Here I sit living the life of a psuedo-cinderella. I can't have a life, I get ignored. No-one ever listens to me. I only get talked to. I can't have a fucking life! I'm stuck home because he fucking ignored me! We discussed it and he just refused to actually hear me. Apparently I'm stupid. I can't do anything right. Everything is always my fault. But when he needs something from me it's ok to talk. When he has problems it's ok to talk. When he can push me to thinking up creative ways to kill myself, something is wrong. I need to get out of here. I can't live this life anymore. It's killing me. I only get used. By everyone. They love me, take my love and kindness then leave me. What would they do if I just left them? They probably wouldn't care except for the fact that they couldn't use and abuse me anymore. So fuck them. Fuck them all! I hate this! I hate this life! I need to be free. Free of all this shit they put me through. Death seems the only way out but it would hurt too much. I need someone to be here for me for once. Someone to listen to ME. The angels are the only ones that are there and I can't fucking get to them cause I'm a god damn pussy. I want out. I want out of this hell. I can't stand it anymore. I need to go somewhere where I can be free. It hurts. It hurts so god damn fucking much! He's going to end up killing me, they all are and then they'll see. They'll die without me here to listen to them, to clean up after them, to be strong for them when I can't even be strong for myself. I want to curl up and die, just go away and die somewhere. It's not fucking fair! I hate him I hate you I hate them I hate every fucking thing that exists in the godforsaken world, in this fucking hell that I live. I need someway to let this all out. No-one understands me. They don't even bother to fucking try to understand. They just push me away push me away push me away. They push and push but I'm not strong enough to leave. I was too stupid to be able to leave. I made ties in this world that I don't want to break. I hate being used. I hate being me. They hate me for being me but love me because I'm so easy. I'm easy to hate I'm easy to use I'm easy to fuck but I'm not easy enough to kill, but that's only because I'm not strong enough to do it myself. I wish someone would just come and do it for me. I'm tired of waiting for the end. The end needs to be here now...
K Tone
7/27
