290102, 1406hr, central time.

i really think i should join the taekwando club, just to keep myself physically active and fit. i've been setting myself all these fitness targets, like go jogging at least 3 times a week kind of thing, and i never fulfill them. argh. my new year resolution is to get fitter, and things aren't looking too good now. bleah.

you might notice a new column up there, the sensei watch - i don't think my humongous crush on my japanese teacher is going away anytime soon, and i'm just sick of bursting into one sudden paragraph every other day saying how cute he is. so there, with that column up there now, i can say whatever i want about him without disrupting every other thing i want to say in the main journal entry. it's gonna be a tracker of my obssession with him too, just so i can see how crazy i am. really. i'm too old to have a crush on my teacher. but i do! he's only 25 years old anyway! haha.

valentine's day is coming up. hmm. i have special feelings for this year's valentine's day, because this is actually the first vday, since my relationship with ws, when i actually have a steady boyfriend. in 1999, having just broken up, i was perfectly happy spending valentine's day with my friends, alone, whatever it is i did, i don't remember. but i don't think i was miserable. all the turmoil regarding shaun reached a climax in valentine's day of 2000 [i refuse to link to that entry, because i think it's intensely embarrassing.] then in 2001, i was quite possibly still just flirting with some people, i actually talked about ws too. see. i missed him, and actually i still do. and now, 2002, now that i actually do have a boyfriend, i feel quite nonchalant about it. maybe my feelings will change when the day draws nearer, maybe i'll feel inspired to do an in depth analysis of my romantic endeavours for the past year, maybe i'll talk instead about what a wonderful guy alvin is, maybe i'll talk about how dumb valentine's day really is. [which i do believe, actually, except i still have a weakness for flowers. call me a sucker for cliches.] hmm. valentine's day.

chinese new year is coming up too. my kor's gonna be in singapore, cos he's already finished his studies in japan - way ahead of time, so he's requested to return to singapore for some internship, instead of wasting time and money in japan. he's still enrolled in the kyoto university though, he's effectively still a student, but think he's trying to fight that, cos he wanted to start working soon and start working his bond off. he's always been home for new year anyway the past years, i'm so intensely jealous. this year, the lunar new year falls on 12th feb, a tuesday, which also happens to be the busiest day of the week for me. so i really envision myself getting so caught up with my work that i won't even know i just grew older [according to chinese tradition, everyone grows older by a year at the same time during chinese new year.]

there're actually a lot of things i can look forward to, valentine's day, chinese new year, even springbreak. but strangely enough, i don't feel particularly excited about anything. i live day by day, i plan my time with my trusty diary/organiser. don't ask me what i'm doing 2 days from today, because i don't know, and i don't have time to care. it's really quite pathetic. yet, it's so necessary. sigh. i can't say i'm complaining, because i'm really focused right now on my work, and i am relatively efficient in completing what i want to do, which gives me such a huge sense of satisfaction. in contrast to the horrible lethargic slacker i was for the first two weeks of school, i'm definitely at least more active now. just not as active in *everything* as i wanted. [ie, i've not gone swing dancing, and i've not been working out.]

hmm, i wish though i can stop being such a geek and start living life the way i want to live life. start living the life everyone seems to think i have. i must remember, i'm cool! if i had been able to stick to my plan [and new year resolution]. hahahaha.