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Nov 22, 2002 The ventral part of his scrotal skin had turned red, and there was a blister with a diameter of about two centimeters (0.8 inches)...Two days later, the blisters broke and the wounds became infected and then crusted Comment 1: Looks like laptop usage requires a ROCKET scientist... Nov 20, 2002 Just before the kiss of death, his pal said, "OK, man, you're being stupid." Well, duh... Folks, unless you have an insatiable desire to help clean out the gene pool, you should never play tonsil-hockey with a rattler... Nov 20, 2002 News flash, Justin: when Eminem shows up backstage at the next NSync concert, he ain't gonna be looking for Chris... To quell the rumors of NSync's "sexual preferences", Justin goes on to say, "I can honestly say that I’ve never seen Joey, Lance, JC or Chris’ penis." That's because they're all BEHIND you, you moron... Nov 18, 2002 You'd think he could find something better to purchase with his ill-gotten booty than a warm can of Hamm's... Nov 16, 2002 "Michigan Studies Weekly," a newspaper/teacher's aid distributed to 462 teachers statewide and used to help educate grade-schoolers, published that there are whales in Lake Michigan. "Every spring, the freshwater whales and freshwater dolphins begin their 1,300-mile migration from Hudson Bay to the warmer waters of Lake Michigan." The parent company, Studies Weekly, said they gleened this amazing revelation from some website. After being told of the absurdity of their article, they posted a retraction and apology on their own website. But the best part is that these morons said, "We want this to be a lesson to YOU...Not all Web sites are true, and YOU cannot always believe them. When researching, YOU should always look for a reliable site that has credentials." Teachers all across Michigan were reportedly heard muttering, "yeah, well, fuck YOU..." Sept 29, 2002 Oooh-kaayyy. At a scale-destroying 116 lbs.,we'll just call you "Trunky" from now on, 'k babe? "You don't have to be perfect to be beautiful. Beauty comes from the inside, it shines out of your eyes" Wow, that's deep...now, drag yer fat ass over here and sit on papa's lap... Sept 23, 2002 A Roselle teenager suffered second-degree burns during a game with two other boys where they would splash gasoline on their pants, set them on fire, then try to put them out. Police said none of the boys would be charged in the incident because "being totally stupid is not a crime." Altogether, now...IT SHOULD BE Whatever happened to the good ol' days when kids simply got drunk and lit their farts...? Sept 26, 2002 John Pope, 39, ordered a limousine to pick him up from his hotel in Moline after he robbed a bank Tuesday in the western Illinois community. Unfortunately for Pope, his driver was a retired police officer Ain't life a bitch? No word in the article if he picked up hookers along the way, claiming to be a Penthouse photographer. Stay tuned... Sept 25, 2002 If that weren't enough, they're also adding "ass-backwards", one of our FAVORITES! No mention on "bass-ackwards", tho'... Aug 22, 2002 Devil’s Lake, North Dakota (AP) - High school teams here no longer will be known as the Satans, the school's nickname for nearly 80 years. Supporters of the change said the Satans nickname had brought…a negative image "It's hard to stand up and cheer for the Satans," said Kellie Karlstad One can only imagine what their cheerleading squad came up with for routines... Aug 23, 2002 This guy just won the National Scrabble Championship. Check out his pic, he has an expression that would give Hannibal Lector the willies... Sherman lives in the Bronx borough of New York City and said he hasn't held a regular job in more than a decade. "This is all I do," he said. Dad must be proud... Sherman plans to use the $25,000 prize money for living expenses Let's see, in New York, that prize money should buy him a shiny new refrigerator box, a larger spray bottle and a bright red squeegy until he wins his next tournament... Aug 27, 2002 Aug 22, 2002 And then he was sentenced to a year in jail after showing up intoxicated for his court-imposed community service. How stupid is that, huh? Funny thing is, how did the cop know Kocur was MWI (Mowing While Intoxicated)? Did the cop think he was swerving too much, and Kocur argued he was just trying to avoid hitting a tree? Was it improper use of hand signals before making a turnaround to mow the opposite direction? Did Kocur have to take a field sobriety test…in an actual field? So many questions, so few answers... Aug 21, 2002 Folks, if it makes fire, leave it in your goddammed pocket, OK? Read this moron's story at CNN Aug 19, 2002 Original post is gone, but CNN still has a blurb about it here Idiot of the week, Sept 2, 2002 Comic of the week, Sept 2, 2002 Aug 16, 2002 He hijacks a plane back in 1980 to fly home to Cuba. Then he comes back to the U.S., asking for legal resident status, ignoring the fact that there is no statute of limitations for hijacking. The best part: INS officials didn’t have to leave their offices to nab him, HE CAME TO THEM. Thanks for making it easy on us, jackass... Read about it at CNN Aug 5, 2002 This kid is no different. Except that he was stupid enough to do it ON AN AIRPLANE. Whatever happened to the good old days, when people just pissed on the snack cart? Read about this moron at AZCentral Aug 02, 2002 I can just imagine how this one played out... “Hold your fire, the front door is opening…” Read about this idiot at The
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