Coral’s Guide to Ritual Etiquette

Practices within the Pagan community vary widely. While a generally tolerant lot, many Pagans have very specific ideas and approaches concerning the elements of their rituals. When invited to attend a group’s event, it is important to make an effort to understand and respect their Tradition.

The following are general guidelines and do not by any means apply to all Traditions. In fact, some Traditions may have contradictory practices, while for others they are simply non-issues. They are written for people who are new to the Pagan Path or solitaires who are making their first contacts with Pagan groups. However, those with more ritual experience may also find these guidelines helpful. (It should also be noted that while some of the guidelines are pretty obvious, rest assured that I’ve seen most of them played out - and I have been guilty of more than a few transgressions myself!)

Remember, being invited to a group’s ritual is a great honor. It means that they trust you enough to bring you into sacred space and to share this part of their lives with you. In return, you honor them with your presence and the energy you contribute to the rite. You should always feel comfortable asking questions and clarifying anything you don’t understand before the ritual begins. And if you screw up, don’t sweat it. We all make mistakes!

  1. When invited to a ritual, unless otherwise specified, the invitation is for YOU and only YOU. Sometimes the invitation will include your spouse, partner, or children, but do not assume anything. Ask. And an invitation definitely does not include you, your friend, her girl friend, the cool neighbor downstairs, and everybody you know who might be interested in Witchcraft.
  2. If you are told that children are welcome at a ritual, remember that they are still your responsibility, and you should take care to watch them and insure that they do not disrupt the celebration - or wreck the host’s house.
  3. Do not arrive at the ritual under the influence of alcohol or drugs. No matter your philosophical position or lifestyle choices, this is one time you really need to “Just say NO!”
  4. Do not bring companion animals, lest they piss upon the West altar (happened) or fart during the meditation (happened - often), or otherwise disrupt the proceedings.
  5. Dress appropriately. If you are told “robes” are required, make or find a ritual robe. Generally speaking, “ritual attire” and other such terms do not mean flip-flops, shorts, and a tee shirt. And “skyclad” means “dressed only in the sky”, a.k.a. naked.
  6. Offer to help in set up or preparation. Although you should probably question the ethics of anyone who charges a fee for ritual, a request by your hosts of a contribution of time and energy, a dish for potluck afterwards, or even a candle, incense, or other ritual supplies to be used in this ritual, is completely reasonable.
  7. Leave your beepers and cell phones outside the circle and turn them off. If there is a really good reason to have them on your person the entire time (new baby sitter watching the wild child or something) check with the ritual leader and at least set the phone or pager to vibrate.
  8. Do not enter or leave a Circle once it has been cast. The Circle is sacred space with a specific boundary. If you must leave after a Circle is cast, let the person who cast the Circle know and she will “cut a door” for you. If you want to enter a Circle after it has been cast, it probably means you were late and, well, you should never be late!
  9. If the group says that they enter the Circle in “Perfect Love and Perfect Trust”, they should mean it, and usually do. These are not just pretty words. If you can’t enter the Circle in this state of love and trust, don’t enter it at all.
  10. Do not move “widdershins” (counter-clockwise or “against the sun”) in a Circle unless you are instructed to do so. Movement within the circle is usually “deosil” (clockwise or “sun-wise”) except for banishing or sometimes drawing-in. In many traditions, this includes the direction in which you turn around. (Practical “duh” tip: clockwise is always to your right!)
  11. Ritual is not a spectator sport. You will usually be expected to participate, if only on an energy level. Make sure you understand the level of participation expected.
  12. Do not touch any magickal tools (athames, wands, statues, jewelry, etc.) without the expressed consent of the owner.
  13. Although a certain amount of mirth is OK (and often encouraged!), it is generally not a good idea to talk or laugh during invocations, meditations, etc.
  14. Do not eat, drink, or smoke in ritual except when instructed to do so. (Given the weather here, I don’t think most groups would fault you for drinking water during a summertime outdoor ritual, but you still ought to ask). And since we’ve established that smoking is not allowed, there is no need to tell you that lighting your cigarette from the power candle is generally frowned upon (happened).
  15. Candles should be snuffed or pinched out, not blown out.
  16. The ritual fire and fire pit are sacred - before, during, and after a ritual! Do not discard cigarette butts, paper cups or plates, or other trash, even if it is highly flammable and even perhaps “natural”, in the fire.
  17. Check with the ritual leader about any deity images you bring. Although you may work well with a particular deity, this may not be the case for the host group, and the deity may even be viewed as incompatible with those normally included by the hosts.
  18. Many Witches are often oath-bound to keep certain aspects of their Tradition secret and to not share them with non-initiates. You shouldn’t expect a group to completely expose themselves to you, and you shouldn’t take it personally if they don’t. Don’t let any of this discourage you from asking questions - just realize that you may not get an answer. However, you also shouldn’t feel obligated to do or to witness anything that you find questionable. There are many ethical traditions with oath-bound secrets out there, but there are also some predators using the “Pagan” movement as cover.
  19. Remember that within the Circle time looses it’s meaning. You should plan your after-ritual activities accordingly.
  20. Rituals are private. What happens and who was there are confidential matters and should not be discussed with outsiders.

Drums have an etiquette all there own. I am not a drummer, but until someone corrects me, here is what I have been told about drum etiquette:

  1. A drum laying on its side and/or covered is off limits. Like other ritual tools, leave it alone.
  2. A standing, uncovered drum is often open to share, but you should ask.
  3. Remove all rings as they might damage the drumhead or even cause injury to yourself. The same would probably be true of any dangling wrist jewelry.
   
   
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This page was last updated February 10, 2003
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