300402, 1611hr, central time.

yes, i own a beautiful pair of rollerblades now! muahahaha....alvin and i went grocery shopping last night briefly, before making a detour to the sports good section of meijers where i quickly fell in love with that pair of rollerblades. alvin was obviously the wrong person to go with, since his knees are too weak for him to blade, and he has absolutely zero opinion on any of them. but he was useful for helping me up after i put on the blades. he was also helpful for pushing me along the aisle, pretending to be ghosts. hahahahahahahahaha...never mind.

the summer spirit has caught up with me, despite the relatively cool weather these days. as i daydream in class [today is the 2nd last day of term...muahaha.] i dreamt of what i would be doing in singapore. ah, the usual story - cross-stitch project to be completed, learn rollerblading, go swimming, read, shopping, bum, talk to mom, talk to friends, watch lots of tv. heh. i have such great plans. the pessimistic me, however, quickly moved on to think about what i will be doing after that. after my short holiday at home, i will have to return again, for summer school. will i be ready for the academic challenges then? will i be ready to face a relatively empty house and campus? i don't have a good impression of summer school, mostly because i don't like the fact that most of my friends won't be around.

i had beautiful memories of my summer school in 2000, studying a course in archeology and the bible, taking care of lynn and letting her take care of me. our first time staying in an apartment, first time cooking meals for one another. i remember the tv in the apartment that didn't have any reception, so we rented tapes to watch instead. i remember riding my creaky bicycle to class everyday, before discarding it when someone ran over the front wheel and i realized it wasn't worth it to try to repair it. i remember buying our car during that summer, from a guy who on retrospect lied to us. i remember taking a picture with the camry, my first car, all excited. i remember driving out to have a celebratory dinner, despite neither of us having a driver's license. those were the crazy illegal times, those were the happy summer days.

i will have my rollerblades to zoom around with this summer, but i won't have my beloved car, my beloved friend, nor my beloved man. who shall watch the videos with me? who shall encourage me to do my work? who shall get drunk with me? who shall i indulge with my experimental cooking? i'm reluctant to override all the happy memories of summer school with lynn, with unhappy ones. it is very overwhelming, to think about the days i will have in singapore, knowing fully well that summer school awaits after that. the nearer my departure date for singapore, the nearer also my departure date from singapore. oh dear.

this entry started out happy, didn't it? i have a pessimistic mind, i can't help it. oh dear. maybe i should go zoom around on my blades for a while. it'll get my mind off things a little.