This is from a journal of mine but I edited somethings out since there was more than just the following in itCrackwhores and gutburgers... 7/29/2003
So here I am on the net listening to little happy songs about killing people (Spice One - Born to Die to be exact), when my mom comes and in and is like "Boy, I thought I told you to let me use that net" and she does the funky black hand thing the girls do on those black comedies shows... I find those shows really amusing because I don't understand them at all (WHo am I kidding... I don't understand anything)...
SO my mom gets off like 10 to 2300... and we go to Portland... I hate portland... I really do... If I wanted to see fat crackwhores I'll go visit with my mom's friends... Anyways... Before we go my Mom desides she wants to bring along some cans.. I'm like "Coo'"... I'm expecting some bags... You know... But my mom comes with like 7 huge black garbage bags with cans in them and I'm smashed and the beer is startibng to make me smell like grandma but I manage.... My little sister is buried in them... She couldn't talk... It was great...
So we go and cash them in... I'm having fun sticking cans in machines and getting money for it (God damn, I love america) and I start to get some crazy ideas about deranged safeway workers who lost their arms in the can machine and shoot up PCP and eat the skins off of rabbits... Yeah...
To make this really long retarded story to a close... We cashed in 48 dollars and 85 cents worth of cans o_O...
My little sister (Its Midnight thirty at this point) is like I want mcdonalds... and so my mom orders mcdonalds... I take one bite and vomit...
Mcdonalds.... We love to see you smile... MY ASS! You can't smile while chunks of undercook meat fly out of your mouth...
So I think McDonalds need a new Solgan...
Something like "We make alright fries but our hamburgers are shit" or something like "School isn't the only place that users mystery meat"... You know a Sholgan that really describe them... I think I got a good one... "Undercook meat never killed anyone special"... That describes mcdonalds right there... There meat is undercooked and they are bastards...
Only one on is Alex... Hes cooler than playing kick the can with a man in a wheelchair but I think I'll go to sleep soon....
Heres a peice of chat that I thought was funny. More are in the Chats section.
Dated: July, 1st 2002
mrtmbg6962:The same. The computer's been gay lately so I've been bored, quite bored.
thenakedgrandma:THats to bad. Ifs my computer was gay, we could mate them
mrtmbg6962:Wow, what a good idea.
thenakedgrandma:It is. It would make like a super gay
computer
thenakedgrandma:Like a micheal jackson of the computer
age
thenakedgrandma:with out the molesting part
mrtmbg6962:Hahaha...I wouldn't doubt it.
- Quotebook
- LawnWork
- Part One
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