It was getting a little crowded in heaven, so God
decided to change the admittance policy. The new law
was that, in order to get into heaven, you had to have
a real bummer of a day when you died. The policy would
go into effect at noon the next day.
The next day at 12:01, the first person comes to
the gates of heaven. The angel at the gate,
remembering the new policy, promptly says to the man,
'Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how your
day was going when
you died.'
'No problem,' the man says. 'I came home to my 25th
floor apartment in my lunch hour and caught my wife
half-naked and appearing to be having an affair, but
her lover was nowhere in sight. I immediately began
searching for him. My wife was yelling at me as I
searched the entire apartment. Just as I was about to
give up, I happened to glance out onto the balcony and
noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by
his fingertips! The nerve of that guy!
'Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his
fingers until he fell to the ground. But wouldn't you
know it, he landed in some trees and bushes that broke
his fall and he didn't die. This ticked me off even
more. In a rage, I went back inside to get the first
thing I could get my hands on to throw at him. Oddly
enough, the first thing I thought of was the
refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out onto the
balcony, and tipped it over the side. It plummeted 25
storeys and crushed him! The excitement of the moment
was so great that I had a heart attack and died almost
instantly.'
The angel sits back and thinks for amoment.
Technically, the guy did have a bad day. It was a
crime of passion. So, the angel announces, 'OK sir
Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven,' and lets him in.
A few seconds later the next guy comes up.
'Before I can let you in, I need to hear about what
your day was like when you died.'
The man says, 'No problem. But you're not going to
believe this. I was on the balcony of my 26th floor
apartment doing my daily exercises. I had been under a
lot of pressure so I was really pushing hard to
relieve my stress. I guess I got a little carried
away, slipped, and accidentally fell over the side!
'Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the
fingertips on the balcony below mine. But all of a
sudden this crazy man comes running out of his
apartment, starts cussing, and stomps on my fingers.
Well of course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes at
the bottom that broke my fall so I didn't die right
away. As I'm laying there face up on the ground,
unable to move, and in excruciating pain, I see this
guy push his refrigerator of all things off the
balcony. It falls the 25 floors and lands on top of
me, killing me instantly.'
The angel is quietly laughing to himself as the man
finishes his story.
'I could get used to this new policy,' he thinks to
himself. 'Very well,' the angel announces, 'welcome to
the Kingdom of Heaven,' and he lets the man enter.
A few seconds later, a third man comes up to the
gate. The angel is warming up to his task. 'OK, please
tell me what it was like the day you died.'
The man says, 'OK, picture this. I'm naked inside
this refrigerator.
