| One Liners The best collection to make your stomach pain while laughing |
| � Santa: " What`s the weather like ?" Banta: "I don`t know --it's so foggy that I can't see". � Santa: The aeroplane is so big. How is it painted ? Banta: When it flies in the air, it will become small and it is easily painted. � Q: God gave you 2 legs to walk, 2 hands to to hold, 2 ears to hear, 2 eyes to see- but why did He give you only one heart ? A: Because He gave the other one to someone for you to find. � Two cannibals were crossing a bridge. It was narrow, high, and somewhat slippery. The male cannibal asked gallantly, "May I offer you my arm?" The female answered, " No thanks...I had breakfast.". � A woman phoned the laundry to report, "There's been a mistake. You sent me a pair of pyajamas, and I don't have a husband." The laundry clerk replied, " Don't worry... we'll send a man over right away.". � A pregnant blonde sreeched at her doctor, " You lied to me! You said that IUD Coil worl like the Pill. Well, it didn't.., and besides, it was a whole lot harder to swallow.". � A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the driver, he was astounded to see a blonde behind the wheel knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn, and yelled, PULLOVER!" "NO," the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!". � After a dinner speech, the speaker scolded his secretary: "Why did you write such a long speech for me? You saw how those people were feeling bored!" The secretary replied, "Sir, it wasn't a lengthy speech at all; but I did make one mistake- I gave you all 3 copies of the speech.". � 1st Lawyer: You're a fool 2nd Lawyer: And you're a damn fool. Judge : As the learned lawyers have now identified each other, can we now proceed with the case. � Q: If a blonde and a brunette jump out of an airplane at the same time, which one would hit the ground first ? A: The brunette ; the blonde would have to stop to ask directio |
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