his daily mantra: i'm a supermodel
name: jose maria fernandez
nicknames: mar joe, mariah, sirius black
alias: mariah carey (don't ask me, ask him! - icebox)
don't send him forwarded messages at: [email protected]
date of entrance into the world: october 29, 1977 (he's the oldest among the shitz)
hometown is: iloilo
feeling lang nationality niya ay: venezuelan
models of choice: wants to be esther cañadas, wants to do jason shaw (gets mo?)
show your true colours: yellow ("it's such a gay color.")
fanatic to: the harry potter series, the emperor's new groove, jason shaw, adam garcia (ooh...kevin o'doll!), louis vuitton's, mariah carey (yeah yeah yeah we get it)
ain't he weird: before answering his calls, he dances first to his ringing tone which is the charlie's angels theme
preference: potatoes, not rice
if there was a movie about mar joe's life, these are the songs that would probably end up in the soundtrack:
- gotta tell you - samantha mumba
- what you need - hoku
- music of my heart - gloria estefan feat. *nsync ("i love jc...he looks like jason shaw!")
- this i promise you - *nsync
- i turn to you - christina aguilera
- shape of my heart - backstreet boys
- reason for breathing - babyface
- back at one - bryan mcknight
- sing sweet nightingale - from walt disney's cinderella
- i will survive - gloria gaynor
- over and over - puffy
- my friend and me - sting from walt disney's the emperor's new groove
- i still believe - mariah carey
- ...and the rest in mariah carey's discography
memorable movies: the emperor's new groove (when you watch this movie, it's like you're seeing mar joe in action - cusco totally reminds you of him), love affiar, the cure, dying young, silence of the lambs, death becomes her (everybody now, "i am me, i am me, i'm a mother, star and lover, and i like what i see!") - "dami e!" or so he texts...
favoured animated villains: überwitch maleficent from walt disney's sleeping beauty ("why wasn't i inVIted?") and izma from the emperor's new groove
if you were a disney character, who'd you be?: "sino pa e di si aurora...iyong 'i wonder...i wonder'"
moment of triumph: he went through with his rhinoplasty! (he'd been talkin' about it for ages) - and afterward his nose bled like an idiot...as if he had menstruation because blood was sprawling all over
memorable places: star city, valle verde 2, tapa king - la salle (danggit power!), power plant ("so there i was in my kenneth cole number...") and the immortal starbucks - la salle
goal in life: no, it's not to become mariah carey...it's to teach kids back home in iloilo (don't you just love him?)
claim to fame: he works at bloomberg in new york (ugh, don't you just hate him?)
redeeming factor: he's the cornerstone of the shitz (and purveyor of the redeeming factor theory)
memorable quotes (oh gawd there are so many of 'em!):
honey, i'm not using you...i'm using him!
pick a finger...
mamatay na ang virgin!
there's a wall there
is that my voice? is that MY voice?
ooh...beware of the groove...
all right children...settle down...settle down
okay...
(on his nose job) it's not about wanting to look american. it's about wanting to look better.
(when he sees garbage/pollution) god, your country!
what do i care i'm venezuelan anyway
(on him being a bitch) consider the people i live with!
graaavvvveeeeeeehhh!!!
icebox productions ©2001
