November
"Hummingbird hums but you only hear the buzz,
life has lost its color, the lines begin to fuzz.."
-Ashes "My Head"
11-23-02
Hey y'all, what's new? Not much over here... I'm estatic though, in a few aspects, one being that my friend Paki is coming to visit me =0)That makes me happy... more than most of y'all will ever know... Ashes is working on it's second CD, "Dust to Dust". Lyrics will be posted spurratically. The first two tracks are up right now... I'll probably gone for the next week or so, have lots of crud to do... so in the meantime, I leave you with a sermon...
Sermon 5: Thank you
For the record, I am not always a negative
person. I love life, I love events, I love holidays. However, because of
commercialization, exploitation, and propaganda, the original meanings
of holidays have been killed. St. Patricks day, for example, was an Irish
holiday used to celebrate the Irish Catholic saint who drove the snakes
out of Ireland.
St. Valentines day ... or did you even recognize
it with the word "Saint" in front of it?...was also made in homage to a
Saint (obviously named Valentine). He died on February 14, 269 A.D., the
same day that had been devoted to love lotteries. Legend also says that
St. Valentine left a farewell note for the jailer's daughter, who had become
his friend, and signed it "From Your Valentine". Interesting bit of history,
yes? Valentine was then made the patron saint of lovers... but that's another
sermon. So I digress: people miss the point of holidays. Yes they are celebrations
for events that happened in the past, but my gripe is, who really knows
Thanksgiving? Thanksgiving was celebrated in honor of the Native Americans
who helped the lazy, confused, and starving "Pilgrims" survive not only
their first winter, but many winters after that. These same people were
later shot, scalped, and pushed onto reservations to later build casinos.
How do we honor them? One day a year we stuff our faces and watch a football
game. Thank you Cherokee, Blackfoot, and Souix. That is not Thanksgiving,
that is Gluttons Day, when Christmas sales are starting, the population
is going broke from buying early gifts, shoppers are growing hostile, diet
supplements being bought in gross to keep the people from growing even
moreso obese, and it is all MADNESS! Now, the last
thing I am saying is that there should be no thanksgiving. FAAAAAR from
it. I think that if nothing else, family's should come together for one
evening and be grateful that they're together, despite differences, and
count their blessings. On the other hand, I think family's should do this
more than once a year. Screw, individually, I do it every day.
I am thankful that i have my parents, my grandparents, the whole family!
My beautiful cousin Bridget, my Melissa and my Megan, and my love of my
life Joshiez! I thank God for the life of Paki, the fashion show, the things
in my life some people only dream of, like heating and a roof over
my head, and a family to come home to. I am grateful I have friends like
Sarah, Liz, Nicole, Anna, Kaitlyn, and a litany of other people by my side.
I am thankful for Chrysalis, for the Internet, and my education. And as
mathmatically "brilliant" as I am, I am THANKING GOD
that I can not count high enough to count all of my blessings... So ladies
and gentlemen, do not be one of 250 million Americans to celebrate Gluttons
Day. Do not watch the Macy's parade, stuff yourself stupid with dead bird
and grease, and then yell at a football game halfway across the country
through a metal box... Have a Thanksgiving. We never know what we
have until we've lost it, so be glad for what you have, for God's sake
be glad for what you don't have, thank people who have made an impact
on your life, thank whatever deity you believe in, thank your lucky stars
if you must... and thank you for being who you are inside.
11-15-02
11-10-02
Hey y'all.... wow.. i'm still euphoric from
the fashion show. Y'all have no idea... I think...no, I know I had
the time of my life. This is what I want to do- the designs, model selection,
creative juice flow, the preshow stress, the anticipation of the reactions
to the line, the preshow pep talk and photo ops, newspaper interviews,
the show itself, and postshow parties... *deep breath* It's all so wonderful!...
sometimes I think if it weren't for fashion I would have cracked long ago.
What else would I have? What would I want to do with my life? I'd just
be another collegebound highschool graduate with good grades trying to
"find myself". Well I've never quite lost myself, (although I've
lost my mind quite a few times) but i'm not perticularly excellent at
any one thing. Basketball? Good. Dance? Pretty good..bordering great. Academics?
I can hold my top 10, but you don't earn money by getting good grades (unless
there's something I'm unaware of). Writing? varies- depends on my current
teacher. Volleyball? please. Softball? not enough to make a living. So
what do I have? Passions.
I want to be known. My fashion shows, contest
entries, movies, websites, bands, poetry, newspaper articles, artwork,
my
whole bloody unacademic life is what keeps me together. So what's
the problem you say?! How can I get into a good college that will prepare
me for the real world and a real job that will actually PAY THE BILLS and
lead to success in the future in an area that I am passionate about?! huh?!
any answers?! I don't know. I've worked so hard so I have as many options
as possible for my future, and what do I see? Doors, and they lead to jobs
behind desks in cubicles with framed college degrees that major in
business. I don't want a door. I don't want a hallway full of doors. I
want an outdoor college, for only then is the sky the not the limit but
the starting point and THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is what I need,
for I fear I am suffocating in this town...
11-9-02
I'll be updating all day... sermons
section is up, with a newly updated directory...
11-8-02 (I love this song..)
Porcelain
Are you wasting away in your skin
Are you missing the love of your kin
Drifting and floating and fading away
Porcelain
Do you smell like a girl when you smile
Can you bear not to share with your child
Drifting and floating and fading away
Little lune
All day
Little lune
Porcelain
Do you carry the moon in your womb
Someone said that you’re fading too soon
Drifting and floating and fading away
Porcelain
Are you wasting away in your skin
Are you missing the love of your kin
Nodding and melting and fading away
Little lune
All day
Little lune...
11-1-02
Happy Belated Halloween! (Like my little
skeleton spider? I gots more skeletons somewheres...) Well my Halloween
was interesting. Too old for trick or treating, but next year... oh wow.
If I had known my school was looking for the stupidest costume I would
have come prepared. I started out in an interesting one, but after getting
a few looks changed into tinkerbell =0) It was the best. Next year, I'll
either be Thumbelina (cuz I'm so short) or one of the 3 blind mice. Would
that not be the best? Three girls in jogging suits with mice ears, white
canes and dark classes with stubby bloody tails. Then my one friend is
gonna dress up as a farmers wife and she'll have a bloody cleaver... it'll
be great. As for my "My Day as____" paper, I chose "My Day as a Skeleton."
It was so stupid it was great, so I decided to post
it.
10-26-02
*yawn* exhausted. Cole` had the best party
of all time. i didn't sleep until 4:20 and woke up @ 11 or so... then I
didn't sleep until 2:00... I'm steadily decreasing my time. This isn't
going to take long, I have the most massive amount of homework. Soon, my
fashion page should be up, and then homecoming page.... but until then,
i have to write a lame story about "My Day as _________". Probably roadkill..
stupidest assignment i've ever seen.
10-21-02
Ok, www.someonelikesyou.com is the devils
tool. You get an e-mail, being like "someone likes you" and you keep filling
out names of people, figuring out who it is, and for every 5 names they
give you a clue. After 30 e-mails, you have 6 clues. My clues? Between
13-16, brown hair, brown eyes, likes to dance, would like a romantic evening
with a quaint dinner, and has dogs. Sounds like most of my friends...
10-20-02
Yeah bay-bee! I had the night of my
life. I'm so happy... I can't even explain the events. I have enough blackmail
now to hold over me for the rest of my life, but other than that, I couldn't
be better. My dress was loved, I danced from the time I got there until
the time I left, I slow danced (amazing... i never, ever do...),
I saw so many good friends it was amazing, and I went out to dinner with
my buddies (give or take one =0( ) But other than that, the guy who got
his date and one of the guys I was too shy to invite were both there, and
later on, both were admittedly miserable with their choice of squeeze.
Hey, they coulda gone with me, but I bet that if they had, I wouldn't have
had the fun that I did...
The RHS
Fight Song (Revised!)
10-19-02
Early A.M. Homecoming prediction?
I will step out of my comfort zone. A lot. Updated art
gallery.Reflect my feelings...hmm...
5:00 P.M. Intensely paranoid yet slightly
optimistic. My mom just made me a purse to match my dress, my hair is pearfect
(not even the word,remember?), my nails are great, my dress is fabulous,
legs silky, makeup gorgeous, shoes comfy, jewelry elegant...something has
to go wrong. This is too easy for two hours before homecoming...
P.S. We won our homecoming game in the last 13 seconds by one fieldgoal...congrats Spartans! Homecoming King and Queen were Melissa C. and Tom G. Way to go y'all! Also, congrats to Katrina, the only sophomore in homecoming court that everyone cheered for! =0)
10-16-02
Today is October 16th, and it is three days
until homecoming. Normally, this would not be a big idea, but das ist
dumm. Homecoming has taken on a whole new personality. It is now no
longer a dress, a date, and a football game. Homecoming is now an endless
litany of excuses, reservations, and planning. It's not the date, but the
corsage, the cummerbund, and the vehicle of choice. Cookies and punch?
bah-humbug! We need to go to the crem de la crem of supreme-o restaraunts
and pay $200 for a dead crustacean in warm cow intestine! As for the dress:
forget conforming to a designers dress, let's make our own instead and
be just like Sitika here! Tension is high as no king or queen has been
announced, hostilities grow as dates for the evening dump and swap with
one another as if exchanging homework answers. It's all such a mental wedgie!
All I want is a nice evening in which I dance with a few guys and have
a good time. I no longer require a date. I'v given up. I've gone through
six guys with no success (3 I've rejected, 1 can't go, and 1 just got his
own date, and 1 I'm way too shy to invite) and I don't care anymore. I'm
too tired for all of this. Anywho, my dress looks booti-full (literally)
and I'm very happy. That was really, the only thing that made my day...
Need to burn a new CD? Betcha do- here's a list of spiffy
songs that ya need to consider...
10-14-02
Updated poems
section (only one new poem...I'd be glad to post more if they weren't so
bloody controversial...) Also added "Method
to My Mayhem" section. I just answer questions people ask about my
and my cute lil quirks. Nothing big. In case you haven't noticed, I've
started writing down "sermons". I'll get a section up soon, so I can fully
explain my ideas and the like, but it's really complicated now and all
too personal... I'll share eventually though. Enjoy for now...
10-13-02
10-06-02
