| One Liners The best collection to make your stomach pain while laughing |
| � Did you hear about the wife who shot her husband with a bow and arrow because she didn't want to wake the children. � Q: What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a million letters in it? A: Post Office. � Q: What does Tarzan sing at Christmas? A: Jungle Bells. � Q: Why couldn't the skeleton go to the dance? A: He had no body to go with. � Near-tragedy at the mall- There was a power outage, and Santa and Banta were stuck on the escalators for over four hours. � Lady Astor once said to Winston Churchill at a party, "Sir, if you were my husband, I would put poison in your tea." To which Churchill retorted, "And Madame, if you were my wife, I would drink it!". � Sunny's teacher sent a note home to his Mother saying, "Sunny seems to be a very bright boy, but spends too much of his time thinking about girls." The Mother wrote back the next day, "If you find a solution, please advise. I have the same problem with his Father.". � A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm.... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills." The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward.". � A Man goes to the doctor for some tests. Few weeks later he asks for the results. Doctor: I have some good news and some bad news. Man: I suppose I better have the good news first. Doctor: We�re going to name a disease after you. � Q: When do you know you are overweight? A: When you are sunbathing on the beach and a Greenpeace-activist tries to roll you back into the sea. |
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