Looks That Could Kill
Playing with fire in Munich.

With apologies to Lennon-McCartney:

It was twenty years ago today,
BMW taught my coupe to play
It’s been going in and out of style
But it’s guaranteed to raise a smile.
So may I introduce to you
The group you've known for all these years,
The Sixers Lovely Coupes Club Band.

We're the Sixers Lovely Coupes Club Band,
P. Bracq made us the hit of the show,
We're the Sixers Lovely Coupes Club Band,
We wish C. Bangle would just go.
All the Sixers lovely, Sixers oh so lovely,
All the Sixers Lovely Coupes Club Band.

So wonderful they've been here,
They've given us a thrill.
We'd hoped the New 6 would thrill us,
We'd love to take it home with us,
We'd love to take it home.

I don't really want to stop the show,
But I thought that you might like to know,
Bangle's Sixers are way off key
His flames & tails are way off key
The back is so distraught
And a front like Pontiac wrought
No way he'll make the Sixers Lovely Coupes Club Band.

In the midst of this teeth-gnashing, angst-ridden time for those who detest BMW's mad foray into styling-by-Goofy, recently released shots of the New 6 Series bring only more dark clouds and foreboding for the faithful.

While we who treasure BMW's styling heritage can only shake our heads and wonder what Munich is smoking, opinion leaders like Automobile magazine review the new Z4 with scathing words. In an article titled "Looks That Could Kill," Mark Gillies minces no words about the risk Munich runs with its current styling.

"At a time when the industry has gone gonzo in a power and performance frenzy," Gillies says, "there is plenty of competition for the minds and wallets of enthusiasts. Failing to connect on any level can damage a car's chances; failing to connect with a car's design could kill them."

Some thirty years ago, Munich's styling chief was not an arrogant American but an astute Frenchman. Paul Bracq's vision for BMW styling laid the foundation for three decades of beautiful design, culminating in the current 3 and 5 Series' models. Bracq’s designs branded the marque with a signature look that has been universally admired for three decades. In Gillies words, "BMW styling has rarely been anything other than elegant, timeless, and evolutionary."

According to Automobile, "the twenty year old motor gophers in our office are turned on just as much by an M3 as is David E. Davis, Jr., a man more than three times their age. Good design transcends age, gender, income, and explanation; bad design appeals fleetingly to tastemeisters who get bored and move on to the next trend."

Twenty years ago this month, my 633CSi rolled off the Dingolfing line east of Munich. At 20, my Silbersix is still a headturner. Its timeless lines not only exemplify European coupe design from the 1970s and 80s, but explain why the 6 Series holds the record for longevity of production of any BMW ever made. Good design requires little change; good design transcends the passage of time.

It requires no great sense of aesthetics to look at the models now being foisted upon BMW dealers worldwide to know that edgy, polarizing looks have no place in BMW's design vocabulary. They betray what the brand stands for. They threaten the very core of BMW's identity.

Twenty years from now, the original 6 Series will be as beautiful as ever. Twenty years from now, the current 3 and 5 Series models will possess the same cool elegance they do now. Twenty years from now, the new 7 and Z4 and (shudder) 6 Series cars will be seen as oddities, aberrations from the mind of a chief designer whose glib talk and arrogance are leading a great company down a most threatening path. That is a great pity, for it doesn’t have to be so.

On the road, we are (or aspire to be) what we drive. The core appeal of BMW, regardless of model, has always been the magic connection created between the driver, the car and the road. Superior execution of timeless design with uncompromised driving dynamics is what makes BMW our favorite marque. In a day when that combination is no longer the exclusive preserve of a few car companies, BMW plays with fire by deserting its design heritage and most loyal customers.  -RS

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