argument. It is not an easy one to present. Passive submission to brutality is a mortal sin. Maybe submission will let you live a little longer, in a sort of half-life, where we are only there to serve the powerful who give us enough crumbs to have us believe we are important to them. The British murdered 80-thousand souls in the Pashtun Pass when Ghaffar Khan raised the first and only SatyaGrahi army on Earth. I wonder, would you be able to die for your cause? If not, then arm yourself or run. It would be easier to evolve from the violent to the nonviolent action. The largest population of peace activists is veterans. On the other hand, evolving from the nonviolent to the violent only renders your side of the argument false, and grants your oppressor their victory over you. You have become them, or their butt monkey.

Better than the lesser Jihad (the battle against neighboring enemies) is the Greater Jihad (the battle against evil within one’s self). It is one thing to strive against homophobia by striking up a friendship with Queers and Lezzies. Better – and we can help with this – is to face the monsters within our own soul, face our fears. Then, and only then, can we see that other person as a person, not as a demon to be destroyed and despoiled. This is the moral argument of SatyaGraha; there is a monster within you, let us help you defeat it so we can have dinner together.

Respect based on accomplishment can only be given by those who are humble, wise, and themselves worthy of respect.
From those who have achieved little or nothing and are ego-starved and insecure, respect can only be gained through fear.
Anton LaVey, The Satanic Witch.