WHY I CRY AT WEDDINGSI wonder why memories Can hurt so much? Here, in this empty, vandalised house, Our first marital home - The one I ran away from, Trying to get away from you. You were sick just here, Vomiting your beer and curry. Its smelly trail slid down From the first-floor window. And here You overturned An overladen basket And kicked clean laundry Because There was no ironed shirt, While I lay Clutching my hurting belly Feeble and snivelling, “Don’t - Please don’t start...” And you screamed back, “YOU ARE SO FUCKING USELESS.” And in this room I still hear it - The sound of smashing. You wrecking our home And my confidence with it. I still expect to feel Your hands on my shoulders, Shaking me furiously, Spitting, snarling, at my face. You, my lonely saviour - Whom I never showed appreciation for. And all the journey home Long after we slam the door On an empty house Full of bad memories, You ask me what’s the matter? And you say I’m in a funny mood today.