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On this page you will find helpful ideas that can assist you in making your marriage a Terrific Marriage.  Content will be added often so check here regularly.

I have found that in just about every aspect of life, it only takes about 5% more effort to turn average into exceptional.  That being the case then, why do so many people settle for a good stable relationship when, with only 5% more effort, our relationship could be exceptional, and terrific.  
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being as bad as it gets and 10 being absolutely perfect (the best possible on earth), where would you rate your relationship with your companion?  I think of the 8, 9, and 10 area as the TERRIFIC ZONE.  

This page is dedicated to helping you with the behavior that makes a relationship TERRIFIC.  

Do You Have Too Many Irons in the Fire?©

Did you ever hear the phrase, "You have too many irons in the fire?"  It comes from the world of the Black Smith.  A blacksmith works with iron in the fabrication of tools, and all kinds of metal building material such a hinges, door latches, hangers, and even horse shoes.  In order for him to do his work he has to heat the metal in fire until it becomes soft, then he beats it with a hammer upon an anvil until it takes on the shape of the finished product.  

Sometimes the smith becomes overly ambitious and puts more pieces of metal into the fire than he can adequately attend to.  This usually results in the metal being overheated which reduces its quality and ultimately produces an inferior finished product that will often break under stress.  This illustrates the dangerous condition characterizing  many families today.  Fathers, mothers, and children, trying to do too many things, are unable to do any of them adequately, and the finished product is often flawed and not what it could be.  I thought that the purchase of a computer would allow me to do what I do much more efficiently and allow me more free time to relax and enjoy my family.  Wrong!  In my home the computer very quickly became a time sucker.  There are so many gadgets and toys available these days for husbands and wives, and each of them require our time.  Most folks have more toys than they have time to play with.  Most of us have too many irons in the fire.  We find ourselves running from one 'thing' to another from early to late, and when the day is spent, and we lay trying to go to sleep, the thought occurs to us:  " I  neglected something very important today."  Then it's too late for that day.

If that 'very important thing' happened to be the Lord, your spouse, your children, your God-given purpose in life, etc., you may have too many irons in the fire, and like the blacksmith, the finished product of your life will ultimately become inferior and in danger of breaking under stress.  That product today is too often marriage. 

So what is one to do?  Get some irons out of the fire.  Sit down with your spouse and talk about what is going on, or not going on in your marriage and family, and how the situation can be rectified.  Then change your behavior accordingly.   Most men spend more time assessing the running condition of their automobile than they spend assessing the quality of their marriage.  The same can be said for far too many wives.  Too many families have their priorities out of order.  

Every morning, before the pressures of the day are felt, ask God to show you what He wants you to do that day.  Make that 'priority number one' on your list of things to do for the day.  Ask your spouse for the most important thing you can do for her/him that day, and make that the second task on your priority list, then consider your children, grandchildren or whoever looks to you for guidance and support, and determine what you need to do for them that day, and put that in the third priority slot.  You might have to write those three things down in order to remember to do them.  Get them done as early in the day as possible.  You might have to review your list often throughout the day.  

Every night, before you go to sleep, think over your day and review what you spent your time doing.  "Did I accomplish my highest priorities?"  If not, don't beat up on yourself or put yourself down, just move the tasks to  tomorrow's list and ask God to help you do better tomorrow.  

If your list keeps piling up from the previous day, and creates another 'too many irons in the fire' situation for you, you haven't changed your behavior yet.  Make this a matter of prayer and go back and start over.  You are looking for the long-term result, not the short term.  NEVER STOP, NEVER QUIT!  Keep it up and before too long you will have moved up a notch toward the TERRIFIC ZONE in the scale above.  And it will all be worth the effort.

Have a great rest of your life in Jesus!

Fan or Cheerleader?©

I have found that marriages and families typically function according to one of two models.  Do you behave like a fan or like a cheerleader.

When the score is 30 to nothing and the home team is winning, what are the fans  doing?  They are cheering of course!   What are the cheerleaders doing?  They are cheering too.  And they are leading the fans to cheer.  That's what they're supposed to do -- they are cheerleaders!

When the score is 30 to nothing and the home team is loosing, what are the fans doing?  They are BOOING and complaining and criticizing.  But what are the cheerleaders doing?  They are cheering, even harder, louder, and more enthusiastically than ever.  After all, they are cheerleaders!

So how does your family behave when the score is 30 to nothing and you're winning?  Usually everyone is cheering each other on and behaving in a very cheerful manner.  When all is going well and we are happy it is easy to be cheerful and have an encouraging attitude.

But how do you behave when the score is 30 to nothing and you're loosing?  Do you get in a bad mood, start finding fault, criticize other family members?  Do you Boo your husband when he doesn't come through as you had hoped he would?  Or do you cheer him on and encourage him to do better next time?  When your wife is down because of personal failure, do you act toward her like a fan, or like a cheerleader?  What about those times when your teenager lets you down, do you act toward him like a fan or like a cheerleader? 

Think about that for a while and go put on a cheerleader's uniform.  It just might move you up a notch on that scale at the top of this page.

Have a great rest of your life in Jesus!

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