260302, 1740hr, central time.

yes, i do have a sour face. alvin says i sleep with a frown sometimes. sidat mentioned today too that i have a perpetual furrow between my brows. hmm. bad. wrinkles later. bad.

i'm happier today, isn't that nice? for no good reason actually, other than that i'm tired of feeling down. it was snowing this morning, so i skipped my media and politics class - i rather enjoy this class actually, so i usually wouldn't skip it. but this morning i woke up with such a bad throat and cold, i decided it's not worth it braving through the snow and end up getting worse. when the snow stopped though, i got kinda irritated, in a very anal way, that the snow accumulated in my front door was so thick i couldn't get to the mailbox without getting my pjs wet. so i pulled up my pants, put on some proper shoes and shovelled my way to the mailbox. and then i shovelled a path from the door to the pavement. and then the pavement up the driveway. to the side door. then to the kitchen back door. and then i decided to shovel the whole driveway. i didn't manage to get through with it though, alvin scolded me for being out there while i'm sick.

but you know what? i felt great. true, i was sniffing and coughing and basically trying not to choke on my own slimy mucus. but on the other hand, i felt more alive. to be out there, in daylight, working my arms and back, and doing something for my housemates, and my neighbours too (we share the driveway). i shovelled part of the pavement, so even passers-by can also benefit from my labor. it's kinda a good feeling. i felt proud, when a bus happened to stop near my house and i noticed someone looking at me and pointing me out to her friend in the bus. for all i know, they're saying "hey, look at that idiot shovelling snow in her pjs." but i don't care. haha. such a great feeling.

i also found out that my international security prof postponed the deadline for my book report, so i have more time to work on it than i thought. last afternoon while i was working at the library, i also managed to look up some articles about the book i was reviewing. turns out the book i chose has already been reviewed. though i probably won't come to the same ideas and conclusion, it's always good to have something to refer to, to make sure i understood the book correctly. anyway, with the deadline pushed back, i can breathe easier now.

i'm about 2 days behind schedule for my gis assignments, mostly because i'm not able to stay awake any later than 11pm these days. do i care? i did, but not anymore - i'll make up a new schedule. haha. my japan exchange stuff is still not settled, my nose is leaking like a tap, i have some troubled friends i cannot help, i just found out that my credit card bills are higher than i expected, and my whole body is aching like crazy [partly because of the snow shovelling fun, but only partly!] it doesn't look like i can hold out much longer tonight to do my work. do i care? hmmmmm. no. muahaha...yes, that feels damn good. it's not so much i don't care about these things anymore, of course not. it's just that i'm breathing easier now (figuratively, of course), because i realize maybe sometimes life is just meant to be difficult. maybe sometimes you're not just meant to be able to deal with everything. because if you can, you're already perfect and there's no more purpose in anything you do. yes, so i'm not perfect, big deal. at least i get to shovel snow.

eat dirt you non-snow-shovelling people*! muahahahhaa....