Christian, the Epic Tale

  In this epic tale we follow the mighty bearded Christian, looking on his epic journey, from a boy, into the legend that we see today. From an early age this man was bearded, and was also a man. He grew the his first full beard after defeating The Great Kraken in 2000BCE when he was only seven years old. From this moment on he was christened(no pun intended) by the Gods to serve man-kind. I'm actually pretty sure it was a joke.
  Through the ages we see mythology based off of this amazing man. *cough* Hercules *cough*, *cough* Thor *cough*. They epic power is now dulled down due the epic "Fart of Oden" which was cast upon this hero, putting him into a terrible but long search for the funniest fart. All of his powers will be useless until this gift is found.